Dysfunctional Planner

This time of year is pure magic.

I love the rain, but only when I have time to appreciate it and dress for it appropriately. My garden is sodden and boggy. Mud sticks to my boots and leaves go from crispy sculptures to slimy death traps. I spend a few minutes each day rescuing bulbs and plants into my green house.

I love it all.

Obviously you need to stay warm and dry but walks with Frank in the rain are now followed with a quick pint in the pub by the fire or now that the stove is installed, a hot chocolate by our very own fire.

We now have our very own log burning fire!

With the dark nights and my lack of interest in TV my evenings are spent curled up on the couch. fire roaring, Gavin beside me sipping tea, scoffing biscuits and a book in hand.

I put on my green star pyjamas fresh from the wash and hunker under blankets and duvets.

Our house is a wreck, no room left untouched by our renovations. No Christmas tree up, no mantle strewn with decorations, I am embracing it all.

I talk about Gavin’s cancer a lot in my blogs this year. But I am so grateful he is with me. That we laugh, argue and talk about all manner of things. That he is here to share these moments.

We kiss under the mistletoe growing in the park, even if it’s raining. We walk Frank together as a family of 3 no matter the weather.

I am so grateful.

Winter can be daunting, especially after Christmas. Those early dark nights will soon lead onto brighter evenings. But right now, in this moment I crave it slowing down. I don’t want to miss a thing.

I want to take advantage of colder evenings, picking out jumpers, making shopping lists. Eating party food for dinner, drinking red wine!.

I want to be at home, I want to see my friends I want to go on long meandering walks and breathe in the fresh frosty air.

I want to take advantage of the best bits of winter. Celebrating each beautiful moment. I understand that my having all this, friends, warmth, love makes me very lucky, but honestly I wish everyone had this. I wish there was no loneliness. No isolation, no coldness except the weather. I am trying to be a better person, a kinder person, more understanding, more giving.

So tell the ones you love, you love them. And check your stool it may save your life.