The stress has eased and now I am just grateful

Advice, Personal Experience, Planning, self care

I feel better now

I do

I have been having a few rants and stresses lately. I know when family get involved it can all get a bit much but it’s important to know that they are here for you.

Mine have been amazing

And when I say my family that also includes my friends and people that are in my life.

I have said before that me and Gavin are very different. He hates excluding people and always feels like the bigger the better. He also welcomes new friends into his life all the time. I never have to worry about being late because Gav will have made a friend at the bar or on the way in.

He is so welcoming and I am but not as much. I don’t go out of my way to make new friends because the friendships I have had for years are so precious to me. I don’t get to spend enough time with them so without being horrible I don’t need more friends.

I hold them close to my heart and I would do anything for them. And I know that they would do the same.

The stress has eased. It may have to do with the fact that we have got a lot done. The list has halved. Things have been ordered and arrived and there are just a few makes left to do.

Monday is a prep day

Tuesday is a family day

Wednesday is when I completed the seating plan

Thursday is organise the house day

Friday is set up day

Saturday is the day

It’s almost here and it’s too late to worry about things that are out of my control.

Dear Mother Nature please don’t rain!!

My friends and family are banding around to make this day magical for me and Gavin. I took out my mother in law and mum for a prethankyou so that they would know how much there roles in my life mean to me.

I am feeling really grateful that one, Gav decided to marry me and two, that my friends and family are here to support me and Gavin.

Because we need it.

We need them here with us. I am starting to get excited now!

Gym skin my routine has changed

Beauty, self care, skincare

A few years ago when I joined the gym I didn’t see much improvement. In fact it got worse for a while.

But now I am training regularly and showering at home I have seen improvements. When I was showering at the gym I decided to mainstream my beauty products. Let’s face it I went from 5 items to an entire shelf.

Slimlining

I have gone too far with my beauty routines and products. I haven’t bought anything new in about 6 weeks.

I mean I wanted to, I just didn’t.

When I went to the gym I had one bag that I used and since then I have been using the same products every day.

  • Cleanser Sunday Riley
  • Matryxal the ordinary
  • B-hydra Drunk Elephant
  • Elemis Toner
  • C Tango serum Drunk Elephant
  • Azaleaic acid The Ordinary
  • SPF Drunk Elephant

That’s is!

That’s all I need in the morning.

I cleanse in the shower. I have started taking a bit longer really working the cleanser into my skin. Massaging it and giving myself a bit of a facial. I love it.

Then I go in with either my mytrxal or my azelaeic acid. The two don’t appear to like each other when I layer them so I just alternate then on a daily basis. Then I use my Bhydra and CFirma mixed together for ease.

My last layer is of course my SPF. This needs time to settle down it does make my skin appear white and greasy but it soon fades down.

I generally don’t wear makeup to work unless I feel like it or I am going out afterwards but generally I am bare faced with my skin fully protected.

Gym help

I have seen improvements in my skin from going to the gym. This is down to consuming more water but mainly it’s down to me eating less sugar.

I know that there is no direct link to chocolate and bad skin but my skin always reacts to it if I have too much which I often do. My choices in the last few weeks have been healthier.

Smarter with a few mistakes thrown in for good measure.

I am not drinking ale before the wedding! And am eating a healthy lunch every day. I still drink Diet Coke but it’s my vice!

So that’s it. After the wedding I won’t be trying as many products just repurchasing what I like and what I use.

Today I ate my feelings

Advice, Personal Experience

I know there is no point getting stressed getting worried about the never ending list won’t solve anything and nor will eating my feelings

I thought I would be better at this.

Dealing with the stress.

Being organised.

It turns out when it comes to wedding planning, I am definitely a dysfunctional planner. I feel like I have left everything to the last moment and now its all getting on top of me.

I am lucky that I don’t suffer with anxiety. I have dark moments and blue days but nothing like the crippling anxiety I know that so many people struggle with day to day.

Except at the moment it here.

A lead weight in my chest. A dark hole in my brain that wants to shut down rather than get active.

I may just be tired, physically.

I know there is no point in getting stressed. I am actually on top of things and I still have a few weeks to go. 3 infact. And I can accomplish a lot in those weeks. Especially as the last one I am not at work at all.

But today I was quiet all day and I got so many side glances at work I knew they thought something wasn’t quite right.

Compulsive eater: saga of eating my feelings

Today I ate my feelings in the shape of Krispy Kremes. The first was a treat. The second was pure indulgence and the third was me dissolving into myself. Filling that void with pure sugar and eating it so quickly no one, not even myself could stop me. I crammed that thing into my mouth and it didn’t change a thing. I don’t enjoy it and I didn’t regret it.

Whenever I am angry or sad I crave bad food, today was not different except I am not sad but numb.

Numb and stuck.

I went to the gym for an hour this morning and then I destroyed my calorie intake in 9 bites.

I have support.

Every time I even hint I am stressed I am inundated with friends and family offering support and physical help.

I know what I need to do.

But I am stuck inside my own head and it’s a very quiet grey haunted place. To quote Bono

Stuck in the middle and you can’t get out of it

I will go home tonight, cook dinner and achieve a few wedding bits.

I will get a lovely puppy greeting and cuddle. A kiss from my fiancé a discussion about food and drink. Watch a few episodes of My Kitchen Rules Australia and Great British Bake off. I will read a bit of my new book as I tuck myself away for an early night at 10pm.

Pull my socks up and get on with it but it’s there.

tomorrow I will probably be fine before the next bout of anxiety nibbles away at me.

I am only writing this out loud because if anyone else is in the same situation then they should know that even though people don’t speak about it much it happens a lot.

Like I said before I don’t normally suffer from it all. I am truly blessed in that my mental health is pretty, well healthy.

Fitness update three weeks since I joined the gym, getting up early

body confidence, confidence, Fitness, weight loss

So I thought if you are not too bored of this newbieish gym goer then you may like to read this.

I am actually on my fourth week now and I am loving it. I am loving the feeling of improving my body. Every time I go I push myself and improve. The results are immediate in so far as the next time I go I can do it. When people say that fitness is all in your head they mean it. Because every time I think I can’t do it, the next visit I can!

I recently watch Jamie Genevieve fitness vlog and she said this gem of wisdom

” No one ever regrets going to the gym”

And she is right. I feel good when I leave the gym. I have energy that lasts me till about 3.30 and then I flag a little. My body looks better.

I feel better!

I still have work to do and a few more patches of skin to tone but I am happy about my body. I just need to keep it up.

Early mornings

I love my bed so much, so getting up early, like 5.45am is pretty god damn early.

I look like crap but yesterday even the sun wanted to go back to bed!!

But I have found that I need a gym buddy! I miss Jon laughing at me and introducing me to new exercises and machines. I asked Gav if he would join again but he doesn’t fancy it!

So I aim to go 3-4 times a week and so far I have done it! But I have to go early. Yesterday I came home and had a quick run around the park with Frank and he loved it!

I have to get up

I have to go

But when I get there I love it and it’s worth it. Most of the time I say I am definitely going the next morning. Then that morning I decide whether or not to hit the snooze button.

So this is my little update for my gym fitness. I hate getting up early but the benifits are paying of. I need the motivation of the gym and the support of my gym buddies. I have also started running back from the gym. Not a massive distance but I will lengthen it each week.

There is a park run on Saturday and I should really see if I can do it.

But we will see!

Gym nightmare: my forgetfulness is becoming an issue!

Fitness, weight loss

So this week I have been pretty crap! Went to the gym on Monday did a good workout mixing everything up and then I left my trainers at the gym.

I am generally forgetful but they are bright pink and I normally check my locker!

Not good

So I didn’t go to the gym Tuesday or Wednesday and realised that I needed a gym buddy. Someone to motivate me to go, to challenge me to push myself.

And just to turn up at the bloody gym.

So I set my alarm for 5.30 and went to the gym.

5.30 is an ungodly hour.

It was still twilighty, that’s how early it was and I had to dig out my old Adidas trainers so I could work out.

My face was like thunder when I hit the gym. But I turned up worked out and my body is a lot less sore this time.

We tried a few different machines!

this was I found a little scary as I challenged myself with the weights. Jon is taking them off for me! I don’t think I got heavier then 60k but next time I will.

It was a challenge.

I have forgotten my towel a few times.

My day clothes

But loosing my trainers really annoyed me.

My forgetfulness is pissing me off but I have so many things on my mind it’s not going to change any time soon!

Feeling a little overwhelmed, does every bride go through this?

Advice

I am not ashamed to admit I had a little cry at work last week. Time is ticking by and there is still a lot of things to organise.

It is easy to say that I am feeling a little overwhelmed and stress is the cause. A proper first world problem but still a problem.

Does every bride and groom go through this?

I am guessing it’s a yes, unless everything is being dealt with by a wedding planner then anyone in the same situation as us will be.

Because our site is a field we have to organise everything, everything! It’s not hard it just means we have to be organised and I feel like it’s all on my shoulders but it’s not.

Gav is doing his fair share! I am on top of the majority of my DIY makes and the majority of them look great. But the amount of little jobs that I can’t really hand out.

Still so much to do

All the little jobs are adding up now and I have had a lot of friends reach out and ask me what they can do to help.

I have taken them up on it.

I said at the beginning that when people offer help it really is because they want to help and be a part of it.

I called my dad. Mainly because I miss him and to ask when he is arriving. I told him I was stressed. His first words were

“Why are you stressed?

What can I do to help?”

I love my dad. He just said the exact right thing. I had been talking to my sister in law about a few things. Asked my mum to bring over the cheese ( she lives in France!!!) and am chatting to my sister a lot.

Alexa rallied them all up and had a chat with them. Then we all pulled our socks up and got on with it. I am very proud to be a PAYET! We are all awesome.

Family help

I have support in all sides. Gavs family is here when ever I need them and We have already involved them at every stage. Papa smurf my father in law has actually made me a fair few props and they have come out so well that I may ask him to make a few more!

Stress

I don’t want to be stressed on our wedding day! I just want to enjoy it. I have been looking forward to this moment my whole adult life and some of my childhood too ( thank you Disney).

I just wish my family were a bit closer than the other side of the equator!!

because I organise events as part of my job I did think it would be a lot easier. It isn’t really difficult there is just a lot to manage. But we have 4 weeks now.

So I made a big list.

A super list

And already I have crossed things off!

The importance of a canapé: food issues

Advice, food, Wedding

So having been a wedding guest a few hundred times, kidding, I know how important it is to feed your guests! A happy guest is a happy wedding.

Pretty sure the number one complaint from your wedding guests are that they are hungry, cold or thirsty! They are basic things that should always be covered. Everything else is just about timing.

For us

We are getting married outside whether is rains or not! So when it comes to our guests they will wrap up accordingly. When it comes to our bridal party we need to look after them!

The weather we don’t have any control over but drink and food we do! Weddings in the UK are usually at lunch time which means that you may have a big breakfast but from then to the wedding breakfast is normally a good 5 hours. I have been know to put a few snacks in my hand bag.

Now I have had amazing canapés ( friggin steak which melted in the mouth) quails eggs dipped in Bloody Mary salt! I still dream about those canapés and I have had weird ones, as well as no canapés.

When you are hungry and waiting it is so important to feed your guests and keep them happy. Like a nice glass of pimms and a cold beer! Lovely!

Because we are hiring a food truck we don’t really have the option for canapés so we still need to feed our guests without filling them up.

Cold food is going to be the easiest choice but deciding on that has been tricky.

I refuse not to serve canapés and Gav agrees. I hate it when you sit down and they is a tiny bit delicious warm roll and you devour it before your starter comes.

Speeches drag if you don’t have happy guests.

Getting the right balance is hard! You want them with a drink in their hand but not drunk! You want them to have rated something but not full.

You want happy guests who can focus on enjoying the day without complaining that they are hungry or tired or dying for drink!