A little tenderness

Advice, health, Personal Experience

Todays blog is about sharing a little tenderness. I love the face that there are so many posts about kindness. It doesn’t take much to be kind. Generally it takes nothing but time.

Take the time to be kind.

Shivelry used to be a male thing but it doesn’t have to be we can all be kind, generous.

I am a first aider at work.

I am a proud first aider. The course makes you feel a little awkward when you you are practicing but after you feel confident. Ready to face any challenge.

It has come in handy so many times including when I fell over and sprained my ankle ( I was good at wrapping bandages).

As a grown up you learn that you don’t have to like everybody

I have a small group friends. I don’t make new friends easily. But I am friendly and even if I don’t like you I can still be there for you. I can still support you at your lowest.

Caring is not about liking.

Caring is just about making sure everyone or just someone is okay. That they can call you if they need an ear. Or you will sit with them and let them cry when they are lost.

I hate thinking of someone in pain. I try not to be mean, I do not advocate people who say what you think because “they are just being honest”. But that is for another blog I think. To quote Cher

“Word are like weapons, they wound sometimes”

I actually met one of my great friend when she was grieving. She was new at work and I was told not to trust her. She was excellent at her job but we just didn’t get on. I came up stairs and she was arguing on the phone about her mother’s account. Her mother had passed away and she had already sent them the paperwork. She was distraught and I just opened up my arms and she stepped in. We had no real relationship before this. I just knew she need physical support and nothing beats a hug when you are feeling down.

No one should feel that alone when they are upset. We weren’t friends at the time but she needed comfort and it cost me nothing. I told her to take her time and come down when she was ready.

She repaid me back a few weeks later. We still weren’t friends but we had a sort of respect for one another.

My brother was ill in hospital and I was rightly worried about him. I snapped at a staff member on the phone then her boss rang me back and bollocked me. I was rude and deserved it but I was falling apart. Katie said you need a drink and took me out. She said it was out of character for me to be rude and talked me through it. We have been friends ever since.

A small act of kindness can save someone from drowning in their sorrows.

Plus i made a friend out of it.

If you know me you know that I can’t leave a vulnerable person.

The amount of times I have sat with a person who was upset or who needed help. I am not someone who walks past I can’t help it. Gav supports me on it.

Sometime helping can expose yourself

Doubt can creep in your mind when you see a situation. It’s important to be cautious, you don’t want to put yourself in a dangerous situation or make things worse. Never expose yourself if you are concerned you can always call the emergency services and step back.

Just make sure that you inform someone

We live in a world of technology and our emergency services are phenomenal every single one of them. They can help you, talk you through a situation and they don’t judge you for it. So as soon as you spot a situation that needs help. Get on your phone and ask for help. If you are by yourself call someone to let them know where you are and what has happened.

You will feel vulnerable and exposed.

One sunny day a few year ago I saw a man on the floor in the street. I was watching him as I approached. I saw a women step around him and make her way home. I didn’t blame her she felt vulnerable too because he was a man and didn’t know how to react. She didn’t know how he going to react to her or the situation. This happened on my street so I ran home and told Gav what had happened , dumped my valuables and ran back to help the man. I thought maybe it was a con, doubt set in my mind that maybe he would rob me or assault me. But I still had to see if he was okay. Gav was a bit confused and stood at the gate watching me. Not sure if he had fainted or just collapsed but I went through the steps. Calling out asking his name name. He stirred and I helped him up. He weighed nothing but I supported him home. He lived a few doors down. I was worried he would be hit buy a car.

I don’t know how long he had been there.

The reason I am writing this blog is what happened this week. London is full of underpasses and dark spaces.

It can be a scary lonely place, lets face it when the sun goes down we all feel a little exposed.

I hate them. They fill me with dread. I am so aware of my surroundings that I jump at every noise.

Tonight I had to walk under one of these terrors and as I approach the end there looked like an incident had occured.

I was alone and something ahead had happened. My heart skipped a beat.

As I approached I noticed that a large man had passed out and 3 concerned people where standing over him. One lady on her phone to emergency services.

Thank you 999

A guy with his dog and a woman. All three concerned.

As I approached a man walked round and said he was homeless and he had seen him before and walked on. The rest of us stayed put, we could not leave him. They started discussing what had happened to him drugs alcohol…. none of this mattered.

Emergency services operator asked us to put him on his back as he was breathing but not responding to us. The women in the phone said I am tiny I can’t do it.

So I did.

I approached him and started talking loudly and clearly even though he didn’t respond. I didn’t want him to wake up with a strange person touching his arms and moving his feet.

The other lady helped me. We did it all smoothly and the lady on the phone took off her beautiful soft cream scarf and put it under his head so that this mans head wouldn’t touch the floor. I went through the steps in my head. Talk to them, tell them what you are doing move them slowly and keep repeating yourself so if they can hear you they understand.

The man had a discharge band on his wrist so we knew his name and his age.

He is 1 year younger than me.

Photo by Taufiq Klinkenborg on Pexels.com

He was snoring loudly at this time so we know that he was alive however he was vulnerable. Anything could have happened to him in that state.

And if he took drugs or was drunk that does not mean that he deserves to be left alone.

4 strangers waited for an ambulance to come. We wouldn’t leave him.

I don’t care if he took drugs or drink or what caused him to get in this situation. We should never leave people alone when they are at there most vulnerable.

My biggest worry was not his health but how other people would react to him. Would he be beaten or abused in his semi comatose state. All it takes is a bunch or bored kids to do some real damage. Sadly we know that this happens all the time.

My first aid course is out of date and I am having a new one this Friday. I urge you all if anyone offers this position in work that you go for it.

It gives you confidence and knowledge that is vital in situations like this.

Knowledge is power and we should always be there for the vulnerable.

This was a bit of a serious one but I really do think that we should all be a bit more caring and kind. I believe the world is truly a kind and loving place but it is easy to focus on bad things. The negative things in your day often overtake all the good things. All the times you laughed today get out weighed by the rude person who pushed in front of you at the supermarket.

so today, this week, this year, I hope you try a little tenderness.

Carving out a little space for me: home organising renovation


We creatives need space

Carving out a space that is all yours is so important. We are lucky our house has three bedrooms. Gav is a contractor so needs his office, he also paints Warhammer soldiers and plays a lot of computer games so his office is his world really.

He loves it.

I didn’t begrudge him because when I do my illustrations I normally just paint in the front room. Put this is getting too much. Marie kondo or just logical thinking means that this is wrong. Everything should be in it own place.

Everything should stay in its home.

So maybe its time for me to carve out a creative place for myself.

I had an idea to turn my spare bedroom into a creative place. I had a clear vision of shelves and my school desk as it has storage. We bought a grey sofa bed which is huge but suits the room.

When we first moved in I wanted to go crazy in the room. But when you have a space that is yours it hard to decide what you actually want. Gav gave me free reign so I went to the paint shop certain that I was going to paint the fire place a lovely lemon.

Yeah that didn’t happen.

Gav initially wanted this as his games room so we now have a large tv over the fire place. It may have to go but that is another conversation.

This fireplace is the absolute prettiest fireplace. We are lucky we have four original fire places in our home.

I have been having a bit of a clear out- plastic bin bags in toe. I started by removing all art materials from the bedroom. There is a lot. I have a drawer just for watercolour. I have papers stashed all over the house and pens and pencils everywhere. But can we ever find a pen.


Adios mess

Because I am so dysfunctional, I love to organise but no system is ever right mainly because I don’t follow through with it. And it is all about the follow through and maintaining rather than the first burst of effort.

So I have been through. Art books are banished from the bedroom, when I am done all we will have will be clothes and bedding. And a few bedside books. Everything else needs to adios back to its rightful place.

Organising and routines

We all have our routines. What we like to do in the morning.

Me I am a shower, skincare, dress, walk the dog, out the door type of person. Rather than a leisurely get up get ready (that’s what Sundays are for) I prefer to eat at work (my sometimes breakfast) because I am not hungry first thing.

Gav is the opposite. He loves to relax in the mornings.

So I need to organise top to bottom in my small but very full house. Also we are buying lots of bits for the wedding and rather than forget about them it will be best to store them in the attic till needed. I have a cute a5 clip board with whats up there on it!

I know I am the biggest looser.

A space that’s all mine

So having a space for myself is ideal.

When I painted the fireplace I realised that the walls were cream and above the picture rail was white. Grrr.

Gav thinks cream is fine. I find it too fussy so I painted the wall by the window white. It’s a fairly dark room and need more light!

I bought my shelves from Funky Chunky Furniture, they are great and send you samples so you can match the wood. They are floating shelves so no brackets. If you have a Victorian house you will know that sometimes the wall aren’t straight. So I chose a slightly smaller shelf so they really float.

My father in Law and brother in law ( to be) put them up for me. They are heavy and awkward but gorgeous now that they are up! I love them. They match the picture rail woodwork.

I wanted them high enough so I can put my items that inspire me as well as my brushes and non lightfast bits. Everything means something to me. I have a few wooden crates that I will put my art materials in them away for the light.

Plant babies

This is a dark room but it is also the warmest! So we need to be careful with the plants and paints.

I have three plants in here. A money plant that I have propagated ( this is my 3rd one from the same plant yay) a Venus flytrap that is on her last legs… I think she can live for a few more weeks so I thought a warmer room with more sunlight may chest her up!

I love my plants.

Then I have my cactus, I bought it I the next sale a year ago for 50p I bought 15 and 7 survived, this is 6/7 he is a very sturdy happy plant who has been in the dark a while and seems to like it in this shady corner. Gav bought me this science plant jar and 6/7 loves it! Perfect amount of draining for him too!


So this is my space a place just for me. Frank and Manhattan with occasionally join me in this room but it is make just for me. I need to paint the rest of the walls and get some more storage for my art materials so this place works for me.

Everything I love deserves it’s own home. I am so glad I started this project I just need to buy a new chair and start using it.

It is so therapeutic to clean and organise and be slightly less dysfunctional!

I hope you enjoyed. Here is the room before we owned the house!

Thank you for reading.

Drunk Elephant littles : Wedding skin review

Beauty, body confidence, Personal Experience, Wedding

Hello reader! Hope you are well this last year I have been obsessed with my skin. Nothing wrong with a bit of self improvements but I have been fairly experimental.

I wanted to invest in the B hydra and the framboise but I wasn’t sure about splurging on these as they are not cheap.

My SpaceNK delivery arrived!

Good skin care is worth it if it works

So I bought the littles. I didn’t want to spend the full hefty price tag so I shopped around and got £15 off SpaceNK.

I read a few reviews where people have had bad or no results. The information was always similar, try using our products exclusively at first to see how they react with your skin. So I thought I would give it a solid two weeks before I start introducing my other bits of skincare.

Drunk Elephant Littles

Night 1

So excited my sister Skyped from New Zealand so I washed my face with her. (Never done that before) I started with the cleanser,even though I new it had a funny cap I still tried to unscrew it like a normal one. The cleanser was nice, light with no smell.

First impressions was that it could not replace my Elemis Rose cleanser for luxury but it did do the job. Then I used the Framboise serum on my skin then left my skin feeling tacky but no other feeling. I added the B hydra to help it out. I added eye serum And that was it.

No 8 step double cleanse nonsense.

I was impressed with how quick and efficient it was. Ten minutes later my skin was soft and lovely!

Morning day 2

So I popped in the shower and didn’t cleanse my face. DE tell you, you don’t have too! Bonus my skin routine is not taking as long!

I applied the C Firma then the B hydra to my skin. I keep finding it tacky to the touch so I left it on whilst I cleaned my teeth. Then I put on the eye serum and manual a bit of whip to add moister. Then used my La Roche Posay SPF because you have to look after your skin.

My skin felt soft all day.

I can’t see any visible changes but my skin feels good and hydrated. So super happy.

Drunk Elephant Night Time Skincare

Night 2

Same as before, I like how nothing smells even though my favourite usual products all have amazing smells. I tried the whip tonight, it’s rich and lovely and good.

Morning 3

Same as yesterday…. except I mixed my B hydra with the C serum and bingo! OMG this was heaven. I made a noise when I but it on. I think I need this in my life!

Night 3

Same as before…..

I am going to skip a head a bit!

Night 4

I wanted to change today up a little and give my skin a break so cleansed which was lovely and then I added the virgin Marula oil to my skin. I have eaten chocolate today ( a lot of chocolate) so if I get a flair up in the next few days I have only myself to blame.

Drunk Elephant & La Roche Pose Day Care routine

Day 5

Same routine as before just no sunscreen but I did use the Whip cream. I am finding that my skin isn’t as dry as normal but as I don’t wear makeup on a day to day basis.

Two Weeks Later

I haven’t had a great week emotionally. I am a comfort eater so I have indulged in a lot of Chocolate which is terrible and my skin has hated me for it. I have had break out on my chin so I need to stop with the chocolate fix.

It fixes nothing… but a brief happiness. Damn you mint Areo and Galaxy!

So I have kept it up. My day and night routine is so simple now. The rest of my face looks okay. The texture is lovely and soft. Generally it takes 12 weeks to show actual effects.

I am going on holiday soon so I will take this skin care set with me. There is a surprising about of product in these tiny bottles. Overall I am happy with them. I do understand that I need to give them more time but there are some products I will definitely buy again and others that are just Meh!

I am going to do a breakdown of the products to let you know what I thought of them and will I be buying any bigger bottles when I run out! But as this blog is already long enough I thought that may be I can break this into two blogs.

My overall results are simple. My break outs are my own self induced fault. The weather in the UK is forever changing. Hot and sunny one day, freezing cold and Icy the next. IE not great weather conditions for your skin. I normally suffer from dry skin or get those weird patches of dry skin that come from nowhere.

My skin had been nicely hydrated. I haven’t had to layer on lots of moisturiser some nights and days I have added a bit of Whip for an added layer but most times I haven’t needed to. I don’t wear makeup so my skin has been allowed to breath.

Drunk Elephant little pouch and Sparkly French Bull dog

£70 odd pounds is not cheap for tiny bottles. But there is a lot in them. This will be great for my holiday as they don’t take up any room. My biggest gripe is the fact that in the American set you get an SPF but because of one of the products they can sell it over here. This is reflected in the price but an SPF is vital if you are selling Retinals and acids. I feel like Drunk Elephant should still put it in or make one with less harmful products.

So was it worth it…. for now yes. My skin routine is great and I am going to add the Drunk Elephants Babyfacial. I have also missed my The Ordinary Matrixyl which is amazing for shrinking pours and fine lines. So I am going to keep going till after my holiday. Then I am going to start introducing other brands back into my skin care routine. I feel like i should give the DE time to work on its own first!

I do miss my Elemis Rose Balm cleanser. I miss the smell and the feel of it on my skin! Drunk Elephant is a luxury brand but without the smells and decadence of other Brands. My skin for the first time in a long time is hydrated without piling on the moisturiser.

I will review each product in another blog.. I am sorry I missed Wednesdays blog. Like I said it hasn’t been a great week. I will bring the Product review out shortly to make up for it.!

How is your skincare journey going?

What brands couldn’t you live without?

Productive Week wedding Planning

Advice, Organising, Planning, Wedding

Its very rare that I have a brilliant week in one go. But this week has been super productive already.

We have we have ticked off

  • Booked food vendor
  • Chosen menu
  • Booked our cake tasting
  • Closer to booking the entertainment
  • I purchased some wonderful Drunk Elephant skincare to try
  • Found a local hair salon to help me get rid of my weird blond streaks
  • Arranged a space for myself ( blog to follow
Monthly spread for Bullet journal

Here is a truth universally acknowledged in the world of wedding vendors…

Sometimes they don’t get back to you.

Because they are super busy and have a million weddings before you.

You will physically have to chase them. We have done it with both the entertainment and the food. Now just to reassure you reader, I don’t mean stalk and harass. I just mean email them, call them follow it up with another email… all over the space of a few months. We really want our guests to have an amazing time, so food and music is really important to us.

And they still don’t get back…. honestly the food was worth the wait and I think our guests from all over will be super happy with the food.

The entertainment are reluctant to book with us until 6 months before but they pencilled us in. This scares us only because if they turn around and cant work our wedding we will have to search for someone else, and the first one I wanted were already booked! This band is Gavs first choice and we both agree they suit us perfectly and they already do an amazing version of our song! ( hence the reason why I let him pick his over mine).

Our food vendors where just busy, thy are getting more and more popular but honestly I could eat there food everyday and be happy.

It can just be frustrating when your to do list is a million miles long and you just want to tick them all off.

Soho Bun House

A good week

The week started off on Sunday with a gorgeous meal at the Soho Bun House, where in the restaurant they don’t serve buns but the food was so good we didn’t care! My uni friends like to meet up monthlyish to catch up. We all love eating and drinking (slight understatement we get super excited about trying new places)

The boys went off to a gig and we decide to stay out for one more and visit Basement Sate which Gav had been raving about for months. It didn’t disappoint. Even though i am a huge gin drinker I just love a gin and tonic I don’t need a gin cocktail. I like to taste the gin. My taste buds always head toward whiskey cocktails, Old-fashions etc. The After Slate was beyond yummy.

Being Grateful

Last week I wrote a post about being grateful and pre-thanking people. I think it is so easy to forget the person you are marrying.

Gav loves to tease me constantly. Most of our conversation are spoken with a grin on his face because he is about to take the piss out of me. Its all in good humour but sometimes it gets a bit much.

Then I remember how thoughtful and kind he is. How wonderful he can be. We had a bit of personal good news this week and so to celebrate he picked up some Chinese pork buns from Soho Bun House ( which we missed out on last time). had a feast at home.

We don’t celebrate Valentines Day, ever.

It just doesn’t interest me or him so we don’t we just like to spend it together.

Goals for Feb in Bullet Journal

Round Up

I can’t tell you happy I am that I can tick these things of the list. It just feels so productive. What we realised after such a good week is that we have all the major elements complete. We now need to focus on the detailed bits.

Wedding planning can be stressful not like other things in life but still stressful. Lack of communication from everyone! Difference of opinion on details. I think when people say its not stressful they have already forgotten how much effort they put into a wedding.

There is also a massive difference when your venue is all inclusive and not like ours where we just have the space and have to bring in everything we want.

But it will be wonderful and we cant wait.

Thank you for joining me on our wedding journey.

Being grateful: A Pre thank you

Flowers, Organising, Wedding, Wedding Budget

I am trying to prethank all my wedding party for what they are about to do, or have already done for me. Weddings can cause rifts and there is nothing like a wedding to bring out the worst in people.

I have a wonderful team of Danettes family and friends who have offered to help and I am taking them up on it. And quite frankly I don’t want to piss them off and appear ungrateful!

So this week, as a prethank you I took my mum, mother in law and sister in law out to a posh restaurant for a slap up feast. They have already done so much for me Gavin and the wedding and there are 7 months to go!! I know we will be asking a lot more of them especially their time and opinions.


My mum was only here for a few days but she was a whirlwind of help and answers. She trained as a florist so disapproved of a few of my choice ( apparently no to pink and yelllow). But I love them together so she obliged.

She ummed and arrrd over the flower arrangements which half way through, I was like perfect, next! But she took her time and it did look really beautiful when she finished. She was happy, even with my yellow ( freesias are her favourite) so I knew she would give in!

Budget savings

I refuse to pay for vases but she was impressed with my array of jam jars thank you Dowe Egberts and your perfect coffee jars! Plus my mother in law kindly donated a lot of golden syrup jars perfect!

My table runners slightly scared Hayley and mum at first till we set it out but honestly I think the whole thing will look beautiful!

Granny Donelly wisdom ” suits the wearer not the starer”

I am going to do the rounds and make sure everyone understands how much I appreciate there help and input!

My best friend has always been my rock since I was 14 we have been thick as thieves! I am thinking of ways to thank them before I become a wedding zombie focused on all the details. She is off to Madrid for hen do planning, how crazy is that.

I need to plan something special for just us!


Being thankful and grateful is easy but it is also easy to think our friends and family know how much we appreciate their help. Some times they need to hear it! I am trying to do this so if I do get a bit crazy, they will understand I am out of character.

I refuse to be a bridezilla! But that doesn’t mean she won’t show herself every now and then!

So that’s it,

My little Friday blog.

Hope you enjoyed it!

I need Shelp! Wedding Shoe search continues

Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding Budget

Yes I spelt it right, I need Shelp. Shoe help!

I want a beautiful pair of shoes to walk up the isle in, twice. At the moment the law doesn’t acknowledge humanist ceremony as legal which means I have to get married twice.

This does not make me happy, except I have bought both dresses and I love them equally.

Jimmy Choos Roma

Two Shoes

So now I may need two pairs of shoes!

Two you say, yes two. I need heals for the legal bit. Something gorgeous and star of the show. I want something flat or wedge for the actual wedding day. I want something I can wear all day! Something pretty. Sparkly.. not too sure.

I don’t mind a designer shoe but I am not going to turn my nose up at a high street shoe either. I am a budget bride after all.

Marks and Spenser shoes

I said from the beginning that I would rather have a beautiful pair of shoes than a super expensive wedding dress. An accessory I can wear again and again and take away on honeymoon.

So I went to shoe heaven

Have you been?

It’s a bit of a maze but it has all the pretty shoes.

The staff are really helpful and attentive. These are expensive shoes but oh so pretty.

I didn’t find any I loved except the Aquazzura Pom Pom shoes that they had in black and the wrong height! They are so beautiful, sexy and a wee bit too high. My mum loved them.

So I searched online and it looks like they are no longer available in my size.

Just look at them! I have to move on or scour Vestier for my perfect shoes. One thing I love about them that I didn’t know was the brands logo is a Pineapple which suits me to a t!

They are sold out- i have myself on a fair few waiting lists and watching Vestiaire like a hawk. We will see.

So now I need Shelp!

And I am getting it from one of my Danettes. She happens to be a shoemaker/ designer who worked for the RSC and ROH in the shoe department. Sourcing and making shoes.

I told you I picked my BMs well.

She has given me lots of options already but has told me not to rush!

So even though I would like them tucked away in their box, ready for me to break them in before the big day!

I will have to wait and except some more Shelp!

Sophia Webster shoes

Hunt continues

Here is what I am looking for

  • Not too high ( less than 3 inches)
  • Comfortable
  • Peep toes or closed toes
  • No black/ red
  • Up for glitter and colour

How is your shoe hunt going?

Hello Reader

Advice, Organising, Planning, Wedding

Thank you for reading my little blog, where I rant and praise in equal measure. I love my blog, it is my little burgeoning baby. I wish I could spend some more time on it.

So I was thinking ofdoing a little Wednesday catch up to let you know how the planning is going andthen Fridays will be my longer blogs.

Yes that’s right I am going to try and write two a week. Even though I am struggling to find time to write one. I feel like I really need to focus on this as it is something I really care about.

So, Wednesday’s format will be a little like this.

Humpday Blogging

I had my mum over this week to help me with the wedding bits. I basically had 4 perfect days with her.

We shopped, talked non-stop, watched a boring movie, shopped some more, picked out flowers I liked and had a play with my table settings. I got my paints out and started the wedding invites, yay. We also ate out a fair bit which we loved!

Things I still need to chase

  • Food vendors ( the food is so good but communication isn’t that great)
  • Book foodtasting with plan B
  • Hair and makeup- getting prices and planning trial
  • Order table cloths and napkins (Charlotte I need your help)
  • Changed my mind on Jimmy Choos….
  • Chased konditor and Cook ( first time being a bridezilla I may have to call them)
  • Perfect invites

This is just what I need to sort out this week. My list is super long but we had a sit down and a chat about what we actually need opposed to all the silly thing we thought we needed.

Gavin piece of advice is “Always marry a Payet, they are cheap and easily pleased!”

I think that that was a complement, shame it took him so long (he he).  He doesn’t have an appreciation for flowers and when I told my mum that I love white carnations and British flowers, i am not after anything fancy. Luckily its one area that I have complete freedom on. My mum is trying to convince me that tea roses would look nice so they may be making a debut at the wedding but won’t be the star of the show.

I need to get some storage for the wedding. We aren’t using half of the dining room and most of it can be packed away as long as it is all properly recorded in my wedding Bullet Journal, I will be happy.

Organising makes me happy.

I found out recently that my best friend is so amazing she is flying out to Madrid to do some hen do prep. Madrid is so incredibly beautiful that it is no hardship to visit it but she is going above and beyond. I just hope she is utilising the other highly talented Danettes in the group.

So thats its, a mini blog to help us on our Humpday!

Hope you like it.