Advice

I almost made my own wedding dress!

Advice, Wedding

Can you believe that two years ago I sat down and considered making my own wedding dress. I thought it would a, save me money and b, be an amazing achievement.

I can sew. I trained in theatre design and part of that was making costumes. I had a pretty in pink moment were I turned a 60s wedding dress into a Victorian wedding dress Mrs Havershem style. So I know I could do it.

Not that I have picked up my sewing machine to sew anything trickier than curtains.

But I considered it,

I started looking at material and trainings and I was even contemplating embroidery and bead work.

Because I know I can do it but would I.

I decided I didn’t want the pressure and although I was probably being ambitious with the whole idea I know that I probably wouldnt finish it.

So I googled how to buy a wedding dress.

The thing about wedding is normally you only plan one once!! So it’s not like you have any information or really know how to do things. Which is why it is so easy to miss something off.

But I didn’t go wedding dress shopping.

I bought one from the high street and I honestly wouldn’t have wanted anything else. It was perfect. Especially when beck lent me her veil which just made it look even better!

I love my dress it didn’t need to be fitted or taken in.

Regrets about the wedding

Advice, Wedding

It was a pretty perfect day to be honest! I don’t have many regrets at all.

The weather and food was perfect and the music was awesome from start to finish!

Our friends and family all seemed happy and had a wonderful time. All the effort that was put in was well worth it. It looked amazing!

A few things….

A few silly things that had no baring on the day but I wish I could change.

I wish we hadn’t stressed as much as we did. There were a few arguments over seating plans and other silly stuff which actually didn’t matter at all.

I wish I had gathered my danettes together to give them their boxes before hair and makeup began. I bought them all hair slides and we had to open the box to give them the hair slides to put in their hair! It wasn’t important just I wish I had thought it through.

Ghosting

I wish I had had a pint. There was a lot of booze and Ghost Ship is one of my favourite ales. Gavin wished we had made a sign to tell everyone it was Ghostship. I would have loved a picture with me and a pint!

We had amazing sunny weather but when it set it was pretty cold. Luckily we had the fire pit and we bought some blankets ,then guests took to them back to their tents so they all got used!

Oh that’s a regret I wish I had bought warmer pjs! I was so cold in the tent even though we had layers of blankets! But we didn’t care. The day was wonderful and I can’t wait to share the rest with you.

The cake

Our cake was gorgeous and tasted well the best! But it was a bit neglected in styling and if I had gone back I would have asked Charlotte to dress it up with a few flowers. It wasn’t that important but as we spent a few pennies on it it would have been nice to decorate it a bit more. The taste was the best so that all that matters!

So not many changes!

That’s pretty much it. No one wore white or denim that I saw!! Ha ha but I was worried. The day ran pretty smoothly. The ceremony was my favourite bit, as it should be.

It was honestly the best day of my life.

Legally tying the knot

Advice, curly hair, Wedding

So on Tuesday the 10th we legally tied the knot.

Oh my

We are now husband and wife. Everything is exactly the same I just get to call him my husband and I love doing it! He is my husband. I revel in this. Gavin has been a big part of my heart and life for so long that it is so wonderful to call him my husband.

So the legal bit.

This was supposed to be just the 4 of us but it did turn into immediate family plus a few friends. I didn’t mind but Gavin wanted to keep it small but then he added a few friends and it grew.

We had a perfect day.

Preparation

Kelly from lipstick and curls came over and did my hair and make up. I loved my dress and shoes but as I am still struggling to walk in such high heels I did have to pop a a pair of Primark pumps on my feet.

I felt wonderful my hair was up twisted and plaited exactly what I wanted and Kelly just worked her magic and created something even more beautiful. I even managed to pop a few home grown Dahlias in my hair.

I made this button hole for Gavin using the same flowers!

My sister stayed over so I wouldnt be alone as Gav being traditional would not stay the night.

So we got up, ate breakfast, walked frank and got ready.

Then we headed down to London on the train and the overground.

Little did I know Gavin was on the same train just a few carriages down trying to avoid me!

My family met in the the Vineyard where I met the very fabulous Ania who treated me and my family like a friend. She was wonderful and we can’t wait to see the photos.

Then we headed to the town hall.

The legal bit

Now we didn’t want any fuss because the legal side of our wedding wasn’t the bit we were interested in however we didn’t really have a first moment.

There was no really first look and we had to wait all together before we went in.

The registrars at Islington we’re warm, welcoming and personable. They ran a very lovely ceremony and we didn’t feel rushed at all.

I had forgotten to pay the rest of the payment so Gavin had to pop down and pay it but it wasn’t awkward they were really sweet about it.

And we got married.

The ceremony was actually lovely and I laughed and cried at the same time. My hands were in Gavs because I was shaking a bit!

It doesn’t really feel real and I have waited a long time to be his wife.

These are a few of my favourite photos from outside but we will get some more from our photographer later on.

Photos

So Ania led us of to the Islington back streets where all the cool coffee shops and boutiques and restaurants loiter.

It managed to be quintessentially British old fashioned and modern at the same time. So it was pretty perfect.

Also the weather was gorgeous. On the Monday we had torrential rain but on the Tuesday is was heavenly. While we were talking a few photos our family’s had headed off to the pub for a drink and then we joined them for a yummy meal at the Drapers Arms!

All in all it was a perfect day!

We had a few more pints then headed home there was lots of wedding bits still to do organise but it was a lovely legal wedding.

The stress has eased and now I am just grateful

Advice, Personal Experience, Planning, self care

I feel better now

I do

I have been having a few rants and stresses lately. I know when family get involved it can all get a bit much but it’s important to know that they are here for you.

Mine have been amazing

And when I say my family that also includes my friends and people that are in my life.

I have said before that me and Gavin are very different. He hates excluding people and always feels like the bigger the better. He also welcomes new friends into his life all the time. I never have to worry about being late because Gav will have made a friend at the bar or on the way in.

He is so welcoming and I am but not as much. I don’t go out of my way to make new friends because the friendships I have had for years are so precious to me. I don’t get to spend enough time with them so without being horrible I don’t need more friends.

I hold them close to my heart and I would do anything for them. And I know that they would do the same.

The stress has eased. It may have to do with the fact that we have got a lot done. The list has halved. Things have been ordered and arrived and there are just a few makes left to do.

Monday is a prep day

Tuesday is a family day

Wednesday is when I completed the seating plan

Thursday is organise the house day

Friday is set up day

Saturday is the day

It’s almost here and it’s too late to worry about things that are out of my control.

Dear Mother Nature please don’t rain!!

My friends and family are banding around to make this day magical for me and Gavin. I took out my mother in law and mum for a prethankyou so that they would know how much there roles in my life mean to me.

I am feeling really grateful that one, Gav decided to marry me and two, that my friends and family are here to support me and Gavin.

Because we need it.

We need them here with us. I am starting to get excited now!

Today I ate my feelings

Advice, Personal Experience

I know there is no point getting stressed getting worried about the never ending list won’t solve anything and nor will eating my feelings

I thought I would be better at this.

Dealing with the stress.

Being organised.

It turns out when it comes to wedding planning, I am definitely a dysfunctional planner. I feel like I have left everything to the last moment and now its all getting on top of me.

I am lucky that I don’t suffer with anxiety. I have dark moments and blue days but nothing like the crippling anxiety I know that so many people struggle with day to day.

Except at the moment it here.

A lead weight in my chest. A dark hole in my brain that wants to shut down rather than get active.

I may just be tired, physically.

I know there is no point in getting stressed. I am actually on top of things and I still have a few weeks to go. 3 infact. And I can accomplish a lot in those weeks. Especially as the last one I am not at work at all.

But today I was quiet all day and I got so many side glances at work I knew they thought something wasn’t quite right.

Compulsive eater: saga of eating my feelings

Today I ate my feelings in the shape of Krispy Kremes. The first was a treat. The second was pure indulgence and the third was me dissolving into myself. Filling that void with pure sugar and eating it so quickly no one, not even myself could stop me. I crammed that thing into my mouth and it didn’t change a thing. I don’t enjoy it and I didn’t regret it.

Whenever I am angry or sad I crave bad food, today was not different except I am not sad but numb.

Numb and stuck.

I went to the gym for an hour this morning and then I destroyed my calorie intake in 9 bites.

I have support.

Every time I even hint I am stressed I am inundated with friends and family offering support and physical help.

I know what I need to do.

But I am stuck inside my own head and it’s a very quiet grey haunted place. To quote Bono

Stuck in the middle and you can’t get out of it

I will go home tonight, cook dinner and achieve a few wedding bits.

I will get a lovely puppy greeting and cuddle. A kiss from my fiancé a discussion about food and drink. Watch a few episodes of My Kitchen Rules Australia and Great British Bake off. I will read a bit of my new book as I tuck myself away for an early night at 10pm.

Pull my socks up and get on with it but it’s there.

tomorrow I will probably be fine before the next bout of anxiety nibbles away at me.

I am only writing this out loud because if anyone else is in the same situation then they should know that even though people don’t speak about it much it happens a lot.

Like I said before I don’t normally suffer from it all. I am truly blessed in that my mental health is pretty, well healthy.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, does every bride go through this?

Advice

I am not ashamed to admit I had a little cry at work last week. Time is ticking by and there is still a lot of things to organise.

It is easy to say that I am feeling a little overwhelmed and stress is the cause. A proper first world problem but still a problem.

Does every bride and groom go through this?

I am guessing it’s a yes, unless everything is being dealt with by a wedding planner then anyone in the same situation as us will be.

Because our site is a field we have to organise everything, everything! It’s not hard it just means we have to be organised and I feel like it’s all on my shoulders but it’s not.

Gav is doing his fair share! I am on top of the majority of my DIY makes and the majority of them look great. But the amount of little jobs that I can’t really hand out.

Still so much to do

All the little jobs are adding up now and I have had a lot of friends reach out and ask me what they can do to help.

I have taken them up on it.

I said at the beginning that when people offer help it really is because they want to help and be a part of it.

I called my dad. Mainly because I miss him and to ask when he is arriving. I told him I was stressed. His first words were

“Why are you stressed?

What can I do to help?”

I love my dad. He just said the exact right thing. I had been talking to my sister in law about a few things. Asked my mum to bring over the cheese ( she lives in France!!!) and am chatting to my sister a lot.

Alexa rallied them all up and had a chat with them. Then we all pulled our socks up and got on with it. I am very proud to be a PAYET! We are all awesome.

Family help

I have support in all sides. Gavs family is here when ever I need them and We have already involved them at every stage. Papa smurf my father in law has actually made me a fair few props and they have come out so well that I may ask him to make a few more!

Stress

I don’t want to be stressed on our wedding day! I just want to enjoy it. I have been looking forward to this moment my whole adult life and some of my childhood too ( thank you Disney).

I just wish my family were a bit closer than the other side of the equator!!

because I organise events as part of my job I did think it would be a lot easier. It isn’t really difficult there is just a lot to manage. But we have 4 weeks now.

So I made a big list.

A super list

And already I have crossed things off!

The importance of a canapé: food issues

Advice, food, Wedding

So having been a wedding guest a few hundred times, kidding, I know how important it is to feed your guests! A happy guest is a happy wedding.

Pretty sure the number one complaint from your wedding guests are that they are hungry, cold or thirsty! They are basic things that should always be covered. Everything else is just about timing.

For us

We are getting married outside whether is rains or not! So when it comes to our guests they will wrap up accordingly. When it comes to our bridal party we need to look after them!

The weather we don’t have any control over but drink and food we do! Weddings in the UK are usually at lunch time which means that you may have a big breakfast but from then to the wedding breakfast is normally a good 5 hours. I have been know to put a few snacks in my hand bag.

Now I have had amazing canapés ( friggin steak which melted in the mouth) quails eggs dipped in Bloody Mary salt! I still dream about those canapés and I have had weird ones, as well as no canapés.

When you are hungry and waiting it is so important to feed your guests and keep them happy. Like a nice glass of pimms and a cold beer! Lovely!

Because we are hiring a food truck we don’t really have the option for canapés so we still need to feed our guests without filling them up.

Cold food is going to be the easiest choice but deciding on that has been tricky.

I refuse not to serve canapés and Gav agrees. I hate it when you sit down and they is a tiny bit delicious warm roll and you devour it before your starter comes.

Speeches drag if you don’t have happy guests.

Getting the right balance is hard! You want them with a drink in their hand but not drunk! You want them to have rated something but not full.

You want happy guests who can focus on enjoying the day without complaining that they are hungry or tired or dying for drink!