Dysfunctional Planner

I heard this on Ferne Cottons podcast the happy place and it made me think. Can I, am I? Am I okay at things in my life what are my strengths? What do I love that I am okay at.

When it comes to art I know I am not the best. I know that if I sit down and draw, and draw my work improves. It’s a passion but I don’t give it enough time. I don’t draw enough I don’t paint enough. I didn’t get into Uni so I am feeling less than average at the moment.

But maybe being okay at being average will make me happy.

Maybe I am average and I am happy but am I excelling at it? Maybe my average is some else’s success. I need to put things into perspective.

I have never had big dreams of being famous ( no thank you) nor being a millionaire. I have had dreams and in them I was always successful but that never meant being at the very top maybe just a mid place. It just meant having a nice house and garden( which I have) lovely holidays ( which I have) a loving supporting partner ( which I have). A career that I love ( which I need). A successful blog ( which I am working on).

That doesn’t sound that average to me.

I am surrounded by successful women excelling at life and work. It’s lovely to see. I need my own income I do not like relying on my husband for money or for judging my spending. At the moment I am still using my savings but I don’t like that.

On paper my life looks pretty great to me, when I start my new career and top up my savings I will feel more validated. Proud of myself and content in my life. I am trying to appreciate and be more grateful everyday.

So maybe my life isn’t average.

But if it is I really want to excel at it and be happy with it.