Dysfunctional Planner

What gives you direction in life?

I am not sure I have any direction at the moment. I may be a tiny bit bored sometimes but in general I am content.

I guess I am a little lost.

Working in retail I always craved to work up into the creative section but now I work in admin so I have no idea how to move up.

I know what I don’t want.

I like that I can fill my time out of work with friends family and gardening. I feel good that I never have to work weekends again. I am focused on saving money so I can go to nice places and we are trying to pay off our mortgage in the next 10 years rather than the 24 we have left.

I lost my ambition a few years ago, I guess when I didn’t get into Uni to complete my MA. followed by cancer.

My direction is always moving forward, always improving our lives, what I grow, what we eat, new recipes etc. but it’s not ambitious anymore. Do I want to go up in local council? Maybe but only if it’s in a different direction like green spaces.

I watched an old couple get off the bus, he was frail and reached for her hand. I almost sobbed. I guess after my husband’s cancer things changed. This year could have been very different. I could be without him.

So maybe my directions have changed.

Maybe instead of planning so far a head I just want to do the few days and weeks.

I still set goals but they are not really a direction.

Is it just me or aren’t we all a little lost?