Dysfunctional Planner

We are off to Brighton for the weekend. Just two days with our friends, dogs and we can’t wait. It’s our first mini break in a long time and quite frankly we need it. Something different to do and if we go back into lockdown then at least we have had a bit of a break.

It will involve a hot tub which I am dreading as my belly has a belly at the moment. I had to buy a new swimming costume in my current size which I didn’t want to waste too much money I broke my resolution and bought a new costume at Primark. Now my main issue with Primark is the people in Bangladesh, India, Sri Lanka, Vietnam, Pakistan and China ( and more) that aren’t paid well and when Covid-19 struck Primark cancelled its orders with the factories and didn’t support their workers. ( apparently they did a U-turn but it’s all a bit murky) You can read about it more here.

It’s something I really don’t want to support.

I will never and have never treated any clothes as fast fashion. I pretty much keep everything, I look after my clothes and they last. I do, however, don’t like that primark encourages fast fashion and doesn’t care about its workers or landfill.

It doesn’t sit well with me.

I mainly buy second hand now, it’s very rare that I buy new clothes, as I am not working I don’t need them. But the coast is calling and if I swim in the sea or brave the hot tub I did need a new swimming costume ( that fits) and I don’t want to invest in something that I hopefully won’t need forever but I can get the most out of it. I can pop it in my summer drawer so if I do gain weight again I will have a costume that fits me.

It’s a strange place to be, I don’t want a second hand costume, I also don’t have money to splurge, I don’t want to support Primark but I also need a costume. So I shopped around and ended up buying a black and white striped costume which fits nicely and I can still use it on my weight loss journey. It’s cute and classic and from Primark.

So I am okay with my costume, still need to get to grips with my lack of body confidence because I currently hate my belly. Taking off my clothes infront of my friends is not something I want to do but at least it will be for a few moments before we get in the bubbles.

I know I shouldn’t be hard on myself.

I know I should be confident but it hard to get out of my own head.