Since we have gotten engaged I am an emotional mess, plain and simple.
I cry pretty much every time I think about our wedding. From reading my blogs you may think that I am a mess all the time, what with waiting to get engaged. I appear to be crying constantly. I want to be able to control it or risk having photos of me, an ugly crier.
When I think about…
…My dad walking me down the aisle
…My mum seeing me in my dress
…Seeing Gavin for the first time
…. reciting our own vows
Writing this, tears are filling my eyes. (come on Dans grrr)
I don’t want to cry… is this a bride to be hormonal issue?
Do lots of brides feel this surge of emotion?
When my sister in-law got married we could see her getting overwhelmed. She looked so beautiful and was so happy but we could see the emotional tide surging against her. The photographer told her to take a big breath or she was going to miss it and get swept away with her very real emotions. She would miss the little bits, the joys the laughter she needed to focus. So she took a big breath and had pretty happy tears in her eyes for her first set of group photos.
She looked stunning
I don’t want to miss my wedding because my face is all scrunched up and on a purely selfish not I don’t want to mess up my makeup.
So I am trying a few steps.
Pinching my fingers, tilting my head up and trying to smile through it.
Plus, I will be wearing waterproof mascara and hopefully as light a makeup as will make me look good.
The thing is this emotional nonsense means that is not just my wedding I cry at but adverts, old couples holding hands in the street, the news at ten drowns me in tears the Huffington post kills me. It seems I have changed to a weeping wreck from happy go lucky person.
I probably wont cry at all, I will be one of these brides that laugh at their partners as they weep. But it is still freaking me out.
I, like most women am an ugly crier, blotchy , scrunched up face my eyes completely disappear and I generally resemble a butternut squash. Maybe my mantra should be Pumpkin face and then I can just focus on that. I do not want to become and emotional mess.
Its like Gav has flipped a switch in me and now I cry at everything.
I have been thinking about walking down the aisle and I think an upbeat song may get me through. I have 3 I am thinking about, two are romantic and one is upbeat but means a lot. Maybe I just need to stop focusing on guessing how I am going to react and just go with the flow.
I am British, I believe in pulling up your socks and just getting over it.
Try not to cry and just enjoy the day I have waited so long to enjoy.
If you have any tips on not crying then please let me know I would love to hear from you.