Giving up Pinterest

There comes a time in every brides life when they have to stop looking on Pinterest and giving it up completely.

I love wedding blogs I read them on my lunch breaks, bus ride home. Commuting means a few minutes of wedding planning a day. I read them mainly for advice from real brides rather than companies repeating generic shit.

Pinterest crazy

I had about four wedding boards filled with completely different weddings including Harry Potter wedding, a zombie wedding, if I had all the money in the world wedding and the dream wedding! I loved them I poured my hopes and dreams into them. Then a few years ago when I thought that it was never going to happen I deleted them.

I felt like they were mocking me.

Perfect brides with happy faces.

Gone.

Now that I am engaged and am much happier I started my boards again.

I still have a few boards but I have had to cut them down and now I have to stop looking.

A great source

In the first few months I started lovingly filling my boards. The wedding dress was the most stressful, as I said the prices of my perfect dress where way out of my budget.

But the worse thing was the excess! Do I need milk jugs filled with flowers?

Um no, I am not milkmade and sadly was not brought up on a farm. Don’t get me started on Prosecco walls ( it’s called a waiter!!!) donut walls etc etc.

Looking at peoples weddings is great but you don’t need anything that isn’t perfect for you.

You don’t need it!

I don’t need it!

Too many ideas and no clean message!

Pinterest is a great dream to escape into

I still have a private board for my final thoughts but now I don’t go searching for ideas.

Me and Gavin are getting married even without all fluff and stuff!

No this blog shouldn’t contradict with the details blog because that is all about personal things to us!

Have what you want at your wedding. if you need acrylic table plans and hand calligraphered quartz name tags and it’s in your budget then go for it.

Just don’t do it because it’s a trend on Pinterest!

Downside of Pinterest

There is a downside to inspiration and that is achieving the same results within your budget. I have heard of brides you have spent 20k on an Instagram worthy wedding for 40 people!

Great if that’s what she wants! But it’s such a lot of money for one day!

The other downside is people not linking there photos to original sources!

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I have no idea what brand these shoes are. If you know please let me know!

For example I love these shoes!

Can’t find where they are from!

If you know please tell me, I have tried googling, eBay but I don’t know what brand or what country they are from.

I love them but I may never find them.

Pinterest is a great place for dreaming but you don’t need to get bogged down by it, or hyped up by it!

For me it is time to give up Pinterest! I don’t need any more ideas in my head!

Achieve what you want within your budget and time limit!

Enjoy

High Street wedding Dress: Missing out on the “Dress” Experience

So I bought my dress from the high street and I love it but I don’t know if I am missing out on that magical feeling. Where you stand in front of your family and they cry happy tears whilst sipping on ice cold bubbles.

I have missed this bit out.

I love this dress.

It is beautiful and magical and suits me to a tee!

I am in no doubt about the dress and when I showed my family they said they had no idea what it would be like but that it was perfect for me.

It is perfect.

I feel like working in women’s retail all those years ago means that I can always know if something is going to suit my body. I was right and even thought the UK 10 fits me when I loose more weight it will look so much better.

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Photo by Bryan Schneider on Pexels.com

Weight Loss Update

I am doing really well at the moment.

I feel less pressure to lose weight because the dress already fits but I know I will look better if I keep working on it.

I have lost and kept off 6lbs and feel amazing for it. Although I am not skinny and still have about 6lbs to go I can see the difference. Mainly on my wobbly stomach that’s doesn’t wobble as much.

I am still calorie counting but the biggest change has been my snacking habits. It turns out my idle hands have been reaching for the chocolate! As a compulsive eater I generally ban bad foods from my home but they always sneak in! But being busy in the evenings means that I am no longer snacking.

My dress will look even better with with this weight gone and I will be thrilled if I have to take my dress in but won’t be too disappointed if I don’t.

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Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

Will I Be Missing Out

I mentioned the magical feeling at the start of the blog. I am talking about trying on the dress, the reveal, finding the one!!!

Except I have found it, it is beautiful and didn’t cost the earth.

When I asked my married Bridesmaids they said that they paid a lot of money but didn’t think it was that amazing experience in a shop. There were other brides in the same room and it felt exposed. Not the experience they were hoping for.

I feel much better now after talking to them.

I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything.

Plus Becky plied me with lots of bubbles and lent me her veil. So it felt wonderful to be with the people I love who love the dress. When i showed my sister the dress her first words were “ask Becky, she will tell you if its right!” and she did and does thinks its right. She even shed a few tears.

I think there is a lot of pressure to have this perfect experience in all aspects of wedding planning. the perfect £2000 dress, the perfect £4000 worth of flowers. I have said about weddings being within your means. We have a house so we don’t need to save for a deposit but that doesn’t mean we should go to crazy on the day. I dont want to waste money frivolously. It is one day.

We have invested in out Bridal party as they mean so much to us.

My dress is perfect and cost a fraction of what I was planning on spending on my budget. I am so happy with my high street purchase. I didn’t think i would get so lucky with it. It has lovely vintage vibes to it!

Just a few more pounds and it will fit like a dream!

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Shoe Heaven

I had to send a video to my mum of me trying on the dress which is a bit sad. When she comes over I will show my mum and Gavin’s mum. This dress is mine now. The exciting bit is we are going to Shoe Heaven  and will try on all the pretty shoes. I will take my family for pedicures then shoe trying on. I have my eye on some Jimmy Choos but I will pick what ever I fancy. I wont go sky scraper high as I would like to wear them again but also at 5″7 I am already tall. Then after that we will go for lunch some where lovely.

I will make a day of it so i will have a magical experience just over something i can wear again!

Did you buy a high street or second hand wedding dress?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Wedding Rant: Rules to abide by or don’t bother coming

I truly believe that you should make your wedding what you want it. This is my wedding rant brought on by a certain person hinting that they were wearing white to our wedding. I have always followed the no white at a wedding rule. I think its only fair. That include cream and other colours similar to white. I just won’t do it and think its tasteless. If you want your guests in jeans and white dresses then fine have them.

HOWEVER

If you have not said people can arrive at your wedding in white or jeans then never ever assume its going to be okay. I know you are paying to be there but weddings cost money so please take this opportunity to dress up not down.

My personal opinion

If you really want to wear white or jeans then don’t bother coming. If you can’t be bothered to make an effort for a day that means so much to the people that have invited you then why bother.

Now I am not saying that you can’t wear a nice cream/ white blazer or smart trousers etc not everyone has to wear a dress then that’s acceptable and if you are an evening guest then there really are no rules for dress code.

Accessories are also fine!

But

If you wear a white, cream ivory or champagne dress lacy or not then please don’t turn up to my wedding. I have seen so many women at weddings looking like a bride wannabe and it is always unmarried girls/women doing that.

Just make the effort

Its one day, their day, honour them and don’t wear white. As for denim I am going to say the same thing. Its one day, get your trousers out purlease.

The wedding couple go to the trouble of making/ designing an invite. Generally, there is a nod to the wedding colours on it. So if the invite is in, say white and pale green then the bridesmaids will be wearing pale green. If you don’t want to look like a bridesmaids, again don’t wear the colours.

I am not having a colour them so as long as its not white or denim I really don’t mind what you wear.

I don’t think you have a right to tell people what to wear but I do think these are just a given.

Sorry, you won’t change my mind!

Do I think that people are going to take away from me in my white dress?

Nope

Do I think that people are going to be confused who the bride is?

Absolutely not

But common curtesy is just that. I also don’t agree with cutting you nails out side your own home. Standing on the right of an escalator (there are signs people). People watching their phones without head phones. Tutting when people ask you to move your bag (it must be really tired to need a seat on its own?)

I just think that manner are manners.

And unspoken rules should be respected unless specified otherwise.

France, Mum, Food and Wedding Talk

My mum is my biggest cheerleader. She is impressed by pretty much everything I do which is great and much needed when you are feeling blue. France is one of my homes, her home. An army brat learns to make a home where ever they can!

This little blog is just about me and my mum, France, food and a bit of wedding talk. Hope you enjoy!

Lazy me

When I get to Jarnac I turn into loungy French me. I swan around the house drinking Kronenburg, nibbling of french bread and Port Salut. I am happy as Larry coming back home to France.

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We normally don’t stray to far from Jarnac as my breaks to see my mum are all about relaxation and family not travelling frantically about. We normally end up on the veranda, have big life talks or curled up at night on the sofa chatting nonsense.

Until my parents moved to France I didn’t think of it as a holiday destination which is crazy. I think for couples France is so romantic, chateaus, champagne and amazing food. France doesn’t have to cost a fortune and from Britain it is just a short flight.

Most people tend to go straight to Paris, the French Alps or the south of France and they miss out on all the beautiful cities and towns in between. If you want a relaxing, meandering, brocante filled long weekend then visit France.

I spent a long time on the lawn sipping passion fruit gin and tonics going through my mums floristry books. It so peaceful and beautiful.

All the weight gaining alcohol

This trip was a lovely lazy trip. We went to a vineyard and picked up Cognac Champagne which if you are ever in the area you must try. It is delicious and very rare even in the area. I bought all their stock they had left which was two bottles!

Yum.

My mother is kindly supplying our toasting Champagne from a local vineyard and we cant wait. It is light and not bitter at all, we had it at my brothers wedding in proper champagne glasses ( which I wont be having: tiniest gripe).

All the yummy food

Mum has been learning more french recipes and Eggs Mimosa  is definitely my new favourite. This was one of the best lunches of all time, light and refreshing and enough left overs that I could have it for tea the next day.

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We went to a few restaurants and had amazing steak at both! our aperitif was a lovely Cognac Schweppes.

Although my mum is a wee bit stressed about making my bouquet everything else she is really relaxed about. She cant wait. We had a slightly stressful conversation about the legal part of our ceremony which I am still annoyed about. Annoyed that I have a legal ceremony not the fact that she was talking about it.

It has kind of grown from two people to immediate family but hey, thats okay. It just means our super fancy meal at the Holborn Dining rooms will be at a great affordable London Pub instead.

My sister referenced Kate Winslet’s wedding and I said yes, just like that! Well we all know I love Marianne in Sense and Sensibility!

We also talked about Videographer’s and prices and my brother suggested that I stop focusing on creating these magical Youtube moments and just pay someone to capture the whole day. I think he was right and me and Gav discussed it and we are now just looking for someone to capture our day.

Nothing Fancy

Just withing our budget.

And that’s what I need to focus on. Not creating a stupid Pinterest wedding I need to create a beautiful wedding for me and Gav. A moment in time when our friends and family can drink and be merry.

That’s what we are focusing on, oh and our budget.

At this moment in time I would like to be under our budget not over it!

when I left France and my mum is was so hard. I had to say goodbye to so many of my family in such a short time. My mum is coming over to help with the invites and wedding planning but that’s not till the new year.

Till then it will just be Skype!

Bon voyage mon ami!

Is the wedding dress a waste of money?

The wedding dress dread continues with price tag. I am concerned that the wedding dress is the biggest waste of money.

I just can’t get over the price tag!

You are wearing a dress you wear once, once. So the idea of spending £2000 on a dress, it just baffles me. Some of you will have already spent that money or more.

Instagram and Pinterest have a lot to answer for when it comes to dress expectations.

Gorgeous picture from Siobhan Hennessy

Is the wedding dress a waste of money?

I am going to ask you a question, except for a few close friends do you really remember the details of your friends and family’s dresses?

Because I can’t. I remember my favourite, my least favourite and my closest friends but that’s it.

My friend Jess had a gorgeous navy dress that my other friend made. It was beautiful and simple. But what I remember most about Jess’s attire was her shoes and her taco purse. She still wears every accessory today!

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Jess looking stunning

Money Vs Wedding dress

Getting into debt for a wedding is just not on my cards, literally!

I don’t want a black cloud following me around after the wedding day.

We have a house so we don’t need to save for a deposit. We have are trying to be practical but the money is still adding up. Weddings are ridiculously expensive especially when they are just a fancy party!

I know I want to feel amazing I do, but does money really need to be spent to achieve this? I won’t wear the dress again! I won’t cut it up and turn it into something else.

Sam’s wedding, I love this dress!

Memories

When I was a manager in jigsaw I remember a customer coming in with her friends looking for a wedding dress. She was beautiful and pixie sized and was looking for something different. I was at a loss, showed her pretty draped dresses.

she kept sighing at me because I just didn’t get it. So I showed her a beautiful suit dress with a French trim. It was grey fitted and sharp her Friends instantly agreed it was perfect.

I was baffled.

It was her dress, a grey suit dress. She looked beautiful in it but it was just a grey tailored dress. £140 she was happy as Larry.

Now I get it

Today I ordered a wedding dress from a high street store. If it’s not great I will send it back. If it’s perfect it means that a I didn’t have to spend a fortune but b I don’t have to stand in front of my Danettes and feel unhappy. This also means that I will not have that wedding dress experience but hey if it’s perfect I can take my Danettes out for a meal instead!

I would really prefer to have a beautiful pair of Jimmy Choos instead of a gorgeous dress I will wear once.

Is it a waste of money?

No, not if you have the money it is definitely not. I would hate to regret my wedding dress. The bargain hunter in me is hoping that this dress will be amazing. I will miss out on the trying on experience but as you know I am a bit fearful of that as well. If the dress is not right then I will have to hunt for a new one anyway.

Fingers cross it suits me!

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Sams Shoes

Giving Up My Name and Other Wedding Traditions

So firstly, I am a feminist I am not sure who doesn’t believe in equality. That is what feminism is, wanting to be accepted with respect, as equals. I am struggling with giving up my name and other wedding traditions.
I am going to be truthful with you, I find lots of things about a wedding old fashioned. But I also like some of the traditions. This doesn’t mean I judge you for keeping the ones or all of them if that is what you want. I believe a wedding and the start of your marriage should represent you both not what others think you should do. If traditional suits you, do it. If you just want to do it your way, do it.
A marriage is a tale of two halves coming together to create a whole. Two equal halves coming together. Sounds like harmony and feminism to me.
Some might say that it’s just words “giving away” “Honor and Obey”. That these are just traditions you don’t have to put any power into them. But I am betting a few of you rolled your eyes at my self-label of Feminist. Some may have  stopped reading.

I never really looked at it from this point of view till I got engaged. I maybe overthinking somethings and also American traditions like the garter toss (never happening)  and bridesmaids buying there own dresses (WTF) have influenced lots of weddings in recent years.

So you may be questioning my engagement?
I had to be asked, because he would have said no to me.
I also wanted to be asked. I want to be his wife: his partner in life and love.
Wedding traditions I have issues with:
• Dad giving me away
• Asking my dad’s permission
• The term maids (come on!!!!!!!)
• Giving up my name
• That humanist ceremonies are not lawful weddings but they are in Scotland (come ONNNN)
• That mothers don’t appear to have apart in the ceremony? Think about it….no role at all.

 

My Father giving me away

My Father will be walking me down the aisle. I need him to calm me down and to hold my hand. I can’t wait to share this moment with him. He won’t be giving me away he doesn’t need to. I have been independent since I moved out of home when I was 18 but that doesn’t mean that my parents haven’t been there for me. If my Oncle was still alive he would also be walking me down the aisle with my dad. But that won’t be happening.

 

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Asking for my father’s hand

I love my dad, I am a daddy’s girls. When my brother in law asked my dad for my sisters hand in marriage his reaction was amazing. Brad was so nervous, I mean shaking. My dad’s words were
“Why are you asking me for, I am not marrying you”

 

 

 

 

Brad went white………… watching it was so funny, I kid you not. My Dad is a feminist too, although he never talks about it.

He has raised two independent daughter and a son who treats women with respect.
Brad had asked my sister first. He also asked my mum for Vicky’s hand. He was just as nervous asking her, my mum was so overwhelmed she didn’t really hear Brad, so he had to repeat himself.
He turned bright red at this point.
My mum loved it but she had a massive cry and my Oncle asked us to give her a minute as this was a big moment for her.
Gavin didn’t ask my dad for my hand, but he did let him know he was going to ask me. My dad told him he liked him and he was happy for us. I am glad he told him.

 

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The term maids

Bridesmaids just doesn’t sit well with me and tradition behind it sucks, I am sorry but come on. Just call them spinsters and get on with it. Maid of honour, yuck. I am not having a maid of honour. I am having 5 amazing women stand next to me, and I know I have called them bridesmaid in my previous blogs but that will have to change. I just don’t like all the alternative names out there. Tossing the bouquet to other maids…… okay I have caught 3! It was silly and fun but still. Don’t think I will do it. I think the maids will just have to get married without the lucky bouquet.

 

Giving up my name

 

Okay so this is an easy fix, I don’t have to. The majority of my friends who have gotten married in the last 5 years haven’t done it. A few just didn’t get around to it and now don’t care that much. I am a Payet through and through. I love my heritage, the light with the dark. I am proud to be a Payet and I always will be. But should I be a Townsend…. This I am stuck on. So, I am thinking that I will take it on. Not a double barrel just as another name.

 

I like it.

 The Law

That humanist ceremonies are not lawful weddings but they are in Scotland
This truly makes my blood boil.


Mothers don’t have a part in the ceremony

Its all about the men, think about it.

 

Father of the bride, best man and groom all do speeches. Women sit there looking pretty. Now I have no issues with you keeping it that way with your wedding.
None, nada.
You may hate talking or have nothing to say but the roles of a wedding party are old fashioned and outdated. I think my mum would kill me if I asked her to do a speech but if my friends wanted to say anything or my mum did, I would encourage it.
Both my mother and mother in law are creatively helping us out with our wedding. They are both strong amazing women who have been through a lot. They are role models to both me and to Gavin and have already talked us through lots of wedding plans.
So traditionally they will have huge role in helping us with the planning but absolutely no role on the day?
I find it baffling, I also had never really considered it before I got engaged.
Will I say anything at my wedding?
The answer is yes. You know it.
The wedding is the start of our marriage. I feel it should start of as we mean to go on. Equally. Humanist ceremonies mean that we can do it however we wish so we don’t have to OBEY anything.
What are your views on traditions in a wedding?

Wedding Planning; It’s all in the details

I know that my guests don’t really care that much about the details. They wont care that I have made all the table clothes and hand dyed all the napkins. They may think me brilliantly talented or absolutely stir crazy! But I love details at a wedding. Love them.

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To me, wedding planning, its all in the details

When my friends Sam and Keith got married they had a travel theme. Bunting was made out of maps as well as the boutonnieres. We had mini suitcases filled with boozy sweets as favours. The table was made up of travel books and tiny travel origami. It was all pretty perfect. The amount of effort they went to and yes, half the guests probably didn’t notice but I did. I loved it all!

Details are all about effort, creating a perfect space

I am not making everything because I am a control freak. I am doing it because it is going to save us an absolute fortune in renting and money. I can resell the napkins on as well as keep a set for us to use all the time. Table runners can also be resold, I am looking forward into curating this wedding.

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Plus, I am creative. A wedding day designed by you is a creative person’s dream.
I want it to be bright and colourful with nods to things we like.
I want our guests to eat and drink and be really for happy for us.
I also want it to be semi original (not going to happen) Pinterest has too many inspirations and at the end of the day I don’t want it look like everyone else’s.
It is easy to get lost in the details.

Planning

I use my bullet journal, I have lists upon lists in it. It has a time line, budgets, ideas, sizes, savings, due dates. You name it. My life is in that planner. I have a lot of lists of things I cam going to make and things I am going to source.
Which means I have a lot to do, a lot to make.
I am going to continue to put a lot of effort in the details because it is what I am interested in.
When I read wedding blogs I scour over the tables, what flowers they have used. How full the table is, what are the favours? I look at the table numbers and how everything is arranged. To me there are never enough photos of the little bits.

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Promises to myself

It really is my favourite bit and I know that I sound a little crazy. Weddings where the tables are jam packed full of details fill me with such pleasure.

So, at the end of the day I will make a few promises to myself.
• I will have a cut off date when the details have to stop
• I will buy if it is cheaper
• I will not worry if people don’t notice it
• I will try not to overwhelm our wedding with details!!!
• I will not stress if some of my projects don’t turn out right and I can’t use them

Well we will see if I can keep my promises to myself.
If you are doing a lot of DIY, Good Luck.

We can do this!