Kindness is key: wedding planning is stressful

Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding, Wedding Budget

I know I keep harping on about being kind. But I think it is so important. When my scorpion tail whips out with cruel or bitter words I have to stop myself.

Why the vitriol?

Planning a wedding is stressful especially when you are arranging everything. We both work full time so it’s just our spare time that we are fitting everything in. Our venue is an empty box. So we have nothing to work with, it’s brilliant but a lot of work!

Our first year together! 10 years ago.

So it gets a bit much

Sometimes we snap at each other. Mostly is miscommunication sometimes is tiredness. But then he does something so small and lovely I remember why we are doing this.

Because we love each other and we want this. Our weddings isn’t massive but it’s not small either. It’s what we want, where we want and the majority of it is how we want.

I read a blog where the bride said if you find it stressful then you are doing it wrong. I am pretty sure she didn’t have to arrange every little bit. I think being so positive about the stress can put a dampener on those who are trying to deal with it. Yes this is a first world problem but I am working pretty much everyday to sav for this.

We are not getting in debt for one day!

I feel like stress and negativity are like childbirth. When the wedding day is over you kind of forget about the rest of it. My best friend appears to have forgotten the calls she made about things going wrong etc!

Truth

I am loving planning our wedding.

When things get made and ticked off the list I am so happy!

Things come up all the time. Little issues that we haven’t thought about and have to solve. Saving has been hard but so far none of the issues have been about money.

Just organising and getting things done. A lot of this has fallen on my shoulders and has made me weary. Folding a hundred invites hasn’t been to bad. Thanks to gin and YouTube! It’s still time consuming and as this blog goes out it will all be done!

Writing things down and setting a plan has helped. My helpful family ( that includes his) has helped so much!

My advice to you….

  • ask for help when you need it. Understand there will be stressful times. I almost killed Gav over stationery! But we went for a drink and sorted it out.
  • Talk to your partner there is a reason you are marrying them.
  • Do dye 130 napkins if it makes you happy!
  • Be kind to yourself and to others!

Enjoy it!

Makeup trial and fail

Beauty, confidence, Make Up, Personal Experience, Wedding, Wedding Budget

Okay so I am a nervous bride. Nervous in the fact that I am not glamorous or elegant. I can scrub up well but it’s never been me really. Having a makeup trial made me nervous.

How do I look like me without looking like me.

Online shopper

When it came to my wedding dress I was so nervous about trying it on and falling in love with an expensive out of my budget dress that I whimped out completely and shopped on line.

When it came to my shoes I did go to Harrods with the cash in my hand. I went to Jimmy Choo with the full intension of purchasing my wedding shoes and when it came to buying them it turned out I didn’t love them enough. I did however check out the slightly ridiculous Aquazzura shoes that I ended up purchasing online. I love them they are perfect.

Beautify

So when it came to hair and makeup I was like get a professionally do it. I want it to stay on all day and I want to look good. I had a good makeup artist and hair person but my MIL talked me out of them because they are in Kent and the dart ford crossing may be an issue.

So I looked for someone more local and found someone. I am not going to name them because they were very nice just not for me.

Not my style, baby

I should have seen the warning bells when I saw there Facebook page. 12 year olds with make up on. They issue a lot of makeup and weren’t really my style. But they were local!

I turned up to the salon and it was cool. I felt like a movie star. My mum and lil Sis were with me to tell me if I liked it.

Now because I am open about my opinions people think that this means that I can voice my concerns.

I changed my lip colour and asked for cat eyes which I didn’t get. So I asked for them again and I still didn’t get them.

I should have asked for more blusher but I didn’t. Wearing glasses means that you can’t really see the mirror. This meant that I just had to rely on the makeup artist.

They did a nice job on my makeup. Did I feel amazing?

No

I hate the face that no product or effort was make on my hair! Look at all those flyaways!

I wanted to feel amazing

The makeup lasted all night which was impressive. The lipstick endured me eating a burger. I am a classy bride after all.

But my hair was such a let down. She spent a total of 45minutes on my hair and makeup. She twisted it in a bit and put some tendrils back. No product on my curls and I had prewarned them I was most nervous about my hair. I would have done a better job without looking in the mirror.

Unhappy bride

I looked nice, maybe I will never look any better than nice but in which case I would rather save the money and do it myself!

It is so disheartening when you spend money on something that the girls at the beauty counter could have done and excelled at. I am a DIY bride, I don’t have the money to spend £100 for every trial I do. It’s fairly frustrating.

I did discover Bare Minerals lipsticks are epic and long lasting. But other than that it was a fail.

So now I am looking again.

How was your makeup trials or did you do it yourself?

DIY wedding, dying my own napkins

Wedding, Wedding Budget

Our venue is beautiful and magical and it one of the those set ups where you do everything yourself. Hire everything, including the linen.

It means a lot of work but then I guess it’s a bit more special.

We also have the venue from the Friday till the Saturday which is amazing. We have a lot of time to set up and get ready.

So I started thinking about where we are and what sort of food we are having. I truly believe in a well dressed table, it hurts my eyes when table cloths have thick folding lines. It makes me want to Holt the wedding breakfast and iron the tables..

I don’t even have ocd I just hate an in-ironed tableclothes.

I love a dressed table, flowers, nice glasses. If someone has made the effort then I really appreciate it. So I decided to dye my own napkins.

DIY napkins

Is that crazy?

My friend Charlotte showed me a picture of her sisters birthday where they ombré dyed the napkins a gorgeous grey and well I fell in love.

She found the napkins at a place in brick lane where hotel and restaurants get rid of perfectly good seconds. And so she bought mine.

Task as hand

Yup all 120 napkins plus a few spares.

This sounds like a mammoth chore but it’s not.

I did the first batch in a few hours in a patch of sunshine the British weather bestowed on me.

Instructions

So I read the instructions and like any modern women I watched a few YouTube videos to boot.

The best piece of advice I got was that the fabric had to be wet in order to absorb the dye better.

I used two different strengths of dye and dipped my first batch of napkin. I put them in different buckets. So I popped them in my weaker green bucket. Then into the darker second. I am just going for a ombré effect and I love the results so far.

I used the length of my glove as a measurement and held my napkins at an angle so that one corner was left white.

They are still drying in this picture I had to cover the deck with plastic you get for painting so that I didn’t stain everything. I used gloves so my hands didn’t go green. Only when I moved the dye it exploded onto my hands and I now have green tinged fingers.

At least it matches my ring!

I really enjoyed myself.

I only have 90 more to dye as these are currently in my bathroom drying over night.

I can’t wait to have these finished and another job ticked off my list!

What DIY jobs have done, doing?

Growing my own bouquet: a budget step too far?

Flowers, Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding, Wedding Budget

So on an early post I wrote about how trying to find the perfect September flowers are hard. I also said that it’s hard to find what actual flowers are in season.

My mum and Charlotte are doing my flowers.

My sister said I should try growing my own dahlias , so for my birthday I bought two lots of dahlia tubers.

Sarah Raven has got the most beautiful selection and it’s where I bought mine from!

This beauty is the Rubens collection

Which are the most Devine colours ever! These are all dahlias but all so very different.

I figured that if it works great!

If they don’t flower in time then my garden will be beautiful. If I just get one bloom I will be over the moon!! If it’s a Cafe au Lait even better.

I fell in love with them so much I bought a second set of tubers in a slightly different palette. This is the Flamboyant selection!

I figured that they would all work beautifully together if I was lucky enough to grow them all.

I am on Dahlia watch

I planted them just after the last frost and have been monitoring the weather ever since.

I am like a crazy plant lady.

I actually screamed when the parcel arrived. And then I had to wait almost a month because the weather was bad.

I also bought cheap pots that I had to cut wholes in so my plants don’t drown with the amount of rain we are sure to have.

I also ran out of soil and had to top up a week later.

Being a planner I had to plan which ones to do first!

Luckily everything is written on the bag so while I was writing out the sticks I could match it to the tuber. Makes me happy!

My friend said to write the name on both sides because rain and sun will fade them.

Measure twice, cut once

This makes me so happy. I am pretty sure I am supposed to snip the top so that I get more flowers but I will do a bit more research before I make the final cut.

My garden is now covered with plant pots and Dahlias.

I have used plant pots because my garden is dark and this means I can find the best spots for them.

Time to be more me: Wedding Saga continues

Organising, Personal Experience, Wedding

I think, maybe I am learning that when is comes to the world of weddings that people including myself get swept up into being a bride. Bridal this, wedding that. The ideal wedding and the perfect bride.

Every bride looks beautiful and that is because they are happy. Happiness makes everyone radiant. It shine through them and make you smile.

A lesson to us all.

Matchy matchy poo poo

Everything that is not me.

I am constantly striving for this bridal perfection when it isn’t nessesary. If it’s not me then why am I entertaining it.

I think that it is easy to become a bride instead of just being you! Maybe a perfect version of you, in the photos. I am not saying that you have to look like yourself if you don’t want to. I am just saying it easy to get sucked into a theme or a look just because everyone is doing something.

Social media has a lot to answer for but at the end of the day it’s you making the decisions and you paying the bills. Pinterest made me do it is a common theme.

I keep looking at nail varnish! How silly am I. Pale nudey shades that are are really pretty and delicate but not me. I am a bright colourful person trying to pale myself down.

Not any more.

I know I agreed to the white dress even though I would prefer to be dressed in this beautiful creation but it was a request from the groom. Plus I never had ever had the budget for couture!

Ellie Saab dress

I love my dress

It suits me to a tea.

It isn’t the Ellie Saab dress I love but it is wonderful.

I won’t be having pretty nice nude nails. I am having a lovely plummy lavender for my legal ceremony and a pinky coral which is my absolute favourite colour for the wedding.

Obviously I may change my mind but I hope I don’t.

The wedding look

I will never understand why people strive to look the same and have the same feel of a wedding that they have seen a hundred times before. Don’t get me wrong I am totally inspired by other people’s weddings, I just want our day to represent us! So if our nieces and nephews want to dress up as ewoks so be it!

There are so many wedding trends that I do not understand. Prosecco walls? Surely someone has to stand there and fill them up no? Is this person not a waiter? Could they not just pass around the drinks and make sure everyone gets one?

Difficulties

It is hard when your family and friends have perceptions of what a wedding should be.

Bridesmaids in the same dress.

Just men doing speeches.

But I think explaining your look and vibe and including them in it helps. It also stops confusion.

I love a wedding, everything about it! The bride and groom then walking down the isle. The ceremony which is my favourite bit!

Confetti, oh how I love a smiling bride and confetti!

Food, drink and then dancing the night away with people I care about.

The wedding saga has to end, it will in four months!

It’s time to be more me.

What are my 5 Goals…… making me plan and think!

Advice, Personal Experience, Planning, Travel, Wedding

Day7, 5 year goals, 30 day blog challenge.

So this has made me think, think about what I want for myself, my work and my relationship.

So in 5 years I want to achieve…

1 get married. I know you already know I am achieving this goal this year but it still a big one for me!

I love Gavin I want to be his wife. I can’t wait for our wedding day. Hopefully it doesn’t rain but if it does we will have to go out and buy wellies and umbrellas!

For my home

2, get a new kitchen. Can that be a goal, yes well we will have to save for it so it isn’t something we can just splurge on willy nilly. It will take time to plan and find the right bits.

Our kitchen is nice it’s just tired. The bottom of the cabinet have spit due to water issues and I really really want a dishwasher!

I also would like a cabinet next to the sink and maybe french doors that go out into the garden but we will see.

I would also love a little toilet and sink upstairs but Gavin is really against that for some unknown reason.

There a few bits around the house that are tired and need a bit of TLC and after the wedding is a good time to focus more.

3 my blog being successful

I am so greatful for every single follower it means the world to me that for some reason you would read my blog. Gav gets an update with each one I get, and I punch the sky, John Bender style.

I would love it to be even better where I can have a proper website not just a page. I would like it to reflect me a lot more. My friend is a super talented graphic designer and after all the wedding craziness is over I will be looking to her for advice.

If it was a success I could spend a lot more time on the photography. Carefully planning layouts rather than the snaps you get right now.

4 travel

Japan is on my bucket list along with Vietnam, Laos and Singapore. I would like to have visited all of these countries in the next few years. We are honeymooning in Japan and plan to stop of on the way at another destination. So that will be two ticked off my list.

I have a fair few countries in Europe I really want to go to. I have never been to Italy, there is so much I would love to explore there. I feel like Italy’s city’s deserve destinations of there very own! I have also never been to Ireland and need to visit as we have ancestors there.

Iceland, Norway and Sweden are places of such beauty that are not far away but expensive to visit so this will definitely be a highly planned exciting schedule.

So travel is a big one!

5 Working less and earning more

Is that possible? I meaning working 4 days a week instead of 6. Maybe doing my dream job/ jobs…..

I wouldn’t mind working from home once a week so I could look after my dog. Currently I work 5/6 days a week. But I set the Rita so at least I decide when I work even if it is 6 days straight. I don’t mind but it can be draining.

Perhaps in5 years I will achieve my dream job and be a blogger full time. Travelling the planet, renovating my perfect little house and writing full time.

Who knows?

I always struggle to think of answers to these questions but so far this challenge has been more about a challenge for me to understand what I want rather than a challenge of writing a blog everyday!

I am really enjoying this!

The wax and wane of wedding planning excitement

Advice, Organising, Planning, Wedding

So when you get engaged you will find moments of pure bliss then you find moments of pure frustration. This is definitely a Wax and wane situation.
Waiting to find out from suppliers, yes or know can be frustrating enough.


I am currently going through the issue of finding dresses for my bridal party. Its tricky, all different shapes an sizes. Different tastes………. Oh well.
We are looking at pretty much every shop. Zara, ASOS and lots of vintage shops. Collectif is a bit of a favourite at the moment because of the styling. Worse comes to worse I can ask George my friend and super talented seamstress to whip me up some dresses but I will ask her if we haven’t found anything in the next two months.

Under Preasure

I feel pressure to pick something but at the same time I still have 6 months to get this.


So I am going to take a deep breath


Uhhhhhhhhh


And relax


Fooooooooooo


I am not going to rush this. I am going to ignore the pressures and wait for the right dress. I am not wearing the colour dress I wanted so I am not going to be rushed on my Danette choices. I know it when I find it. I have found one that is lovely but it wont suit my sister so unless she goes for something completely glam.

Wax


The only issue I am facing is a lot of opinions and no one wanting to offend anyone. They all want to please me and I intern want to please them.
So I am waiting.


Waiting for the right dress. I think I want something colourful and floral. So not your ordinary plan bridal party. I don’t mind if the girls change the neckline, hem sleeves etc to make them feel comfortable. Tailoring can a simple dress look glam. I don’t really want them to look like Stepford wives either. They can wear there own shoes and choose to have their hair and makeup to suit them.

Wane


In the UK you pay for your bridal party I was more than a little shocked when I learned that in America you are expected to pay for the dresses. This trend appears to be creaping over here. I hope it doesn’t stay. I am asking enough of my bridal party without asking them to pay for their dress. Imaging having a beautiful but unwearable bridesmaid dress in your wardrobe, taking up space and a waist of money. I have no issues with paying for my ladies, this at all but when it comes to shoes if I decide I would prefer them matching then I will pay for that too.


So right now I feel a wee bit of pressure to complete all my tasks. When I don’t have too. I have enough on my plate at the moment. So I have said it before.


Good things take time. I am marrying the man who makes me so happy. The details can take a back seat for a few days.

I have been told that I am too easy going (what is the opposite of Bridezilla) that i am trying to please everyone. But the truth is I want everyone to feel great.

That’s a fact.


I may have found my shoes……


But I will leave those for another blog.