Giving Up My Name and Other Wedding Traditions

Advice, Organising, Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding

So firstly, I am a feminist I am not sure who doesn’t believe in equality. That is what feminism is, wanting to be accepted with respect, as equals. I am struggling with giving up my name and other wedding traditions.
I am going to be truthful with you, I find lots of things about a wedding old fashioned. But I also like some of the traditions. This doesn’t mean I judge you for keeping the ones or all of them if that is what you want. I believe a wedding and the start of your marriage should represent you both not what others think you should do. If traditional suits you, do it. If you just want to do it your way, do it.
A marriage is a tale of two halves coming together to create a whole. Two equal halves coming together. Sounds like harmony and feminism to me.
Some might say that it’s just words “giving away” “Honor and Obey”. That these are just traditions you don’t have to put any power into them. But I am betting a few of you rolled your eyes at my self-label of Feminist. Some may have  stopped reading.

I never really looked at it from this point of view till I got engaged. I maybe overthinking somethings and also American traditions like the garter toss (never happening)  and bridesmaids buying there own dresses (WTF) have influenced lots of weddings in recent years.

So you may be questioning my engagement?
I had to be asked, because he would have said no to me.
I also wanted to be asked. I want to be his wife: his partner in life and love.
Wedding traditions I have issues with:
• Dad giving me away
• Asking my dad’s permission
• The term maids (come on!!!!!!!)
• Giving up my name
• That humanist ceremonies are not lawful weddings but they are in Scotland (come ONNNN)
• That mothers don’t appear to have apart in the ceremony? Think about it….no role at all.

 

My Father giving me away

My Father will be walking me down the aisle. I need him to calm me down and to hold my hand. I can’t wait to share this moment with him. He won’t be giving me away he doesn’t need to. I have been independent since I moved out of home when I was 18 but that doesn’t mean that my parents haven’t been there for me. If my Oncle was still alive he would also be walking me down the aisle with my dad. But that won’t be happening.

 

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Asking for my father’s hand

I love my dad, I am a daddy’s girls. When my brother in law asked my dad for my sisters hand in marriage his reaction was amazing. Brad was so nervous, I mean shaking. My dad’s words were
“Why are you asking me for, I am not marrying you”

 

 

 

 

Brad went white………… watching it was so funny, I kid you not. My Dad is a feminist too, although he never talks about it.

He has raised two independent daughter and a son who treats women with respect.
Brad had asked my sister first. He also asked my mum for Vicky’s hand. He was just as nervous asking her, my mum was so overwhelmed she didn’t really hear Brad, so he had to repeat himself.
He turned bright red at this point.
My mum loved it but she had a massive cry and my Oncle asked us to give her a minute as this was a big moment for her.
Gavin didn’t ask my dad for my hand, but he did let him know he was going to ask me. My dad told him he liked him and he was happy for us. I am glad he told him.

 

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The term maids

Bridesmaids just doesn’t sit well with me and tradition behind it sucks, I am sorry but come on. Just call them spinsters and get on with it. Maid of honour, yuck. I am not having a maid of honour. I am having 5 amazing women stand next to me, and I know I have called them bridesmaid in my previous blogs but that will have to change. I just don’t like all the alternative names out there. Tossing the bouquet to other maids…… okay I have caught 3! It was silly and fun but still. Don’t think I will do it. I think the maids will just have to get married without the lucky bouquet.

 

Giving up my name

 

Okay so this is an easy fix, I don’t have to. The majority of my friends who have gotten married in the last 5 years haven’t done it. A few just didn’t get around to it and now don’t care that much. I am a Payet through and through. I love my heritage, the light with the dark. I am proud to be a Payet and I always will be. But should I be a Townsend…. This I am stuck on. So, I am thinking that I will take it on. Not a double barrel just as another name.

 

I like it.

 The Law

That humanist ceremonies are not lawful weddings but they are in Scotland
This truly makes my blood boil.


Mothers don’t have a part in the ceremony

Its all about the men, think about it.

 

Father of the bride, best man and groom all do speeches. Women sit there looking pretty. Now I have no issues with you keeping it that way with your wedding.
None, nada.
You may hate talking or have nothing to say but the roles of a wedding party are old fashioned and outdated. I think my mum would kill me if I asked her to do a speech but if my friends wanted to say anything or my mum did, I would encourage it.
Both my mother and mother in law are creatively helping us out with our wedding. They are both strong amazing women who have been through a lot. They are role models to both me and to Gavin and have already talked us through lots of wedding plans.
So traditionally they will have huge role in helping us with the planning but absolutely no role on the day?
I find it baffling, I also had never really considered it before I got engaged.
Will I say anything at my wedding?
The answer is yes. You know it.
The wedding is the start of our marriage. I feel it should start of as we mean to go on. Equally. Humanist ceremonies mean that we can do it however we wish so we don’t have to OBEY anything.
What are your views on traditions in a wedding?

Wedding Planning; It’s all in the details

Advice, Flowers, Organising, Planning, Wedding

I know that my guests don’t really care that much about the details. They wont care that I have made all the table clothes and hand dyed all the napkins. They may think me brilliantly talented or absolutely stir crazy! But I love details at a wedding. Love them.

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To me, wedding planning, its all in the details

When my friends Sam and Keith got married they had a travel theme. Bunting was made out of maps as well as the boutonnieres. We had mini suitcases filled with boozy sweets as favours. The table was made up of travel books and tiny travel origami. It was all pretty perfect. The amount of effort they went to and yes, half the guests probably didn’t notice but I did. I loved it all!

Details are all about effort, creating a perfect space

I am not making everything because I am a control freak. I am doing it because it is going to save us an absolute fortune in renting and money. I can resell the napkins on as well as keep a set for us to use all the time. Table runners can also be resold, I am looking forward into curating this wedding.

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Plus, I am creative. A wedding day designed by you is a creative person’s dream.
I want it to be bright and colourful with nods to things we like.
I want our guests to eat and drink and be really for happy for us.
I also want it to be semi original (not going to happen) Pinterest has too many inspirations and at the end of the day I don’t want it look like everyone else’s.
It is easy to get lost in the details.

Planning

I use my bullet journal, I have lists upon lists in it. It has a time line, budgets, ideas, sizes, savings, due dates. You name it. My life is in that planner. I have a lot of lists of things I cam going to make and things I am going to source.
Which means I have a lot to do, a lot to make.
I am going to continue to put a lot of effort in the details because it is what I am interested in.
When I read wedding blogs I scour over the tables, what flowers they have used. How full the table is, what are the favours? I look at the table numbers and how everything is arranged. To me there are never enough photos of the little bits.

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Promises to myself

It really is my favourite bit and I know that I sound a little crazy. Weddings where the tables are jam packed full of details fill me with such pleasure.

So, at the end of the day I will make a few promises to myself.
• I will have a cut off date when the details have to stop
• I will buy if it is cheaper
• I will not worry if people don’t notice it
• I will try not to overwhelm our wedding with details!!!
• I will not stress if some of my projects don’t turn out right and I can’t use them

Well we will see if I can keep my promises to myself.
If you are doing a lot of DIY, Good Luck.

We can do this!

Wedding Debate: Do we need a Videographer?

Advice, Organising, Planning, Wedding

 

I am stuck when it comes to this debate. If you had asked me if I wanted a videographer at my wedding I would have told you nope, not in the budget. Don’t want it, don’t need it. But here comes the advice, I keep getting told that my bride friends wish they had had one.

So, do we need a videographer?

Do we? Well if money was no option I would get one in a heartbeat.

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Image from Pixabay

But we have a budget. It is not in the budget, so do I have work extra days so we can have a wedding videographer as well.

We are spending more than I had planned on this wedding. Gavin and I had different budget ideas and we are paying out of our own pockets. But because we are spending a lot maybe it will be worth the splurge to get a videographer to capture these magical minutes.

I almost didn’t get a photographer

I kid you not. I reasoned that you get married and for the first year you do look at them, then they get put away. I am not the sort that has a lot of photos up on display. I won’t have a canvas of us printed. But I was told that a photographer was important. Like most brides to be I have read a million blogs and scrawled through there photos with a fine-tooth comb.

I do need a photographer. I found her and I love her. She is really sweet and friendly and her work is natural and amazing.

But now I want a videographer. I do watch wedding clips on YouTube and think, yes, I want my wedding to be like that. I truly do, so maybe a wedding videographer is going to capture those moments my photographer wont.

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Image from Pixabay

My bridesmaid advised us to get one! She said we will regret it, hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Plus I cant wait to hear the speeches and talks. We have a budget in mind and we won’t go over that but I was considering buying a drone anyway (I am a mentalist I know) so we could have some cool over head shots.

Hunt for a Videographer

So we have started the process of finding out rates and availability. Our first step was to contact our Photographer and ask if she had any recommendations, after all if she has worked with them before she will have a good rapport with them.

If you are having a videographer or have had one do you have any regrets? Please let me know as I would love to hear your views on it.

I am still undecided…..

Dana

Wedding Fitness, Calorie Counting: Can I drink and diet?

Advice, body confidence, Fitness, health, Personal Experience, Wedding

I need to focus on my wedding fitness and calorie counting is helping. I know what you are thinking, I don’t have to diet for my wedding. I should just be happy in myself. My body isn’t terrible but I don’t like it.  Body confidence only works if you like what you see. I can’t convince myself that I look good because I don’t.

I don’t.

I thought I would share with you things I have changed. My drinking habits and how I have had to improve with my diet. Wedding fitness is not just for that one day, but the years after it.

I want to be healthy!

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Pints of Larger in Val D’ isere, Apres Ski

Drink

When the cooler months glisten at our doorstep I love a large glass of red in winter (204 calories). In warmer months it is a large glass of cold white wine in my hand (214 calories). But I don’t have one glass, nope, I will have three which is roughly 600 calories…. Your average intake for a woman in 2000! So 600 may not seem so bad but if like me you are a little overweight then those calories add up.

I am less active in the winter, I don’t run or walk as far. So those calories easily turn into pounds.

But I don’t just stick to wine, no.

Not sure there if there is anything better than sitting in a pub, next to fire, puppy at your feet big roast dinner on its way and a lovely pint of ale. You will find me with Doombar (203 calories) and Wandel (185) with a great big smile on myself.

Holborn Dining Rooms

Favourite Place in London, Holborn Dining Rooms they are all gin!

I like a drink,I like to eat. I don’t like moderation so much.

This doesn’t mean I drink all the time, just when I want to relax.

We have a wine rack, it is rather large. Gav bought it online, it is half a champagne rack and holds 60 bottles. It is completely full. We have wine bottles on the floor stacking up, when we have dinner parties we rarely touch it, which is crazy.

Do you do that, buy a new bottle rather than open one you already have?

If I meet up with my friends we will meet for drinks, we have dinner with food and then a few drinks before we hit the road.

If I am travelling by myself then I generally don’t drink too much. I like to have glasses of water when I drink so I stay hydrated. Not a fan of hangovers so I am also not some one who drinks right up until I go to sleep.

I like a drink and I am not going to change that

My friends like a drink too.

I had to cut back, because it is better for my skin and the number of calories are in alcohol is ridiculous.

My main weight is on my belly so that’s food and booze. My beer belly!

My drinking habits had to change… bye bye ale.

Not including holidays and festivals, I have had about 10 beers this year. Wine I have just monitored but prosecco is just a waste of calories!! 80 calories in that tiny glass!

Hello Gin

A single gin and tonic is 59 calories and because my dad taught me how to pour gin and tonic I have always had doubles which contains 112 calories as long as you use slim line tonic. This is one of the best drinks for calorie control. I can plan a few drinks or just burn off the calories.

My gin has gone from Bombay Sapphire to about 30 different gins. I love trying them I even organised a gin tour in London with my best friend and it was brilliant.

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Gin pamphlet I made for Becky’s Epic Gin Tour

I love gin but I don’t care for fancy tonics I am not a gin snob. Schweppes or generic brands are fine, I want to taste the gin! We have super expensive brands and also unusual ones we find in the supermarket on offer or on holiday.

I get a lot of gin for presents and I love it.

Except for the Ferdinand (Gavs Gin which is my absolute favourite) we just open a bottle and drink it. This picture of my gin trolley was when I first bought the trolley. Now I have so many gins they are on both trays and now on the floor under the wine rack.

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I think the most important thing about being healthy is not denying yourself the things you love but understandingwhat you are putting into your body.

When you find out how many calories are in a delicious premade pizza (2000) you start to realise that it really isn’t worth your daily intake.

I said previously that I am using Lose it App. I get to monitor everything. Although it sounds crazy to be like that I actually like it. Scanning in my food, seeing if I have gone over my calorie allowance. It also lets you set an achievable goal. You can adjust it if you want to be more proactive which is what I have done.

My daily allowance is 1376 calories a day.

You can break it up however you like they have suggestions etc. I also put my weight now and what I have lost. It tells me that in 4 months I will lose another stone.

I don’t drink during the week now. I wait till the weekend now and mainly only if we eat out or if it’s a special occasion.

My gin sits expectantly on its shelf, tonic chilling in the fridge with the limes.

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Dalloway Terrace, London

So can I diet and drink?

Absolutely. Moderation is key and not punishing yourself if you do go overboard. I don’t miss it, and I really enjoy my drinks at the weekend.

I am not 20 anymore, I can’t drink without hangovers and I can’t eat without gaining weight.

With exercise and portion control I can do this.

Looking after myself isn’t a chore but it is a challenge, hopefully someday soon it will be second nature.

I see women running, sweating and trying and I just want to high five them all!

If you are trying to lose weight you can do it!

We can do it

Dana

Will I be an emotional mess: Ugly crier

Advice, body confidence, Planning, Wedding

Since we have gotten engaged I am an emotional mess, plain and simple.

I cry pretty much every time I think about our wedding. From reading my blogs you may think that I am a mess all the time, what with waiting to get engaged. I appear to be crying constantly. I want to be able to control it or risk having photos of me, an ugly crier.

When I think about…

…My dad walking me down the aisle

…My mum seeing me in my dress

…Seeing Gavin for the first time

…. reciting our own vows

Writing this, tears are filling my eyes. (come on Dans grrr)

I don’t want to cry… is this a bride to be hormonal issue?

Do lots of brides feel this surge of emotion?

When my sister in-law got married we could see her getting overwhelmed. She looked so beautiful and was so happy but we could see the emotional tide surging against her. The photographer told her to take a big breath or she was going to miss it and get swept away with her very real emotions. She would miss the little bits, the joys the laughter she needed to focus. So she took a big breath and had pretty happy tears in her eyes for her first set of group photos.

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My brothers wedding

She looked stunning

I don’t want to miss my wedding because my face is all scrunched up and on a purely selfish not I don’t want to mess up my makeup.

So I am trying a few steps.

Pinching my fingers, tilting my head up and trying to smile through it.

Plus, I will be wearing waterproof mascara and hopefully as light a makeup as will make me look good.

The thing is this emotional nonsense means that is not just my wedding I cry at but adverts, old couples holding hands in the street, the news at ten drowns me in tears the Huffington post kills me. It seems I have changed to a weeping wreck from happy go lucky person.

I probably wont cry at all, I will be one of these brides that laugh at their partners as they weep. But it is still freaking me out.

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I, like most women am an ugly crier, blotchy , scrunched up face my eyes completely disappear and I generally resemble a butternut squash. Maybe my mantra should be Pumpkin face and then I can just focus on that. I do not want to become and emotional mess.

Its like Gav has flipped a switch in me and now I cry at everything.

I have been thinking about walking down the aisle and I think an upbeat song may get me through. I have 3 I am thinking about, two are romantic and one is upbeat but means a lot. Maybe I just need to stop focusing on guessing how I am going to react and just go with the flow.

I am British, I believe in pulling up your socks and just getting over it.

Try not to cry and just enjoy the day I have waited so long to enjoy.

If you have any tips on not crying then please let me know I would love to hear from you.

Dana

#Pumpkinface

 

Madrid and Engagement ring shopping

Advice, Personal Experience, Planning, Travel, Uncategorised, Wedding

I honestly thought this would be easy, I mean it is shopping for my engagement ring?

I kind of knew what I wanted, something vintage or unique? I thought I would love shopping for jewellery, I didn’t expect it to be filled with pressure.

 
Having to pick a piece of jewellery that sits on your finger forever is hard.

 
With every ring I tried on I felt the price tag and the weight of my decision.

 
I have a new respect for partners choosing the ring. This isn’t my favourite necklace or bracelet. This is something that will stay on my finger permanently. And with that come a massive amount of pressure to get it right, so I will be happy forever, without regrets.
When Gavin asked me to marry him, those words were all that mattered but still.

 

I would like a nice ring on my finger at the same time.

 

We won a competition to Madrid through Brockman’s gin, see being a gin drinker really pays off! So we decided when we were there we would do a bit of ring shopping. Madrid has a lot of emeralds and I knew I wanted a green stone.

 

The first ring I tried on was a beautiful emerald cut emerald with two diamonds at the side on a gold band. It was expensive and beautiful and when I looked at it, it really wasn’t me. I felt strange knowing that this expensive ring wasn’t me and Gavin looking at me with his big beautiful eyes.

 
He just wanted for me to be happy and a drink.

 
We were in glorious Spain.

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Engagement shopping in Madrid this was google maps helpful reminder

 

We all wanted a drink!

 

This continued in about five shops, the green was too green. The gold was two yellow.
Then we found a street filled with antiques… oh if I had a bigger suitcase!

 
I doubted my decision and my preference. We walked a minimum of 16000 steps a day. This was broken up with wine cheese and a bit of site seeing so I am not complaining. I really fell in love with Madrid a little bit.

 
We eventually found a gorgeous 1920 diamond ring. It fit perfectly. Was an unusual shape but I just wasn’t sure?

 
I couldn’t commit to it.

 
We were in Madrid not in London and leaving the next day it was not as though I had a lot of time to think about it.

 
I felt pressured to make a big decision

 
At first, I was grateful that I got to choose but then it started getting stressful and I started resenting the options out there.

 
So, I had a think.

 
Looking around shops was getting crazy.

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We had eaten a lot of churros!

My plastic ring was broken due to its fragility.
If you havent read about my proposal please find it here  Gav bought me a replacement in Sainsburys for £6. Yes, it turned my finger green, then black but after that it was fine. It was simple and pretty and I had lots of complements on my sparkling £6 ring.

 
Finding the real thing was proving tricky and stressful. I couldn’t commit to what I wanted.

 
I now admire men who go out and see the perfect ring for their partner and buy it. There is a reason that so may people just like a diamond solitaire.

It is simple and elegant.

 
Green is my favourite colour so I knew I wanted green stone. We have a running joke that my favourite colour is purple when it is green, Gav constantly tells me it is purple. So, when I was looking at stones I came across a green amethyst. It suits us! It should be purple but it is green.

 
I have a Pinterest board called hint, hint Gavin. Filled with pale green rings on white gold.

 
So, we planned a trip into London’s Hatton Garden.

 
I popped into a shop in Romford and they had some nice stones in the window. I had a two-minute chat with the girl who was working there and was told to come back when the manager was back at the weekend.

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We were busy that weekend so didn’t come back for two weeks. Hatton Garden was waylaid due to birthdays and parties that kept getting in the way. I took Gav with me and as we approached the window there it was. A pale green cushion cut amethyst with a white gold band and little diamonds on the side.
She had got it.
It was perfect.
How was it possible. It even fit me. They had made it so easy, I thought it was going to take forever. She had even found me some matching earrings and a pendant. The woman was a genius!
And that its.
A two-minute chat and a lady who knows what she is doing and I have my beautiful engagement ring.

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My Green Amethyst Engagement Ring

It’s probably not your cup of tea.

 
I love that it is not traditional. This little beauty is going to sit on my finger for the rest of my life. It wasn’t lovingly selected by my fiancé but we did pick it together.

 
Finding it was a journey, in a stressful first world problem kind of way. Our trip to Madrid was heavenly, I have never felt so at home in a place I have never been to before. So although we didn’t find my ring there it we cant wait to go back. I did start to think that my £6 ring was in it for the long haul.

 
But nope, here is my ring. In all its simple elegance.
Now to find the band!!!
Dana

Generic Wedding Saving Blog tips and are they helpful?

Advice, Flowers, Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding

As I have been dreaming of a wedding for years I have read hundreds of blogs on helpful  tips wedding advice. Where to spend your money and where to splurge.

I would have considered myself an expert until I started planning my own wedding.
Then I realised that so much of their wedding tips to save money are just too generic.
My biggest gripe with other blogs is when you are looking for ways to save money on your wedding and they suggest you elope.

THAT IS NOT HELPFUL WHEN PLANNING A WEDDING!

This has got to be the most useless advice ever. They may as well say don’t do it! An elopement is not the same as a wedding with friends and family. If you don’t want to spend money, deal with family stress, making your own wedding invites, then why are you reading a blog on money saving tips for your big wedding day?
I am not saying elopements don’t take money and time to plan. An intimate wedding for two is still a wedding but they are not the same as a wedding day.
Seriously bloggers!!! If you planning on having a reception when you get back then you are still spending money on a wedding and it can still be as stressful. So an elopement is not helpful advice thank you very much!

Money

Let’s talk money and weddings. I don’t think you should ever plan anything above your budget. Why would you spend more than you can afford? Modern day weddings are not all carriages and huge white dresses.

Setting your budget is important but so is doing your research!

If you had to strip everything away including guests then who and what would remain?
This is the most important question for you as a couple. What do you want. What do you not care about. What can you sacrifice so you have what you want and will it be worth it. It is your day, not your family’s or your friends, do this one for yourself. They love you and know you they will get it.
The problem with generic advice is your wedding is not generic. It is personal. Even if you want to recreate someone else wedding ideas it will still not be generic as it will be you and your wedding party.

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Blog tip 1: When to get married

Often the response is to get married in off peak season as it is always cheapest.
Yes, they are right, winter months are cheaper but the wedding industry is really pushing us and increasing our winter wedding to ridiculous costs.

October is now considered late season not off season. Expensive is always going to be expensive.
These bloggers are suggesting ways to save money but at who’s expense? Getting married on a Tuesday means your guests have to get take two days holiday off to attend you event. It may be cheaper for you but not for them.
There are other options…..
Either get married within 6 months and grab all the last-minute bargains including venues. Leaving it last minute may get the opposite, you may get overcharged for a few things as well. Cancelled booking etc means that deals spring up all over the place.
You need to be highly organise but I am telling you can do it.
Or get married in two years and save up towards it. I didn’t think I could save as much as I have but I am determined to be debt free after the wedding.

Blog tip 2: Cut down on your guests

Well yes that is an obvious one, but sometimes you really do have a big family or group of friends. We are planning around 110 people. If you think about it that’s 55 people each…. 20 of mine are family members then I am inviting 15 of my closest friends and their partners.
That isn’t that many people.
The majority of their partners are my friends and I have known them for years. We won’t have anyone there who’s names we don’t remember after a couple of drinks. This is the benefit of getting married after a decade. Our lives are entwined. His friends are mine.
We aren’t having children except for the wedding party. This is helping with costs but also we don’t really want children there.

It’s our choice: we are child free.
Cutting down your wedding guest list will save you money. As long as you have the people around you who mean the most to you, who have always been there for you then they are who matter.
Weddings cost so much money!!!! You can’t invite everyone you know but is telling you to limit your numbers that helpful?

Not sure… I guess so. Just don’t go crazy.

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Blog tip 3: Don’t use real flowers use fake

Okay, hmm, unless you don’t like flowers then why not use them? You don’t have to have a fancy bouquet with diamonds in the roses. Just have a great big bunch of your favourite flowers.
You can buy little potted plants that decorate the table and double as favours.
Use in season flowers bought direct from a flower wholesaler or market trader. Just let them know what you are after and turn up the day before to buy them. Ask a crafty friend to put them together just don’t have massive expectations for them to be the dreamlike Instagram worthy creations. Gypsophila, white carnations or hydrangea heads can look really effortlessly chic and can be whipped together quickly. Don’t forget super market flowers!!
Keeping your flowers simple is key to an elegant look.
Boutonnieres are £12 a pop (yes really!) these are simple to make but don’t attempt unless you are crafty or have someone to guide you. Youtube can teach you quickly and you can practice with your garden flowers. These really don’t need to made from fresh flowers. These can also be super personal too, think geeky toys, pin badges.
Paper flowers are so simple you could learn to make them in 10 minutes and perfect in an hour!
My awesome friend Jess didn’t have flowers she had cool gourds on the table and her bouquet was a gorgeous designer clutch bag that she wanted. I loved her priorities she wasn’t a fan of flowers so she didn’t have them.

 

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Blog tip 4: Make your own invites

Before I start on the cost of invites I can tell you that I am hand making my own. They will be 3D colourful and have separate bits to them. They will cost me approximately £200 including stamps and the order of services. It will take me a good couple of months to design, send to the printers and put together.
I am also going to say that the invite sets the tone to the wedding. The dress code, colours and organisation. Pour as much into onto those bits of card or you will forever have people calling you with times, presents wedding colours, you name it they will ask for it.
You spending hours attaching Swarovski crystals on your invites will mean nothing to them. A bride who has been there and any crafty friends you have will appreciate your effort. They may comment that the will look lovely but, in the end, they are heading for the recycling bin of destiny.
(disclaimer I actually love an invite, I keep them all as a memento of the day but also because I just love stationery)
My advice to you is this, if you are making them then keep it simple. I know I am not but I have a year to make them. Your guests just want information they will regard a fancy invite with the same eye as a printed invite. Plus printed invites are not what they used to be.
Guests want to see the love, they want to laugh with you and have a little happy cry.
As long as they are fed and watered they rest is not important.

Blog tip 5: You need a Spreadsheet

Okay I would agree with this. Making sure you track your money is vital to your savings. But you don’t have to use the bloggers. Make your own it takes about ten minutes to knock one up or just go on excel templates. They are prepared for you. You can cut out the bits that you don’t want.
Paying for someone’s spreadsheet is ludicrous.
The first thing I did when I started asking for quotes was set up a joint email address separate to our personal accounts. This means that I don’t get in updated with quote in my personal email, now GDPR has kicked in this is less of an issue however. If you are getting a lot of quotes you have them all in one place. I love it.

Blog tip 6: Wedding apps and making your own wedding websites

For carbon footprint conscientious brides with tech savvy guests this is great.
For the rest of us I am going to say no.
Go on any blogging forum and you will hear of upset brides that are in tears or disappointed because they keep getting calls from confused family members who don’t go online. Save yourself the stress, put it on website if you want one but print out a paper version for your older family members.

They are going to call you anyway.
As for wedding apps I have tried 3 and I don’t find them personal at all. Yes you can adapt them and change bits but honestly my excel spread sheet has times and dates when thing need or have been paid. They liked to send me updated of when I needed things completed by but I don’t like there timelines. I have a wedding Bullet journal.
I am old school but everything is in there.

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When booking anything for your wedding, the sooner the better.
I have 15 months to go, I have venue, photographer and entertainment booked. Flowers are being done by my mum and bridesmaid…. The rest we are working on.

Blogging tip 7: Wedding trends for 2000 and blah blah

Blah blah is about right. Fasted way to date your wedding is to follow all the bridal trends there are. Just do want you want within your means. Calligraphers are amazing. It is a true art, but can you read it? Can you? Neat handwriting is better than scrolls of words, again most things written on paper are going straight to the Recycling Bin of Destiny.
Welcome signs are beautiful (I love them and will hopefully be making one) but do you need it nope- cut costs. Orders of the day are useful but after the ceremony nobody looks at them. No one. This I don’t generally keep.
Succulents ( I am addicted to) geodes, geometric metallics and acrylic signage, I love them all and Pinterest is guilty of putting them on my wedding feed. But these are a trend and we are being led by them. I love them and think they all look beautiful but follow what you love not what is in fashion.

Blogging tip 8: Don’t have wedding favours

Ooh I am stuck. Not sure about this one. I didn’t want them. Gav does. So, I went into design mode and have created the box for the favours to go in. All I need to sort out is what to put in them.
Favours are hit and miss. I think my favourite ones are edible or drinkable ones. Port yummy, pick-a-mix great but are they necessary absolutely not! I don’t mind if people forgo the wedding favour. Nor should you. Let’s just say you pay £1 a favour, then you have to put them in box or container, then you need some ribbon to tie round it. It all adds up.

Un less it is edible guess where it is heading………

Common sense

Planning above your means is futile
Modern day weddings happen the other was around now. Peoples priorities have changed. Buying a house is the biggest commitment you can make to each other before marriage.
Let’s face it 25k is becoming half a deposit for a house. A few years ago, it was your whole deposit.
Times are changing and everything is rising in price.
Do what you want! Making is cheaper but your time isn’t. Weigh up what you want to spend on what and try to keep to that budget.
So as a practical person, having a house is actually more important than have a big fancy wedding. Luckily, I don’t want a big fancy wedding, I just want my friends and family to help me celebrate me and Gav and our relationship.
It is still costing more than I would like but because we are making a lot, we are saving thousands of pounds.
As I am being honest even if I was rich I would still have the wedding we are planning. I just wouldn’t be making all the bits I am.
Time is precious.
You are not generic.
Dana