Kindness is key: wedding planning is stressful

Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding, Wedding Budget

I know I keep harping on about being kind. But I think it is so important. When my scorpion tail whips out with cruel or bitter words I have to stop myself.

Why the vitriol?

Planning a wedding is stressful especially when you are arranging everything. We both work full time so it’s just our spare time that we are fitting everything in. Our venue is an empty box. So we have nothing to work with, it’s brilliant but a lot of work!

Our first year together! 10 years ago.

So it gets a bit much

Sometimes we snap at each other. Mostly is miscommunication sometimes is tiredness. But then he does something so small and lovely I remember why we are doing this.

Because we love each other and we want this. Our weddings isn’t massive but it’s not small either. It’s what we want, where we want and the majority of it is how we want.

I read a blog where the bride said if you find it stressful then you are doing it wrong. I am pretty sure she didn’t have to arrange every little bit. I think being so positive about the stress can put a dampener on those who are trying to deal with it. Yes this is a first world problem but I am working pretty much everyday to sav for this.

We are not getting in debt for one day!

I feel like stress and negativity are like childbirth. When the wedding day is over you kind of forget about the rest of it. My best friend appears to have forgotten the calls she made about things going wrong etc!

Truth

I am loving planning our wedding.

When things get made and ticked off the list I am so happy!

Things come up all the time. Little issues that we haven’t thought about and have to solve. Saving has been hard but so far none of the issues have been about money.

Just organising and getting things done. A lot of this has fallen on my shoulders and has made me weary. Folding a hundred invites hasn’t been to bad. Thanks to gin and YouTube! It’s still time consuming and as this blog goes out it will all be done!

Writing things down and setting a plan has helped. My helpful family ( that includes his) has helped so much!

My advice to you….

  • ask for help when you need it. Understand there will be stressful times. I almost killed Gav over stationery! But we went for a drink and sorted it out.
  • Talk to your partner there is a reason you are marrying them.
  • Do dye 130 napkins if it makes you happy!
  • Be kind to yourself and to others!

Enjoy it!

Makeup trial and fail

Beauty, confidence, Make Up, Personal Experience, Wedding, Wedding Budget

Okay so I am a nervous bride. Nervous in the fact that I am not glamorous or elegant. I can scrub up well but it’s never been me really. Having a makeup trial made me nervous.

How do I look like me without looking like me.

Online shopper

When it came to my wedding dress I was so nervous about trying it on and falling in love with an expensive out of my budget dress that I whimped out completely and shopped on line.

When it came to my shoes I did go to Harrods with the cash in my hand. I went to Jimmy Choo with the full intension of purchasing my wedding shoes and when it came to buying them it turned out I didn’t love them enough. I did however check out the slightly ridiculous Aquazzura shoes that I ended up purchasing online. I love them they are perfect.

Beautify

So when it came to hair and makeup I was like get a professionally do it. I want it to stay on all day and I want to look good. I had a good makeup artist and hair person but my MIL talked me out of them because they are in Kent and the dart ford crossing may be an issue.

So I looked for someone more local and found someone. I am not going to name them because they were very nice just not for me.

Not my style, baby

I should have seen the warning bells when I saw there Facebook page. 12 year olds with make up on. They issue a lot of makeup and weren’t really my style. But they were local!

I turned up to the salon and it was cool. I felt like a movie star. My mum and lil Sis were with me to tell me if I liked it.

Now because I am open about my opinions people think that this means that I can voice my concerns.

I changed my lip colour and asked for cat eyes which I didn’t get. So I asked for them again and I still didn’t get them.

I should have asked for more blusher but I didn’t. Wearing glasses means that you can’t really see the mirror. This meant that I just had to rely on the makeup artist.

They did a nice job on my makeup. Did I feel amazing?

No

I hate the face that no product or effort was make on my hair! Look at all those flyaways!

I wanted to feel amazing

The makeup lasted all night which was impressive. The lipstick endured me eating a burger. I am a classy bride after all.

But my hair was such a let down. She spent a total of 45minutes on my hair and makeup. She twisted it in a bit and put some tendrils back. No product on my curls and I had prewarned them I was most nervous about my hair. I would have done a better job without looking in the mirror.

Unhappy bride

I looked nice, maybe I will never look any better than nice but in which case I would rather save the money and do it myself!

It is so disheartening when you spend money on something that the girls at the beauty counter could have done and excelled at. I am a DIY bride, I don’t have the money to spend £100 for every trial I do. It’s fairly frustrating.

I did discover Bare Minerals lipsticks are epic and long lasting. But other than that it was a fail.

So now I am looking again.

How was your makeup trials or did you do it yourself?

DIY wedding, dying my own napkins

Wedding, Wedding Budget

Our venue is beautiful and magical and it one of the those set ups where you do everything yourself. Hire everything, including the linen.

It means a lot of work but then I guess it’s a bit more special.

We also have the venue from the Friday till the Saturday which is amazing. We have a lot of time to set up and get ready.

So I started thinking about where we are and what sort of food we are having. I truly believe in a well dressed table, it hurts my eyes when table cloths have thick folding lines. It makes me want to Holt the wedding breakfast and iron the tables..

I don’t even have ocd I just hate an in-ironed tableclothes.

I love a dressed table, flowers, nice glasses. If someone has made the effort then I really appreciate it. So I decided to dye my own napkins.

DIY napkins

Is that crazy?

My friend Charlotte showed me a picture of her sisters birthday where they ombré dyed the napkins a gorgeous grey and well I fell in love.

She found the napkins at a place in brick lane where hotel and restaurants get rid of perfectly good seconds. And so she bought mine.

Task as hand

Yup all 120 napkins plus a few spares.

This sounds like a mammoth chore but it’s not.

I did the first batch in a few hours in a patch of sunshine the British weather bestowed on me.

Instructions

So I read the instructions and like any modern women I watched a few YouTube videos to boot.

The best piece of advice I got was that the fabric had to be wet in order to absorb the dye better.

I used two different strengths of dye and dipped my first batch of napkin. I put them in different buckets. So I popped them in my weaker green bucket. Then into the darker second. I am just going for a ombré effect and I love the results so far.

I used the length of my glove as a measurement and held my napkins at an angle so that one corner was left white.

They are still drying in this picture I had to cover the deck with plastic you get for painting so that I didn’t stain everything. I used gloves so my hands didn’t go green. Only when I moved the dye it exploded onto my hands and I now have green tinged fingers.

At least it matches my ring!

I really enjoyed myself.

I only have 90 more to dye as these are currently in my bathroom drying over night.

I can’t wait to have these finished and another job ticked off my list!

What DIY jobs have done, doing?

Growing my own bouquet: a budget step too far?

Flowers, Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding, Wedding Budget

So on an early post I wrote about how trying to find the perfect September flowers are hard. I also said that it’s hard to find what actual flowers are in season.

My mum and Charlotte are doing my flowers.

My sister said I should try growing my own dahlias , so for my birthday I bought two lots of dahlia tubers.

Sarah Raven has got the most beautiful selection and it’s where I bought mine from!

This beauty is the Rubens collection

Which are the most Devine colours ever! These are all dahlias but all so very different.

I figured that if it works great!

If they don’t flower in time then my garden will be beautiful. If I just get one bloom I will be over the moon!! If it’s a Cafe au Lait even better.

I fell in love with them so much I bought a second set of tubers in a slightly different palette. This is the Flamboyant selection!

I figured that they would all work beautifully together if I was lucky enough to grow them all.

I am on Dahlia watch

I planted them just after the last frost and have been monitoring the weather ever since.

I am like a crazy plant lady.

I actually screamed when the parcel arrived. And then I had to wait almost a month because the weather was bad.

I also bought cheap pots that I had to cut wholes in so my plants don’t drown with the amount of rain we are sure to have.

I also ran out of soil and had to top up a week later.

Being a planner I had to plan which ones to do first!

Luckily everything is written on the bag so while I was writing out the sticks I could match it to the tuber. Makes me happy!

My friend said to write the name on both sides because rain and sun will fade them.

Measure twice, cut once

This makes me so happy. I am pretty sure I am supposed to snip the top so that I get more flowers but I will do a bit more research before I make the final cut.

My garden is now covered with plant pots and Dahlias.

I have used plant pots because my garden is dark and this means I can find the best spots for them.

Idle hands are the devils online shopping subscription

Beauty, confidence, Make Up, Wedding Budget

I have signed up to too many beauty / home websites. This pay day I had a ridiculous amount of emails offering me money off discounts, free postage ahhh. I want it all. my idle hands are shopping as soon as the subscription emails roll in.

My account looks healthy and my fingers start emptying it again.

I went on Cult Beauty filling up my basket with Zoeva brushes and Charlotte Tilbury makeup. When I got to a £100 of products I took a step back. What am I doing?

Stop the splurge

Yes I want to buy a lot of gorgeous things for my home but right now I don’t need them. I am not a shopaholic but there is something about a pay check that makes me want to spend money That has literally just entered my account!

I need to save

It’s not long till the wedding! This month has been all about paying for wedding deposits and payments. Blah blah blah. My savings are looking pretty empty.

Time for less outings

More walking ( bus fares add up)

Definitely no beauty, I have enough. I don’t wear much makeup so why am putting all this makeup into my basket? I am too susceptible to advertising and influencers. I do use all my skincare products but everything else is just money I could have spent on the wedding!

Idle hands

Luckily I also need to watch my diet! Which means less takeouts and premade meals.

As it’s a big sunnier I do want to eat better food with more veg and in the evenings I need to keep busy.

Idle hands are the devils online shopping subscription. They sit and wait for my pennies to roll in then they send me what I have always wanted but have absolutely no need for.

Yes I want velvet cushions with embroidered bees on, yes I need more plants! I just topped up my rather sad makeup collection with my Boots points. It really is the bare minimum and didn’t cost me anything however did I need it?

Plan

I need to be busier without exhausting myself like I did over Christmas.

I have so much to do so rather than spending my weekends completing tasks I am going to complete them in the weeknights instead. I will still schedule nights where I can just cuddle my best friend the sofa ( I wrote a blog on my lack of energy)

I will still relax when I need to, I won’t even look at my subscriptions this month unless Elizabeth Arden has an amazing deal on ( never going to happen).

I won’t delete them because I do have enough will power to stop buying them. This month will be a no buy month!

No spending on silly things

No make up

No skincare ( Cult Beauty I already miss you)

Do you have the same problem with pay day offers?

So obviously I bought the new Birchbox because Rock My Wedding sent me a naughty email and I wanted to try out half the items in it! It arrived within two days and I will try out the bits tomorrow when I go shopping with mum.

On Sunday I got a call from my mum suggesting that I had, HAD to buy the new Gatineau tanning accelerator.

“You don’t want to be a pale bride darling”

So thank you QVC for your special offers! I look forward to looking like a bronze goddess at our wedding.

So I failed!

But a few treats here and now are important to me not going insane with all the wedding planning.

Or so I tell myself.

Being grateful: A Pre thank you

Flowers, Organising, Wedding, Wedding Budget

I am trying to prethank all my wedding party for what they are about to do, or have already done for me. Weddings can cause rifts and there is nothing like a wedding to bring out the worst in people.

I have a wonderful team of Danettes family and friends who have offered to help and I am taking them up on it. And quite frankly I don’t want to piss them off and appear ungrateful!

So this week, as a prethank you I took my mum, mother in law and sister in law out to a posh restaurant for a slap up feast. They have already done so much for me Gavin and the wedding and there are 7 months to go!! I know we will be asking a lot more of them especially their time and opinions.

Flowers

My mum was only here for a few days but she was a whirlwind of help and answers. She trained as a florist so disapproved of a few of my choice ( apparently no to pink and yelllow). But I love them together so she obliged.

She ummed and arrrd over the flower arrangements which half way through, I was like perfect, next! But she took her time and it did look really beautiful when she finished. She was happy, even with my yellow ( freesias are her favourite) so I knew she would give in!

Budget savings

I refuse to pay for vases but she was impressed with my array of jam jars thank you Dowe Egberts and your perfect coffee jars! Plus my mother in law kindly donated a lot of golden syrup jars perfect!

My table runners slightly scared Hayley and mum at first till we set it out but honestly I think the whole thing will look beautiful!

Granny Donelly wisdom ” suits the wearer not the starer”

I am going to do the rounds and make sure everyone understands how much I appreciate there help and input!

My best friend has always been my rock since I was 14 we have been thick as thieves! I am thinking of ways to thank them before I become a wedding zombie focused on all the details. She is off to Madrid for hen do planning, how crazy is that.

I need to plan something special for just us!

Grateful

Being thankful and grateful is easy but it is also easy to think our friends and family know how much we appreciate their help. Some times they need to hear it! I am trying to do this so if I do get a bit crazy, they will understand I am out of character.

I refuse to be a bridezilla! But that doesn’t mean she won’t show herself every now and then!

So that’s it,

My little Friday blog.

Hope you enjoyed it!

I need Shelp! Wedding Shoe search continues

Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding Budget

Yes I spelt it right, I need Shelp. Shoe help!

I want a beautiful pair of shoes to walk up the isle in, twice. At the moment the law doesn’t acknowledge humanist ceremony as legal which means I have to get married twice.

This does not make me happy, except I have bought both dresses and I love them equally.

Jimmy Choos Roma

Two Shoes

So now I may need two pairs of shoes!

Two you say, yes two. I need heals for the legal bit. Something gorgeous and star of the show. I want something flat or wedge for the actual wedding day. I want something I can wear all day! Something pretty. Sparkly.. not too sure.

I don’t mind a designer shoe but I am not going to turn my nose up at a high street shoe either. I am a budget bride after all.

Marks and Spenser shoes

I said from the beginning that I would rather have a beautiful pair of shoes than a super expensive wedding dress. An accessory I can wear again and again and take away on honeymoon.

So I went to shoe heaven

Have you been?

It’s a bit of a maze but it has all the pretty shoes.

The staff are really helpful and attentive. These are expensive shoes but oh so pretty.

I didn’t find any I loved except the Aquazzura Pom Pom shoes that they had in black and the wrong height! They are so beautiful, sexy and a wee bit too high. My mum loved them.

So I searched online and it looks like they are no longer available in my size.

Just look at them! I have to move on or scour Vestier for my perfect shoes. One thing I love about them that I didn’t know was the brands logo is a Pineapple which suits me to a t!

They are sold out- i have myself on a fair few waiting lists and watching Vestiaire like a hawk. We will see.

So now I need Shelp!

And I am getting it from one of my Danettes. She happens to be a shoemaker/ designer who worked for the RSC and ROH in the shoe department. Sourcing and making shoes.

I told you I picked my BMs well.

She has given me lots of options already but has told me not to rush!

So even though I would like them tucked away in their box, ready for me to break them in before the big day!

I will have to wait and except some more Shelp!

Sophia Webster shoes

Hunt continues

Here is what I am looking for

  • Not too high ( less than 3 inches)
  • Comfortable
  • Peep toes or closed toes
  • No black/ red
  • Up for glitter and colour

How is your shoe hunt going?