The downside to negativity

body confidence, confidence, self care, Uncategorised

I have mentioned before that I got into blogging because I had to do it for work and I loved it. My work has talk me a lot about positivity!

I teach art to kids and adults and with each lesson I dread the negativity. Children especially are very hard on them selves. They turn disappointment into sadness and comparisons. My classes that have been going on longer aren’t really negative anymore. They have learned to focus on their development instead of focusing on their friends.

I often ask them if they are happy with their work and if they aren’t we decide how to tackle it next week till they are happy. As hard as children can be they don’t dwell on things if they get distracted by good things and positivity.

I was writing about how learning to draw can be daunting and then I wrote this quote down.

When I wrote it down and it made me think. Why do we do it.

Why do it do it?

I am into a lot of self care at the moment but that’s not the same as being negative about myself.

Self doubt

With work I got stuck in retail for far too long because I didn’t think my skills were good enough. I didn’t see them as transferable and did not value the actual skill set I have. Yes I had a demeaning boss but she only aided my self doubt.

Gav believed in me

My friends believed in me so why don’t I. Why are we our own harshest critic. I don’t want to be an obnoxious overconfident person but why could I not see my own potential?

Body issues

I have started self tanning, nothing severe just a nice healthy glow. A few shades darker then my white befreckled skin ( I love my freckles)

I start with my legs and work my way up. I am okay with my body. Then I get to my belly and I turn my head in disgust every time!

You are supposed to apply in a circular motion but my belly is so big that I end up swishing it around. Chasing the flesh trying to cover it in the same amount of cream.

I hate it, it’s the part of my body that I hate.

So why the negativity

I hate it

My belly disgusts me. I am trying to cut back on drink ( I still drink just not during the week (as much)) I haven’t run during the heatwave because it’s a heatwave people! But I have been walking home to burn some calories.

I am not working hard enough I know but the truth of the matter is. I am being way to harsh. My belly isn’t horrific at all.

My negativity is holding me back from helping myself and being positive. Being negative isn’t going to make me think hey get your arse in to gear. Negativity is going to make me go, your belly is already big why not have another bar of galaxy!

This isn’t something that is going to change over night but it is something I can work on and get out of the habit.

Negativity is the worst habit!

Let’s try to be kinder to ourselves!

Makeup plan fail! Passport photos trying not to look like a pyscho!

Advice, Beauty, confidence, Travel

So I lost my passport and it’s been stressing me out. First world stress obviously as it’s for my hen do trip in just under 4 weeks.

So I thought hell I know I could write a little blog on what I did to prepare. Like a get ready with me plus prep.

I was so happy with how I looked a little extra mascara a bit more blusher. Umm no still looked like a pyscho.

Pre-care pamper session

So the night before I thought about it. I used the Philip Kingsley Eslastizer on my hair as a treatment rather than just a pre wash treatment.

Frank had a bath first of course. He gets jealous if I spend too much time in the bathroom. He loves a hot bath but I have to cool it down for him incase he cooks.

Any goo back to me!

Skincare

Used my Omorovicza cleanser. It’s gorgeous balancing luxurious and light. At the moments it’s replacing my Elemis, especially in the mornings if I was want to wake up rather than indulge.

So I haven’t used my baby facial in a few weeks. I was using it twice a week and then reduced it to once. I love it. I don’t find it too strong on my skin. I have had a few hormonal breakouts so my skin has been pretty grim.

I used my baby facial.

I love this stuff. It goes on and you feel a slight tingling and leave it as a mask for 20 minutes and wash it off.

Applied a wee bit of Matryxal because it’s my favourite product ever I think!

Then you are left with baby plump skin straight away and in the morning!

After I applied that I used my Guerlan night mask just to give it an extra bit of cushioning.

Pre care hair and skin done!

Morning of the photo shoot ha ha

The next day I woke up to lovely skin. Myi was so happy. So I decided as this image has to se me through the next ten years I better look decent.

So I applied makeup.

You can’t wear too much in a photo but just enough to highlight your features.

What I forgot was that passport photo booths wash you out! They strip back all the effort and I was left looking, well, like a psycho.

For the next ten years!

I redid it 6 times.

I looked awful in all of them! So I picked the best of a rotten bunch.

This photo will haunt me for the next ten years but hey ho.

At least I get to keep my European passport if this crappy brexit ever does happen.

I look like a pyscho

I should have applied more makeup!

But I am a proud European!

Be Bold: feeling the insta-worthy pressure

confidence, Personal Experience

Be bold

Is the theme of today’s blog but today I am feeling beige not bold. I feel like I have taken on too much with this challenge. Its not that I don’t have enough time to write it just that I feel like my writing and content is suffering.

Taking on too much is not going to improve my blog it is just going to make it messy.

 I love interior design I do. But I feel like all the images I am putting up are just not good enough. The lights not right and I don’t have any time to fix that.

The writing of the blog is easy but the planning that goes into it and trust me there is a lot of planning.

So, I am not going to stop I am just going to write about what I really care about which isn’t my lovely slightly disheveled house at the moment.

We all know that I am completely obsessed with skincare. Cant stop wont stop. I really love it and I am my skincare regime has turned me into a crazy pharmaceutical scientist. This morning I put all my bottle I was using on the sink. A bit of this, a bit of that. Is that a scientist or a Witch? I don’t mind either comparison.

The wedding was the reason that I started the blog

My running which hasn’t been happening because I just got too freakin lazy! I have run once this week so I am okay with that but I need to start running for 6 miles soon!

Instagram is just so disheartening. I don’t understand what their point of view is any more. My friend told me that she felt like giving up/ disheartened because other account similar to hers where doing amazing and her beautiful account wants. So I gave her some advice and forgot to listen to myself. So I am going to stop.

It’s all too much

Facebook is just a waste of space, I don’t know why they mess with that either. I don’t know many friends who are still active on it. Some one needs to come up with a new Instagram idea where they don’t introduce a new algorithm every 5 minutes. I would join in a heartbeat.

So this blog is about being bold and my house is packed full of boldness. However the boldest thing about my home is me! Yes, I am saying it.

So I need to just be me and stop trying to juggle so many balls in the air.

At the moment my home will never be instaworthy for this 30 day challenge. I am going to work on being in a little Insta community and to be truthful I already have it with some of the girls I talk to on Insta.

So it’s back to me!

Makeup trial and fail

Beauty, confidence, Make Up, Personal Experience, Wedding, Wedding Budget

Okay so I am a nervous bride. Nervous in the fact that I am not glamorous or elegant. I can scrub up well but it’s never been me really. Having a makeup trial made me nervous.

How do I look like me without looking like me.

Online shopper

When it came to my wedding dress I was so nervous about trying it on and falling in love with an expensive out of my budget dress that I whimped out completely and shopped on line.

When it came to my shoes I did go to Harrods with the cash in my hand. I went to Jimmy Choo with the full intension of purchasing my wedding shoes and when it came to buying them it turned out I didn’t love them enough. I did however check out the slightly ridiculous Aquazzura shoes that I ended up purchasing online. I love them they are perfect.

Beautify

So when it came to hair and makeup I was like get a professionally do it. I want it to stay on all day and I want to look good. I had a good makeup artist and hair person but my MIL talked me out of them because they are in Kent and the dart ford crossing may be an issue.

So I looked for someone more local and found someone. I am not going to name them because they were very nice just not for me.

Not my style, baby

I should have seen the warning bells when I saw there Facebook page. 12 year olds with make up on. They issue a lot of makeup and weren’t really my style. But they were local!

I turned up to the salon and it was cool. I felt like a movie star. My mum and lil Sis were with me to tell me if I liked it.

Now because I am open about my opinions people think that this means that I can voice my concerns.

I changed my lip colour and asked for cat eyes which I didn’t get. So I asked for them again and I still didn’t get them.

I should have asked for more blusher but I didn’t. Wearing glasses means that you can’t really see the mirror. This meant that I just had to rely on the makeup artist.

They did a nice job on my makeup. Did I feel amazing?

No

I hate the face that no product or effort was make on my hair! Look at all those flyaways!

I wanted to feel amazing

The makeup lasted all night which was impressive. The lipstick endured me eating a burger. I am a classy bride after all.

But my hair was such a let down. She spent a total of 45minutes on my hair and makeup. She twisted it in a bit and put some tendrils back. No product on my curls and I had prewarned them I was most nervous about my hair. I would have done a better job without looking in the mirror.

Unhappy bride

I looked nice, maybe I will never look any better than nice but in which case I would rather save the money and do it myself!

It is so disheartening when you spend money on something that the girls at the beauty counter could have done and excelled at. I am a DIY bride, I don’t have the money to spend £100 for every trial I do. It’s fairly frustrating.

I did discover Bare Minerals lipsticks are epic and long lasting. But other than that it was a fail.

So now I am looking again.

How was your makeup trials or did you do it yourself?

Couch to 5k my journey and tips from someone who is struggling!

confidence, Fitness, running, weight loss

I have said before that if I have an idea I can do something it’s because I can. This has always been my approach to life. You would think that this would mean that I am highly successful and motivated.

Ha ha

Nope

So when I decided to run I thought I can run 5k. Don’t get me started on the half marathon farce. I started couch to 5k had two bad runs and gave up.

Oh I can do anything can I?

In my head I ran 3k which was good enough for me. So this time my end game is 21K which is so bloody far I cant truly focus on it.

So because I started couch to 5k last time I knew that I didn’t have to start from the very beginning. I could run 5minutes fine so I started from week 5.

Beginning

Which was a perfect place to start. If you are a beginner please please start from the beginning.

All you need to start is

  • Good running shoes ( go get fitted)
  • A phone that you can down load the app onto
  • The app
  • Headphones
  • A pocket you can zip away your phone
  • Keys to get into your house
  • Money in case you are desperate for a drink or a bus ride home!

That’s it. Nothing fancy. Oh ladies please get a sports bra!

Don’t beat yourself up

What I have learned from last time is that if you don’t make it. Just repeat it till you do!

I have stayed on week five for 3 weeks now. Monday I ran for 20 minutes straight and I was fine, I could have run further but I was so happy. Wednesday is was a 5minute, 8 minutes, 5minute run and I was a hot mess.

Yes it’s hot but that redness is not sunburn. I have SPF on, that redness is my heart pounding so fast! I was sweaty and my knees felt weak!

Heart rate was 151!

Did I feel good after, yes after my shower. It put a little doubt in my head. But I will push on to week six day 2. I have too. You have to. Pushing yourself is part of it.

If I don’t complete my next run I will just go back to the start of the week until I can complete it.

The NHS app is great. I love Laura, her voice is soothing and encouraging! She is getting me through it even if I do swear at her when I think I only have a minute to go and she tells me I am half way through. Sorry Laura.

Now I am in a good place.

I am visualising completing the 5k and moving onto the 10K. I am visualing my training up to run the 21K. It will be a great accomplishment for me.

Looking after me, skincare update

Advice, Beauty, confidence, skincare

My mum is proud of me because I know more about skincare or at least the latest skincare since getting engaged.

I have become a little obsessed with my skincare, I have mentioned that before. I don’t wear a lot of makeup. But I have started buying a wee bit more.

We went to SpaceNK on Kings road and I am so happy we did, there was a lot of staff ready to help and we did a sweep around the store trying the sample and planning the next purchases for my Nydulge card.

I can’t wait for payday I am out of B hydra and the CFirma serum. Or I could just buy the Elizabeth Arden serum oh I still don’t know.

Skin type: I have

  • Combination skin
  • Oily tzone
  • Large pores
  • Millia
  • Blocked pores
  • Broken veins
  • Dry patches on my eyelids

How sexy do I sound! You probably think that it’s strange that I don’t wear makeup. If I go out at night then I put eye makeup, a red lips and a wee bit of blusher. I have a Lancôme tinted moisturiser with SPF. Which doesn’t smother my skin.

So with all these issue I now have skincare staples.

Morning

After reading drunk elephants skincare routine from the littles I have learned that after cleansing at night I don’t really need to cleanse in the morning as I was my face in the shower. So afterwards I just use a vitamin serum and a moisturiser. Then after that has set into my skin I use an SPF.

At night

I cleanse my face. Then I use a serum and then a retinol and sometimes a moisturiser or a night oil if I think my skin needs it. I cant get along with sheet masks. Maybe I am the ones I am using the wrong ones but I don’t really understand them. I use a face mask once a week I would use it more but I don’t want flakey skin to add to all my other issues!

I do like to mix and match

My favourite products are

  • Elemis Rose balm cleanser
  • Indee Lee Toner
  • The Ordinary Matryxal 10% +HA
    Drunk Elephant Whip moisturiser
    Alpha H retinol
    Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Oil
    Elemis night moisturiser
    Drunk Elephant BHydra
    Drunk Elephant C-Firma
    Drunk Elephant Babyfacial
    La Roche Posay Anthelios SPF 50+

I own a lot more products but these are my favourites.

I will go into more detail on what the products do for my skin in a later blog and will try not to repeat myself. If you want any information about Drunk Elephant click here but Baby Facial isn’t there because I hadn’t bought it yet. Plus it deserves its own blog, I love it so much.

My mum is proud of me because I care about what goes on my skin. I am worried about my makeup on my wedding day. I understand that preparation is key.

So I am looking after it now.

Idle hands are the devils online shopping subscription

Beauty, confidence, Make Up, Wedding Budget

I have signed up to too many beauty / home websites. This pay day I had a ridiculous amount of emails offering me money off discounts, free postage ahhh. I want it all. my idle hands are shopping as soon as the subscription emails roll in.

My account looks healthy and my fingers start emptying it again.

I went on Cult Beauty filling up my basket with Zoeva brushes and Charlotte Tilbury makeup. When I got to a £100 of products I took a step back. What am I doing?

Stop the splurge

Yes I want to buy a lot of gorgeous things for my home but right now I don’t need them. I am not a shopaholic but there is something about a pay check that makes me want to spend money That has literally just entered my account!

I need to save

It’s not long till the wedding! This month has been all about paying for wedding deposits and payments. Blah blah blah. My savings are looking pretty empty.

Time for less outings

More walking ( bus fares add up)

Definitely no beauty, I have enough. I don’t wear much makeup so why am putting all this makeup into my basket? I am too susceptible to advertising and influencers. I do use all my skincare products but everything else is just money I could have spent on the wedding!

Idle hands

Luckily I also need to watch my diet! Which means less takeouts and premade meals.

As it’s a big sunnier I do want to eat better food with more veg and in the evenings I need to keep busy.

Idle hands are the devils online shopping subscription. They sit and wait for my pennies to roll in then they send me what I have always wanted but have absolutely no need for.

Yes I want velvet cushions with embroidered bees on, yes I need more plants! I just topped up my rather sad makeup collection with my Boots points. It really is the bare minimum and didn’t cost me anything however did I need it?

Plan

I need to be busier without exhausting myself like I did over Christmas.

I have so much to do so rather than spending my weekends completing tasks I am going to complete them in the weeknights instead. I will still schedule nights where I can just cuddle my best friend the sofa ( I wrote a blog on my lack of energy)

I will still relax when I need to, I won’t even look at my subscriptions this month unless Elizabeth Arden has an amazing deal on ( never going to happen).

I won’t delete them because I do have enough will power to stop buying them. This month will be a no buy month!

No spending on silly things

No make up

No skincare ( Cult Beauty I already miss you)

Do you have the same problem with pay day offers?

So obviously I bought the new Birchbox because Rock My Wedding sent me a naughty email and I wanted to try out half the items in it! It arrived within two days and I will try out the bits tomorrow when I go shopping with mum.

On Sunday I got a call from my mum suggesting that I had, HAD to buy the new Gatineau tanning accelerator.

“You don’t want to be a pale bride darling”

So thank you QVC for your special offers! I look forward to looking like a bronze goddess at our wedding.

So I failed!

But a few treats here and now are important to me not going insane with all the wedding planning.

Or so I tell myself.