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Bridesmaid Sucks: wedding eye rolling

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The role of the bridesmaid is to help you get to your big day. The history of bridesmaids just sucks… single maids who hope to be next.

This does not fit into my life.

It’s doesn’t fit in to modern life.

I want to be surrounded by people I love and they have actually crept up by one. I couldn’t resist.

The name brides maids gives me the ick. Groomsmen sounds cool, equestrian and very traditional. They also get to be stags whilst we get to be nagging clucking hens.

I am a feminist. So is my brother, my husband to be and my father. They all know and think that I am their equal, they have no issue with it.

Nor should anyone.

They do role my eyes when I talk about names, titles and derogatory terms.

I may bring it up more than necessary.

But to me it is necessary.

I don’t want to be a friggin chicken my friend ( hen do) I wouldn’t mind be a doe, to match my stag but seriously! Even that sounds a bit to wimpy.

Am I too much not to want to call my friends and family maids?

I am not really onboard with bride party or team bride, posy , it just doesn’t work for me. So I talked to the girls about it and they suggested the Danettes.

And I like it!

It’s sounds vintage but not antiquated.

Plus they chose it which I love. So they will be referred to from now on as the Danettes. If you google Danettes it does come up with a European chocolate pudding which I think is funny.

So I have 6 lovely ladies standing by my side.

So bridesmaids suck, but the Danettes rock!

What does a girl with big curly hair pack for a trip: Skincare and grooming products

Beauty, Make Up, Organising, Planning, Travel, Uncategorised

I thought I would share with you what this curly hair girl packs for a trip. Now a few years ago my grooming products would have been Boots curly cream, sunscreen, after sun, shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. Now my skincare and grooming products now take up a shelf in my bathroom Gav calls them my Potions.

I basically transformed from a bathroom minimalist to having products overload.

This is all preparation for my wedding day and also just because I need to take care of myself in general.

So what am I packing for a long trip?

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Protective Skincare

Sunscreen

So this is the most important section well that and my hair care. I have thick curly hair that can drink all the moisture in the air and treble in size. My skin is pale (thanks mum) so I like to have different protection levels of sunscreen. So, I have factor 20, 30 and a 50! For my body I wear what ever is on offer but when it come to my face I wear La Roche Posay Anthelios XL ultra light fluid SPF 50+. Light on your skin and super protective.

The Seychelles can reach high temperatures: that breezy coastal air and sometime cloudy skies can be misleading. Reflections from the water mean the sun can get to you from every angle.

You need to top up all the time.

Never miss the back of your neck and the back of you hands.

Aftersun

I like to use this every night even if I don’t get burnt. It sooths my skin moisturises and this also has mosquito repellent in it so I don’t have to smell horrible when I sleep.

Mozzy spray is key to surviving the tropics. I am not taking perfume because there is no point. I hate putting chemicals into the air however none of the natural remedies work.

I have tried tea tree oil, bracelet you name it.

I was eaten alive.

Now I can handle a few mosquito bites but my body doesn’t like them. I get huge egg size lumps on them. I hate mosquitoes, but scratching drives me mad.

Manhattan

My Skincare Routine, with Manhattan 11.

Skincare

Day

Even though this looks like a lot of products it really isn’t. I have my cleanser and toner are both Elemis, Lovely and light on y skin. I will use them morning and night. I also have The Ordinary’s Rosehip oil which is good for soothing the skin and Matryxal which is great for wrinkles and pore shrinking abilities ( I am a convert). Tata Harper diamond moisturiser that is very light and smells like heaven. I have a small travel size rose exfoliator from Elemis which is my favourite. When my skin is ready for makeup I used la Roche Posey tinted SPF 50 which I love.

Night

For night I have my Elemis night cream which makes my skin sing with pure happiness. Burt’s Bees for my lips. Sunday Riley’s Luna for a night time treatment. Decleor’s Balm oil again for a soothing treatment. Elizabeth Arden anti ageing serum which I am saving to buy the bigger one. This stuff is ridiculously good with a ridiculous price to match.

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Hair Care for Curly Hair

May as well get a gripe off my chest. If you have slightly wavy hair you do not have curly hair. I hate it on adverts when they get a model with beautiful perfect curls, call it frizzy and then straighten them. Curly hair is not the same as frizzy hair. Because if there is moisture in the air my hair will absorb it and become frizzy hair.

The different between silky wavy hair and curly hair is when you wake up in the morning you may have slightly fluffier hair. My curls have matted and felted together to create what ever shape my pillow has moulded them in. Unless I sleep on my face my hair needs to be washed or at least conditioned everyday or it looks like crap.

If you think I look like sideshow Bob before I go to bed you should see me in the morning.

My curls are full on curls. I love them but they are a nightmare. My fair is dry, frizzy, curly and prone to itchy flaky scalp. Very sexy.

This summer I have had a lot of good hair days.

I have battled with my curls my whole life and now we are in a good place. I now brush them in the shower (Controversial I know).

I have just discovered Body Shops Ginger Shampoo which smells like heaven and looks after my scalp. I may be able to start wearing dark colours regularly. I am using Muai conditioner which is hydrating for my curls. I just keep it away from my scalp.

Then I use Boots Curl Cream which is the best thing for my curls. And a comb.

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Shower and grooming

Shower gel I will use whatever is at my dad’s house I am not fussy. But I have a got an exfoliating glove to help get rid of all the dry skin.

Venus travel razor is beyond cute and super sharp blades.

Hair grips and bobbles. I keep my hair grips in a large tic-tac box. I saw this hack on Pinterest and it is the only hack that has ever really worked for me.

I am also packing my foot cream and pumice stone. Having your feet exposed all day in the heat or soaked in sea water can lead to super dry feet. Lets face it no matter how small you feet are they are never perfect.

Make Up

I don’t wear a lot of make up at all. I generally don’t wear anything heavier than a tinted moisturiser. My makeup bag generally holds about 10 items but what I am taking on holiday is:

  • Pretty pink Lancome blusher
  • Blusher brush
  • Lancome mascara which is lovely and holds a curl
  • Eyeliner is L’Oreal one which helps me create a cat eye look
  • Elizabeth Arden eyebrow pencil
  • Lano lips moisturiser
  • Lancome pink

I am sorry if that was slightly boring. But when it comes to blogs I am really nosy. I like details and lists and just generally finding out what people pack. I find that they sometimes don’t give me enough information. Having big curly hair means that in the tropics I can sometimes end up looking like Monica From Friends . We all know the hair, yup that’s me.

So if you want information please let me know!

That it from me.

Enjoy your holidays and let me know what you pack. When it comes to shopping for products I tend to shop around to find the best price. I am not loyal to one particular shop. So this is what a girl with big curly hair pack for a trip: Skincare and grooming products hope you liked it.

Dana

For Elemis 

For Lancome 

For La Roche Posay

Madrid and Engagement ring shopping

Advice, Personal Experience, Planning, Travel, Uncategorised, Wedding

I honestly thought this would be easy, I mean it is shopping for my engagement ring?

I kind of knew what I wanted, something vintage or unique? I thought I would love shopping for jewellery, I didn’t expect it to be filled with pressure.

 
Having to pick a piece of jewellery that sits on your finger forever is hard.

 
With every ring I tried on I felt the price tag and the weight of my decision.

 
I have a new respect for partners choosing the ring. This isn’t my favourite necklace or bracelet. This is something that will stay on my finger permanently. And with that come a massive amount of pressure to get it right, so I will be happy forever, without regrets.
When Gavin asked me to marry him, those words were all that mattered but still.

 

I would like a nice ring on my finger at the same time.

 

We won a competition to Madrid through Brockman’s gin, see being a gin drinker really pays off! So we decided when we were there we would do a bit of ring shopping. Madrid has a lot of emeralds and I knew I wanted a green stone.

 

The first ring I tried on was a beautiful emerald cut emerald with two diamonds at the side on a gold band. It was expensive and beautiful and when I looked at it, it really wasn’t me. I felt strange knowing that this expensive ring wasn’t me and Gavin looking at me with his big beautiful eyes.

 
He just wanted for me to be happy and a drink.

 
We were in glorious Spain.

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Engagement shopping in Madrid this was google maps helpful reminder

 

We all wanted a drink!

 

This continued in about five shops, the green was too green. The gold was two yellow.
Then we found a street filled with antiques… oh if I had a bigger suitcase!

 
I doubted my decision and my preference. We walked a minimum of 16000 steps a day. This was broken up with wine cheese and a bit of site seeing so I am not complaining. I really fell in love with Madrid a little bit.

 
We eventually found a gorgeous 1920 diamond ring. It fit perfectly. Was an unusual shape but I just wasn’t sure?

 
I couldn’t commit to it.

 
We were in Madrid not in London and leaving the next day it was not as though I had a lot of time to think about it.

 
I felt pressured to make a big decision

 
At first, I was grateful that I got to choose but then it started getting stressful and I started resenting the options out there.

 
So, I had a think.

 
Looking around shops was getting crazy.

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We had eaten a lot of churros!

My plastic ring was broken due to its fragility.
If you havent read about my proposal please find it here  Gav bought me a replacement in Sainsburys for £6. Yes, it turned my finger green, then black but after that it was fine. It was simple and pretty and I had lots of complements on my sparkling £6 ring.

 
Finding the real thing was proving tricky and stressful. I couldn’t commit to what I wanted.

 
I now admire men who go out and see the perfect ring for their partner and buy it. There is a reason that so may people just like a diamond solitaire.

It is simple and elegant.

 
Green is my favourite colour so I knew I wanted green stone. We have a running joke that my favourite colour is purple when it is green, Gav constantly tells me it is purple. So, when I was looking at stones I came across a green amethyst. It suits us! It should be purple but it is green.

 
I have a Pinterest board called hint, hint Gavin. Filled with pale green rings on white gold.

 
So, we planned a trip into London’s Hatton Garden.

 
I popped into a shop in Romford and they had some nice stones in the window. I had a two-minute chat with the girl who was working there and was told to come back when the manager was back at the weekend.

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We were busy that weekend so didn’t come back for two weeks. Hatton Garden was waylaid due to birthdays and parties that kept getting in the way. I took Gav with me and as we approached the window there it was. A pale green cushion cut amethyst with a white gold band and little diamonds on the side.
She had got it.
It was perfect.
How was it possible. It even fit me. They had made it so easy, I thought it was going to take forever. She had even found me some matching earrings and a pendant. The woman was a genius!
And that its.
A two-minute chat and a lady who knows what she is doing and I have my beautiful engagement ring.

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My Green Amethyst Engagement Ring

It’s probably not your cup of tea.

 
I love that it is not traditional. This little beauty is going to sit on my finger for the rest of my life. It wasn’t lovingly selected by my fiancé but we did pick it together.

 
Finding it was a journey, in a stressful first world problem kind of way. Our trip to Madrid was heavenly, I have never felt so at home in a place I have never been to before. So although we didn’t find my ring there it we cant wait to go back. I did start to think that my £6 ring was in it for the long haul.

 
But nope, here is my ring. In all its simple elegance.
Now to find the band!!!
Dana

Heartbreak, Hero’s and Wedding Plans

Advice, Personal Experience, Travel, Uncategorised, Wedding

When we got engaged everyone said “you wait for the drama and family issues”. A wedding really does bring out heartbreak but it also shines a light on the hero’s in our lives. I smiled politely at them, I thought we would be okay with our wedding planning. Although both our parents aren’t together now I still didn’t see any drama coming.

But then I caused it.

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My brother’s wedding

My sister’s birthday is in July. She will be turning 40 so it is a big one. Two years ago, we decided we would all fly out to see her and celebrate it together in New Zealand. Then a year to the date came up she suggested that she came over, instead of all of us going out to see her.

All of us were grateful that we didn’t have to travel for such a long way for two weeks, plus the money we would save. It was perfect.

Then we got engaged

My sister was over the moon- she couldn’t believe it and was super happy when we said it wouldn’t be for another 18 months as my family are spread all over the globe.

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Me and Vicky in Mahe, Seychelles

Payet’s love to travel

My sister is going to be one of my bridesmaids. Not because we are related but because she is my friend, she means so much to me.

When my ex told me he no longer loved me after I moved out to Australia to begin our new life, it was my sister who booked my flight out to New Zealand 4 days later so I didn’t have to face him. I stayed a month with her moping around the house, crying in my pillow, using up her phone bill to text him. She just let me go through the motions. She booked my hair cut so I could chop off my hair (the most therapeutic way of getting over heart break). Considering how devastated I was, I had a really great time. We had so much fun watching Harry Potter on the couch. Reminiscing about British Christmas and that Lamb is not the same as roast turkey.

First cut is the deepest, but my sister stood next to me with a giant plaster

A month later I had to face my ex and get my stuff sorted to send back to London. We tried and we failed. As I had absolutely nothing to go back for, no Job and no home.  I decided to visit my Dad in the Seychelles and my mum in France. It took me two months to get back to London but I didn’t have any jet lag. I tried to look for the silver lining.  The plane stopped off in Thailand.

5 days all by myself.

I was heartbroken and stuck in the hotel. Not wanting to spend my money because I needed it when I got home. The first day I barely left my room but I was getting so bored. All I could think was that if anything happened to me here no one would know. I was scared to leave the hotel. So I listened to the voice in my head saying come on Dans you can do this. It was my sisters voice telling me not to be afraid. Telling me I could do this, just go for a walk around the block. Explore, be brave and take advantage of the situation. Off I hopped into an illegal cab and did some exploring.

My sister is often the encouraging voice in my head.

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Me and Vicky wearing Gryffindor when I am actually Hufflepuff

She is my hero

And my life moved onwards and definitely upwards.

Then I got engaged.

So when she facetimed my to let me know she couldn’t come over for her birthday it felt like a stab in my heart. I felt a lump rise in my throat and the guilt was overwhelming, I couldn’t look at her. She just stared at me as my eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t see and I couldn’t face her.

I wouldn’t see my sister this year because of my wedding.

She would be alone (not really, she has a family out in New Zealand) but without us.

And because she was coming over no one had saved enough……….

Gavin called me. My sister had called him to ask if I was okay (she wasn’t getting her birthday but she was worried about me) I cried down the phone to him in hysterics. I called our wedding stupid on numerous occasions. My brother helped me calm down (also a good voice of reason) I hadn’t seen her in 3 years. My niece and nephew are proper people now not just little ones.

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3 hero’s here, my bro Sister and Dad

I called my mum so she could tell Vicky how I was feeling. But I still couldn’t face her.

After a while we started calling again. I was saving for a wedding and she understood but the guilt didn’t go away. My bestie suggested I fly out to see her but Gav said we really can’t afford it. He said that my sister didn’t mind and that I shouldn’t either.

I am not going to New Zealand.

My dad suggested that Vicky take the kids to Seychelles and she agreed. Cocktails, sunshine and family: perfect.

Decisions

I didn’t have the time off so I couldn’t go.

I didn’t have money to spare so I couldn’t afford the flight.

I was already going to France for two weeks to see my mum it is her 60th! I also didn’t have the holiday.

So, I booked my flight to Seychelles stopping at Paris on the way back for my mums birthday.

Screw it, I will just have to Ebay all my clothes.

I can’t wait.

My sister has already filled my suitcase with harry potter cushions and clothes for the kids. Thank you, Emirates, and your 30kilo allowance.

We are going to visit all our favourite places. Dad is going to cook us our favourite meals. We are going to drink ice cold Seybrew on the beach and drink gin all night long.

So we do have family issues, I am sure there will be more to come. But right now, family is more important than my bank balance.

This one is to all the hero’s in my life.

In this blog I mentioned a lot of them.

Dana

Engaged: Heartbreak and The Long Wait

Advice, Personal Experience, Uncategorised, Wedding

So I am engaged.

I am so happy. I wanted to share the journey and tears of getting here. I didn’t think it would but it has changed the dynamic of my relationship. I feel safe and secure and although it feels so old fashioned to say that, I do.

I feel like our relationship is fresh and new again.

I want this to be an honest blog, a super honest blog. I have been with my partner for 9 years. And after 4 years I did start to wonder if this is going anywhere. Broaching the subject of marriage often resulted in a shut down of communication and frustration on both sides.

Arguments, tears, often fuelled with alcohol (every relationship’s best friend).

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He felt pressured- I felt rejected.

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