Dysfunctional Planner

I have mentioned before that I got into blogging because I had to do it for work and I loved it. My work has talk me a lot about positivity!

I teach art to kids and adults and with each lesson I dread the negativity. Children especially are very hard on them selves. They turn disappointment into sadness and comparisons. My classes that have been going on longer aren’t really negative anymore. They have learned to focus on their development instead of focusing on their friends.

I often ask them if they are happy with their work and if they aren’t we decide how to tackle it next week till they are happy. As hard as children can be they don’t dwell on things if they get distracted by good things and positivity.

I was writing about how learning to draw can be daunting and then I wrote this quote down.

When I wrote it down and it made me think. Why do we do it.

Why do it do it?

I am into a lot of self care at the moment but that’s not the same as being negative about myself.

Self doubt

With work I got stuck in retail for far too long because I didn’t think my skills were good enough. I didn’t see them as transferable and did not value the actual skill set I have. Yes I had a demeaning boss but she only aided my self doubt.

Gav believed in me

My friends believed in me so why don’t I. Why are we our own harshest critic. I don’t want to be an obnoxious overconfident person but why could I not see my own potential?

Body issues

I have started self tanning, nothing severe just a nice healthy glow. A few shades darker then my white befreckled skin ( I love my freckles)

I start with my legs and work my way up. I am okay with my body. Then I get to my belly and I turn my head in disgust every time!

You are supposed to apply in a circular motion but my belly is so big that I end up swishing it around. Chasing the flesh trying to cover it in the same amount of cream.

I hate it, it’s the part of my body that I hate.

So why the negativity

I hate it

My belly disgusts me. I am trying to cut back on drink ( I still drink just not during the week (as much)) I haven’t run during the heatwave because it’s a heatwave people! But I have been walking home to burn some calories.

I am not working hard enough I know but the truth of the matter is. I am being way to harsh. My belly isn’t horrific at all.

My negativity is holding me back from helping myself and being positive. Being negative isn’t going to make me think hey get your arse in to gear. Negativity is going to make me go, your belly is already big why not have another bar of galaxy!

This isn’t something that is going to change over night but it is something I can work on and get out of the habit.

Negativity is the worst habit!

Let’s try to be kinder to ourselves!