Kindness is key: wedding planning is stressful

Personal Experience, Planning, Wedding, Wedding Budget

I know I keep harping on about being kind. But I think it is so important. When my scorpion tail whips out with cruel or bitter words I have to stop myself.

Why the vitriol?

Planning a wedding is stressful especially when you are arranging everything. We both work full time so it’s just our spare time that we are fitting everything in. Our venue is an empty box. So we have nothing to work with, it’s brilliant but a lot of work!

Our first year together! 10 years ago.

So it gets a bit much

Sometimes we snap at each other. Mostly is miscommunication sometimes is tiredness. But then he does something so small and lovely I remember why we are doing this.

Because we love each other and we want this. Our weddings isn’t massive but it’s not small either. It’s what we want, where we want and the majority of it is how we want.

I read a blog where the bride said if you find it stressful then you are doing it wrong. I am pretty sure she didn’t have to arrange every little bit. I think being so positive about the stress can put a dampener on those who are trying to deal with it. Yes this is a first world problem but I am working pretty much everyday to sav for this.

We are not getting in debt for one day!

I feel like stress and negativity are like childbirth. When the wedding day is over you kind of forget about the rest of it. My best friend appears to have forgotten the calls she made about things going wrong etc!

Truth

I am loving planning our wedding.

When things get made and ticked off the list I am so happy!

Things come up all the time. Little issues that we haven’t thought about and have to solve. Saving has been hard but so far none of the issues have been about money.

Just organising and getting things done. A lot of this has fallen on my shoulders and has made me weary. Folding a hundred invites hasn’t been to bad. Thanks to gin and YouTube! It’s still time consuming and as this blog goes out it will all be done!

Writing things down and setting a plan has helped. My helpful family ( that includes his) has helped so much!

My advice to you….

  • ask for help when you need it. Understand there will be stressful times. I almost killed Gav over stationery! But we went for a drink and sorted it out.
  • Talk to your partner there is a reason you are marrying them.
  • Do dye 130 napkins if it makes you happy!
  • Be kind to yourself and to others!

Enjoy it!

DIY wedding, dying my own napkins

Wedding, Wedding Budget

Our venue is beautiful and magical and it one of the those set ups where you do everything yourself. Hire everything, including the linen.

It means a lot of work but then I guess it’s a bit more special.

We also have the venue from the Friday till the Saturday which is amazing. We have a lot of time to set up and get ready.

So I started thinking about where we are and what sort of food we are having. I truly believe in a well dressed table, it hurts my eyes when table cloths have thick folding lines. It makes me want to Holt the wedding breakfast and iron the tables..

I don’t even have ocd I just hate an in-ironed tableclothes.

I love a dressed table, flowers, nice glasses. If someone has made the effort then I really appreciate it. So I decided to dye my own napkins.

DIY napkins

Is that crazy?

My friend Charlotte showed me a picture of her sisters birthday where they ombré dyed the napkins a gorgeous grey and well I fell in love.

She found the napkins at a place in brick lane where hotel and restaurants get rid of perfectly good seconds. And so she bought mine.

Task as hand

Yup all 120 napkins plus a few spares.

This sounds like a mammoth chore but it’s not.

I did the first batch in a few hours in a patch of sunshine the British weather bestowed on me.

Instructions

So I read the instructions and like any modern women I watched a few YouTube videos to boot.

The best piece of advice I got was that the fabric had to be wet in order to absorb the dye better.

I used two different strengths of dye and dipped my first batch of napkin. I put them in different buckets. So I popped them in my weaker green bucket. Then into the darker second. I am just going for a ombré effect and I love the results so far.

I used the length of my glove as a measurement and held my napkins at an angle so that one corner was left white.

They are still drying in this picture I had to cover the deck with plastic you get for painting so that I didn’t stain everything. I used gloves so my hands didn’t go green. Only when I moved the dye it exploded onto my hands and I now have green tinged fingers.

At least it matches my ring!

I really enjoyed myself.

I only have 90 more to dye as these are currently in my bathroom drying over night.

I can’t wait to have these finished and another job ticked off my list!

What DIY jobs have done, doing?

Saving is hard

Wedding Budget

January is always hard on the budget but with saving for the wedding this month has been even harder.

Everything adds up.

Weddings are just money traps.

I am doing well with my savings as long as I keep going.

Self portrait

Hermit life for me

I have basically been a hermit for this month. I don’t want to wish the days away but payday can not come soon enough. I have been hitting the freezer for dinners. We have been buying a few bits of veg but it is amazing how much food your cupboards can hold.

It’s been a useful exercise.

We had a mini Christmas with my brother and sister in law. It was lovely. We ate and drank. I cooked a big roast dinner with two chickens, stuffing roast veg and cauliflower cheese.

I made extra so I could make a roast chicken dinner pie which was really good. We were eating for a fair few dinners so I didn’t have to cook for a few nights. Home cooking is so much better than take out ( not you Dominos). And a bit more friendly on the hips too!


Watching my savings

Wedding talk

Most of our conversations are about the wedding.

“Have you called blah blah” “did you hear back from the caterer”

Every one you tick something off the list you end up taking a chunk from budget.

We are doing this together and although I am probably doing the majority of the research and chasing suppliers. It’s a team effort. I would hate to do this all by myself.

I don’t mean making the decisions. Sometimes I wish I could have it all my way. But this is about our marriage not just a wedding. It has to reflect us both. We generally agree on most things but Gav is a little old fashioned.

Who knew!

Charity shop wedding dress

Keep moving, keep saving

So I will keep scrimping and saving and planning. The lists appear to be increasing.

Still to do;

  • Book caterer
  • Book hair and makeup trial
  • Book band (we have one fingers crossed)
  • Buy wedding shoes
  • Design invites
  • Send invites
  • Dye napkins
  • Collect vases
  • Cake tasting( konditor and cook)
  • Buy bridesmaids dresses
  • Grooms suits

Is that it? Probably not.

February shouldn’t be too hard on the pennies. With the goal so close I am finding it easier to go without.

Happy saving.

Rainbow cake….. not Konditor and Cook