self care

As it turns out

I didn’t get into Uni.

I was heartbroken. I am.

There were tears and frustrations, I was ready to take this next step, to go back to uni and make something of myself.

Have a career I could be proud of.

Now I feel like a failure.

Old and out of date.

I have no plans and no path.

Plan B is to get a job. I now have to carve a career in something else and I have no clue what in.

All I know is that I don’t want to work in front-end retail. No weekend or late nights, no thank you. I have done enough of them to last a lifetime.

I want to work, I also want to earn money again I just have no idea what in.

It is hard feeling so lost.

I don’t see any value in my work experience, their will be hundreds of 20 year old with their fingers on the modern button.

Self confidence has plummeted and self doubt is now keeping me up at night.

This post feels very self indulgent, I know it does. I just don’t know how to pull my socks up and get on with it.

Maybe if I find the right job.

Maybe.

Watercolour moon

I am sure in a few blogs I will be alright. I will find the motivation to update my CV so everyone will want to hire me. I will look at my age as experience rather than a negative. The fact that I am jack of all trades master of none may work in my favour rather than against me, but for now I am allowing my self to indulge in the disappointment.

I am working on my sketch book and focusing on my art.

Maybe that’s what I should have done all along.

About DP

Hi, I am Dana. I am dyspraxic trying to function and get organised in my dysfunctional world. I don’t shy away from technology but I do have a preference for all things paper and analog. I am trying to organise our lives through my bullet journal, travel around the globe and save money!!! Impossible I know. I have a hard time believing that you should spend a fortune on one day. So, with my creative skills and frugality I will hopefully create my dream wedding without getting into debt. My bullet journal has been a life saver, so much that I now have 3. One for life, one for wedding planning and my last for this blog. I am lost without them. I have a wonderful partner, two fur babies ( Manhattan and Frank) a full time job that I love and my love of blogging. Please bear with me with my spelling and grammar I do proof read about 4 times but I still miss things. I won’t be offended if you correct me. So that’s me, I draw and teach art to both kids and adults and I believe anyone can create anything you just have to practice. I have had to try and try at organising, that is why I am the Dysfunctional Planner.

2 comments on “As it turns out

  1. Have faith. You get the job that you want. Keep trying.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes I actually feel really positive at the moment, full of optimism and opportunity

      Like

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