Dysfunctional Planner

I didn’t get into Uni.

I was heartbroken. I am.

There were tears and frustrations, I was ready to take this next step, to go back to uni and make something of myself.

Have a career I could be proud of.

Now I feel like a failure.

Old and out of date.

I have no plans and no path.

Plan B is to get a job. I now have to carve a career in something else and I have no clue what in.

All I know is that I don’t want to work in front-end retail. No weekend or late nights, no thank you. I have done enough of them to last a lifetime.

I want to work, I also want to earn money again I just have no idea what in.

It is hard feeling so lost.

I don’t see any value in my work experience, their will be hundreds of 20 year old with their fingers on the modern button.

Self confidence has plummeted and self doubt is now keeping me up at night.

This post feels very self indulgent, I know it does. I just don’t know how to pull my socks up and get on with it.

Maybe if I find the right job.

Maybe.

I am sure in a few blogs I will be alright. I will find the motivation to update my CV so everyone will want to hire me. I will look at my age as experience rather than a negative. The fact that I am jack of all trades master of none may work in my favour rather than against me, but for now I am allowing my self to indulge in the disappointment.

I am working on my sketch book and focusing on my art.

Maybe that’s what I should have done all along.