Dysfunctional Planner

A strange fact about me is although I am a maximalist in pretty much everything I love the minimalist mindset. I always have. I love the idea that value should have in everything. Invest in everything we do and do it consciously.

I think sometimes being British and our natural cynicism doesn’t help. Brits tend to role their eyes at gratitude as a positive mindset. I know. I have been their too.

Even if friends where super happy and super positive I found it difficult to swallow. Difficult to accept that this is how they are feeling and dealing with life.

Lucky most of my friends have a dry semi optimistic outlook so I didn’t have to roll my eyes too often.

But now I am trying to live a happier more positive life. I am supposed to manifest exactly what I want but at the moment I am more of a mid place. A mid place is where I don’t take things to seriously, not hard on myself and don’t let things get me down.

“What will be will be”

It’s the place I have to be right now. Applying for jobs is not fun, a positive attitude helps but it can be hard when it’s not good news. So Que Será Será for me and I am happy with that.

Positive steps I am taking is trying to appreciate everything I have. From hugging my husband extra close. Giving my dog more attention. Daily affirmation.

It sounds so alien to me to be typing this but it physically makes me feel better to actively try and be more loving and grateful. It’s still weird. I am still finding my feet but I do feel good.

The strangest thing to me has been trying not to be negative and critical of others. I don’t mean in a horrible trolling kind of way. No negative judgment at all. It’s about trying to look for the good and positives even if they don’t a-line with you. So if I don’t like what someone has done to their home or new shoes they have bought. I am trying not to dislike them but just think “ good for her” .

I sound like a very unpleasant person.

I am not but I am trying to be better.

We need to support each other and be happy for each other.

Last year I was consumed with anger and now I am feeling so much calmer.

I am happy in this mid place, I am learning lots and not jumping to frustration. I feel calm and good so I will continue this positive journey.