Dysfunctional Planner

I stood on a bee a few days ago. My foot was fine, now, a few days later it is swollen and itchy, it feels strange to walk on it. I was gardening yesterday in grandads garden. It’s overgrown and needs tidying. The weather was hot so my boots just came up to my ankles which was a huge mistake as my legs are covered with scratches and cuts.

I woke up today having not slept. Itchy sore legs and my dog Frank had an itchy nights sleep. The temperature was uncomfortable even for a normal summers night.

I felt very sorry for myself.

I got up.

I have a few jobs in the morning I have to do. Today was no exception. Wake up at 7.30 to put the bins out except I couldn’t sleep so I was up at 6am instead. I had a shower and fed Frank.

Made me and Gavin an iced coffee and watered the garden.

Then I sat, still in my dressing gown and felt sorry for myself. My motivation is zero. I just want to curl up in bed and cry but I can’t. So instead of wallowing in feeling bad I just accepted that I had low energy and I should just enjoy this time. Appreciate that I can actually take the morning to myself, rather than dwelling I just had to accept it. Gavin understood and let me be.

12pm was arriving soon so I went upstairs and made the bed so I can crawl into it later. It’s a new habit I want to make for myself. I put on some clothes and felt a little more prepared for the day. I had a craving for cheesy garlic bread so I made some for us for lunch. It was a bit rich but it’s delicious and I am glad I made it.

Then I started my daily jobs, cleaning the kitchen, made a bread and butter pudding and stocked up the fridge with Diet Coke.

Self reflection so it was a pretty productive day considering I had and have no energy. My motivation is low and my mood was glum but I pulled through rather than pushed through.

When I realised I was a bit miserable I completed my morning jobs and then I relaxed. I didn’t feel guilty or disappointed in my lack of energy. I just took some time for me. It was just a few hours but it slightly recharged me. I focused on how lucky I am to be able to take this time. I am lucky that I could make myself a nice coffee and watch Greys anatomy.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t need a pep talk. I just needed to look after myself.

Out with the negative and in with the positive, I am really trying to change my mindset.