A little tenderness

Advice, health, Personal Experience

Todays blog is about sharing a little tenderness. I love the face that there are so many posts about kindness. It doesn’t take much to be kind. Generally it takes nothing but time.

Take the time to be kind.

Shivelry used to be a male thing but it doesn’t have to be we can all be kind, generous.

I am a first aider at work.

I am a proud first aider. The course makes you feel a little awkward when you you are practicing but after you feel confident. Ready to face any challenge.

It has come in handy so many times including when I fell over and sprained my ankle ( I was good at wrapping bandages).

As a grown up you learn that you don’t have to like everybody

I have a small group friends. I don’t make new friends easily. But I am friendly and even if I don’t like you I can still be there for you. I can still support you at your lowest.

Caring is not about liking.

Caring is just about making sure everyone or just someone is okay. That they can call you if they need an ear. Or you will sit with them and let them cry when they are lost.

I hate thinking of someone in pain. I try not to be mean, I do not advocate people who say what you think because “they are just being honest”. But that is for another blog I think. To quote Cher

“Word are like weapons, they wound sometimes”

I actually met one of my great friend when she was grieving. She was new at work and I was told not to trust her. She was excellent at her job but we just didn’t get on. I came up stairs and she was arguing on the phone about her mother’s account. Her mother had passed away and she had already sent them the paperwork. She was distraught and I just opened up my arms and she stepped in. We had no real relationship before this. I just knew she need physical support and nothing beats a hug when you are feeling down.

No one should feel that alone when they are upset. We weren’t friends at the time but she needed comfort and it cost me nothing. I told her to take her time and come down when she was ready.

She repaid me back a few weeks later. We still weren’t friends but we had a sort of respect for one another.

My brother was ill in hospital and I was rightly worried about him. I snapped at a staff member on the phone then her boss rang me back and bollocked me. I was rude and deserved it but I was falling apart. Katie said you need a drink and took me out. She said it was out of character for me to be rude and talked me through it. We have been friends ever since.

A small act of kindness can save someone from drowning in their sorrows.

Plus i made a friend out of it.

If you know me you know that I can’t leave a vulnerable person.

The amount of times I have sat with a person who was upset or who needed help. I am not someone who walks past I can’t help it. Gav supports me on it.

Sometime helping can expose yourself

Doubt can creep in your mind when you see a situation. It’s important to be cautious, you don’t want to put yourself in a dangerous situation or make things worse. Never expose yourself if you are concerned you can always call the emergency services and step back.

Just make sure that you inform someone

We live in a world of technology and our emergency services are phenomenal every single one of them. They can help you, talk you through a situation and they don’t judge you for it. So as soon as you spot a situation that needs help. Get on your phone and ask for help. If you are by yourself call someone to let them know where you are and what has happened.

You will feel vulnerable and exposed.

One sunny day a few year ago I saw a man on the floor in the street. I was watching him as I approached. I saw a women step around him and make her way home. I didn’t blame her she felt vulnerable too because he was a man and didn’t know how to react. She didn’t know how he going to react to her or the situation. This happened on my street so I ran home and told Gav what had happened , dumped my valuables and ran back to help the man. I thought maybe it was a con, doubt set in my mind that maybe he would rob me or assault me. But I still had to see if he was okay. Gav was a bit confused and stood at the gate watching me. Not sure if he had fainted or just collapsed but I went through the steps. Calling out asking his name name. He stirred and I helped him up. He weighed nothing but I supported him home. He lived a few doors down. I was worried he would be hit buy a car.

I don’t know how long he had been there.

The reason I am writing this blog is what happened this week. London is full of underpasses and dark spaces.

It can be a scary lonely place, lets face it when the sun goes down we all feel a little exposed.

I hate them. They fill me with dread. I am so aware of my surroundings that I jump at every noise.

Tonight I had to walk under one of these terrors and as I approach the end there looked like an incident had occured.

I was alone and something ahead had happened. My heart skipped a beat.

As I approached I noticed that a large man had passed out and 3 concerned people where standing over him. One lady on her phone to emergency services.

Thank you 999

A guy with his dog and a woman. All three concerned.

As I approached a man walked round and said he was homeless and he had seen him before and walked on. The rest of us stayed put, we could not leave him. They started discussing what had happened to him drugs alcohol…. none of this mattered.

Emergency services operator asked us to put him on his back as he was breathing but not responding to us. The women in the phone said I am tiny I can’t do it.

So I did.

I approached him and started talking loudly and clearly even though he didn’t respond. I didn’t want him to wake up with a strange person touching his arms and moving his feet.

The other lady helped me. We did it all smoothly and the lady on the phone took off her beautiful soft cream scarf and put it under his head so that this mans head wouldn’t touch the floor. I went through the steps in my head. Talk to them, tell them what you are doing move them slowly and keep repeating yourself so if they can hear you they understand.

The man had a discharge band on his wrist so we knew his name and his age.

He is 1 year younger than me.

Photo by Taufiq Klinkenborg on Pexels.com

He was snoring loudly at this time so we know that he was alive however he was vulnerable. Anything could have happened to him in that state.

And if he took drugs or was drunk that does not mean that he deserves to be left alone.

4 strangers waited for an ambulance to come. We wouldn’t leave him.

I don’t care if he took drugs or drink or what caused him to get in this situation. We should never leave people alone when they are at there most vulnerable.

My biggest worry was not his health but how other people would react to him. Would he be beaten or abused in his semi comatose state. All it takes is a bunch or bored kids to do some real damage. Sadly we know that this happens all the time.

My first aid course is out of date and I am having a new one this Friday. I urge you all if anyone offers this position in work that you go for it.

It gives you confidence and knowledge that is vital in situations like this.

Knowledge is power and we should always be there for the vulnerable.

This was a bit of a serious one but I really do think that we should all be a bit more caring and kind. I believe the world is truly a kind and loving place but it is easy to focus on bad things. The negative things in your day often overtake all the good things. All the times you laughed today get out weighed by the rude person who pushed in front of you at the supermarket.

so today, this week, this year, I hope you try a little tenderness.

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