Guilt behind the diet: confessions of a chubby bride

body confidence, Fitness, health, weight loss

Everyone who has ever started a diet, cleanse or trying to be healthier is always struck by guilt. Guilt of want bad foods. Guilt of eating bad foods. Guilt of the scales for tipping over when we know we have been a bit naughty.

So as you can guess I really really didn’t want to put this picture up! But guess what this is me. Fat going over my running leggings and a belly over hanging. Now before you say I don’t look too bad you need to remember. I have excess fat over my vital organs. This is bad and unhealthy and frankly needs to go.

Being over weight isn’t about looking good or bad it’s actually just bad for you and if I don’t get fit now, then when. Plus I am unhappy so I need to do this!

Guilt is your enemy

It makes you feel like you have failed and so don’t want to try when actually you should just keep going.

Cheat days, treats these are negative words that can make you want to give up when you have been trying so hard.

Working out what your relationship with food is so important! I am emotional eater if I am upset or angry then I crave chocolate. And a little chocolate isn’t bad but I am a compulsive eater who isn’t good with portion control.

Stuck in a rut

The other problem with diets is getting stuck in a rut and convenience. There are no healthy option take always where I live. So you start off well. Putting healthy veg in your fridge. Looking at fat percentage in your mince etc.

But then you start eating the same thing all the time.

I have my go to meals that are no brainers but it’s the snacking that causes issues I love fruit but shouldn’t it be sliced and put in my gin and tonic?

An apple is delicious but it is not, nor will ever be, a bar of chocolate!

So when you fill up your fridge make sure you put things in it that you actually want to eat rather than because someone told you too.

Kale will never be my friend

Chocolate will always be my wayward friend, I will never let go of them completely. We have to much history, too many good times!

But I need to get real and focus.

Running is helping, I am more proactive to eat better after a run or long walk

But I am not giving up

I am not going to make myself feel bad if I eat 4 Bakewell tarts. I am a compulsive eater. I keep telling you this. I would have eaten all 6 but I gave 2 away.

Being negative is never going to help. Being self deprecating doesn’t motivate you to lose weight. Guilt doesn’t make you feel better.

I want to do this

I am going to do this!

My favourite healthy lunch I prepare at work

body confidence, Fitness, food, health, Personal Experience, weight loss

So I am training, toning and eating healthier. I am a stone (14lbs) over weight. I thought I would share with you some of my favourite healthy lunches that I prepare at work.

I get 30 minutes for lunch so I don’t have a lot of time. This Asian salad I saw on a website and have adapted it to suit me.

You will need:

  • Shredded carrots
  • Cabbage medley
  • Asian slaw
  • Roasted sesame seeds
  • Prawns ( I chose chilli and coriander)
  • Soy ( I am using Tamara less salt)
  • Sriracha ( I don’t like heat but I love this sauce)
  • A lime

This will make 2 lunches with enough salad to make 2/3 more.

I would love not to buy things with so much plastic however everything I bought was prepacked. Plus I only get 30 minutes so I have time constraints.

So Tesco is my local supermarket to work. I tend to do a shop for the weeks lunches! This isn’t a cheap lunch but I get 4 lunches out of it so it works out at about 2.50 a lunch and 250 calories per portion. I colour make this a lot cheaper by pre preparing everything at home but I would have to buy a lot of ingredients that I would have to eat all week.

Eating habits

I don’t know about you but I hate eating the same thing every day. When you are single this is the worse part of cooking!

I decided to prepare lunch for my work colleagues who only eats fish.

This Asian slaw is literally pickled cabbage and it takes so yummy. It adds an acid and freshness to this salad and I love it!

Now you want to give it a good mix

Now you add more flavour. Tamari has less salt than normal soy and it gluten free ( not that this effects me)

Hot source

sriracha is my new best friend when it comes to cooking. The level of heat is just yummy. Even for people who don’t like heat I would recommend using this! Just add a little at a time! I always find I need just a wee bit more!

Everything tastes better with sesame seeds. These roasted ones last for ages in your cupboard and they can make pretty much any dish tasty.

Fresh lime. I love like with the sweet salty chilli dressing you have put in this just helps sharpen it all up!

Perfect quick lunch

Yum, add as little or as less as you like. If I don’t add it does feel like I am missing something.

So that’s it!

I have more healthy lunches coming but for under 300 calories this is a great lunch and if there are left overs that get to marinate over night, so tastes even better.

What’s your favourite lunches.

Bad maths equals a half marathon

body confidence, Fitness, health, weight loss

So I entered a half marathon.

I can run 5k so training for just over 10k shouldn’t be a problem.

Except a half marathon isn’t 10k or even 13k, its 21k which is bloody far.

I signed up because I couldn’t convert the bloody Kilometres to miles.

never

But its for charity and I have signed up for it and also got my colleagues to sign up for it too so there is no going back!

I have no doubts I can do this as I have 5 months till the race. 4 months till the wedding. This is going to help me shift some weight, tone up and lose my bingo wings.

I like running I did some last year. I had more energy felt better and was physically fitter. Then we had a long hot summer which was basically a no go. My awesome little sister is a marathon runner, she has done London and Paris. She loves it and its hopefully going to give me some tips.

Preparation

I have already been to the running shop to source some proper trainers as this is going to be hell on my legs and my old adidas need a rest as they can’t keep up with long distance. I am learning a lot about running support. The best shoes the best cloths. Guys if your legs brush or touch when you run then cover then up. My Primark bras have been replaced with proper supportive sports bars. I keep them for short runs.

I am going to keep you updates every Sunday on what I have been up to. If I have lost any weight, my inches (ahhh) but the thing is I think that by sharing it with you it will encourage me to commit to the run, commit to the weight loss and finally get my shit into gear.

Arse in gear

How long have I been engaged? 2 years and I still at the same weight as I was? Well I have lost 4lbs but that’s in two years which is shocking.

I need to loose an entire stone.

That is 14lbs. I will be so happy when I do. My belly fold won’t have to snuggle on top of each other when I tie my shoes. I will be drinking more water and eating less sugar.

so even though I started this challenge due to a mathematical error….. I am happy about it.

The right kit

My healthcare means that I get discounts on healthy things like trainers, Gym, Apple Watch so I can track things.

I took full advantage!

Investing in trainers is definitely important but I will go into that later on!

Are you a runner?

Have you done a half marathon? Any advice please leave in the comments!

Here is my giving page any donation no matter how big or small helps!

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/CraftyArts

Do you know where I will be in 5 years because I don’t!

Fitness, health, Organising, Travel, weight loss

Day 15, where will you be in 5 years, 30 day blog challenge.

I hate this question where do you see yourself?

Really I am a dreamer so I see myself as ……..dreaming.

No idea.

Knowing what I want to achieve is completely different from where I see myself. Because I don’t..

Do you? Honestly? I don’t have a five year plan I just have some goals I want to achieve. I hope I have achieved them.

So what I hope to achieve in the next 5 years!

I hope I have ticked off more of my bucket travel list. At least 15 countries would be great! Japan is next year along with a surprise for Gav for his fortieth. But Italian city’s I would love to explore! Need to learn to drive first though!

Brmm brmm

Driving ironically isn’t a hope or a goal. I would like to do it but it’s not at the top of my agenda. I feel like I wouldn’t make a good driver because I am too nervous. But that would change plus I wouldn’t have a small car! I would have a tank so that would give me bigger balls. I love Ute trucks and old fashioned range rovers with the wooden panels. I would remove the engine and put something greener in it!

Health and fitness

I hope I am a happy size 10/12 (US 6/8). I hope I do yoga and my core is strong and healthy. I hope I can run 10K without too much struggle. I hope my relationship with food is healthier.

This is the most important part. I hope I am fit, mentally and physically fit. It is a lot less about weight loss and a lot more and being healthy which is the right attitude to have. It’s the right step in a healthy direction whilst still treating myself to a dominos and chocolate 🍫 every now and again.

Courage

I hope to have more courage on the mountain. To bomb it down with the rest of them as long as it feels comfortable. To surf the powder and explore more slopes in different countries outside of the french Alps.

Doing what I want to do.

I would like to be a blogger full time?! Travel and lifestyle ( too vague to be successful, I know). Could this happen, well today is day 15. Half way through the challenge and I have almost doubled my followers, so thank you. Maybe in five years my blog will be successful

Love

I hope my marriage to Gavin is strong loving and kind. I hope that we still talk about everything and anything. I hope he doesn’t mind if I ask him in the middle of the night random questions about apocalyptic films and that I agree with Thanos.

I hope our house is filled with the pitter patter of tiny paws ( yes more dogs and cats) that I have a new kitchen and my house is clean and tidy.

Investing

I hope my savings account is nice and healthy and that I can indulge in treats for me and Gavin when ever I feel like it. I would hope that my spending habits would be healthier too. Less disposable shopping and getting back to investment pieces.

Conclusion

Okay so this was a bit of a silly blog, sorry. Like I said I don’t have a 5 year plan.

I want to be happy and healthy. I want my life to be filled with Joy. I want to be kind to everyone. I want to try a lot of gin!

Healthy habits, does chocolate count?

body confidence, food, health, Personal Experience

Day 14, 3 healthy habits, 30 day blog challenge.

I am slightly over weight, a sugar addict and lazy! So writing about 3 healthy habits seems a bit hypocritical however. I am trying to tone up and loose weight so I have change 3 things which is definitely a healthy habit.

Farewell Diet Coke

Like most people when they start dieting you give up the heavenly full fat drinks and swap them with diet drinks.

I became addicted we are talking 8 cans a day of Diet Coke. If I was hungry I would have one, every meal including breakfast I would have one. I felt like the fact that it had no calories meant that I could have it all the time.

Wrong

I started cutting back after Christmas when I ordered 3 crates of coke and Gav said it wasn’t healthy. When you rely on something too much then it’s a bad habit. It need to be kicked so I stopped.

I cut it down to two cans a day. Which was still a lot but at least it was something. This year I decided to cut out plastic water bottles. So cans of coke are harder to find.

Cutting back

When I went on holiday to Bulgaria I failed with my plastic bottles and diet coke wasn’t as everywhere so I treated myself to full fat coke!

But when I returned from holiday I didn’t buy any coke. At work I swapped my coke for squash because for some reason I wasn’t drinking enough water. I know squash isn’t that great. But I am drinking 4 litres of water everyday.

Swapping coke for water and squash is definitely a step in the right direction.

As you saw from my fridge yesterday there is no coke for either me or Gav. We both have a can but I still haven’t drunk it yet! If will be my Sunday treat!

Aurevoir chocolate

I had a lot of twix o’clock at work. Basically I now understand that I am an emotional eater. If I am upset then or annoyed then I want chocolate. Twix O’clock became a 2pm habit. I like to reward myself for everything!!!

It had to end. I am not going to deny myself chocolate but I definitely do not need it everyday. But a few times a week is fine. My skin doesn’t appreciate too much sugar so it better to cut right down. Plus I love celery so I cut it up and pop it in Tupperware. When I want to eat I something I can tuck into my cut up veg.

How good does that twix look!

Getting my arse into gear

So my last healthy habit is walking home. I get the bus to and from work. Living and working in London means that public transport is super cheap.

We now have lighter evening so roads and pathways don’t look so scary. So far I have walked home 3-4 times every week for the past 2 weeks . The weather hasn’t been great but it hasn’t stopped me.

My body is grateful for the exercise and fresh air. Plus it’s spring, so all the blossoms are out and my Instagram and a few of my blogs have had spring themes and lots of blossoms on them.

When I get home Gav meets me at the door with Frank and we go and walk him in the park. I have a wee bit more energy and my skin looks better.

Even though I should not reward myself I don’t feel so bad for eating a piece ( a whole bar, I am a compulsive eater) of chocolate.

But walking isn’t just about physical health. My 45 minute walk home clears my head. I listen to music and zone out. Walking has left me in a meditative state. I come home happy. The weather hasn’t bothered me.

I have given myself a task of 70000 steps a week and so far I have smashed it. I just need to keep going!

In summary

When I was photographing this I wanted to hurry up so I could drink the Diet Coke, it’s 10am so I will make myself wait! I also ate the celery, yum and will eat the chocolate later.

I am trying to be healthy, getting fit for the wedding. I have saved money walking home. I am saving roughly £24 a month so… I am going back to the gym. It’s only £36 a month and I miss it. I can go before work, my work mates go every day.

It about changing your mindset and creating a habit that you stick too. I am drinking more water (squash) walking home and cutting out my chocolate snacks for fruit and veg!

Things are getting better and I am feeling better!

Watch this space!

What’s in my Fridge, is a weird one

food, health

Day 13, what’s in your fridge, 30 day blog challenge

Okay do you really care?

Do you really want to know?

Before we go into what is in my fridge. You need to know about the amount of cheese in my fridge.

There is a lot of cheese.

My fridge is divided into shelves top shelf is cheese and dairy!

Manchego, Parmesan, cheddar, Camembert, Stilton, Port Salut and many many more.

For the love of booze

Second shelf is a bit more boozy! We have a bottle of Prosecco two Marks and spencer cocktails which we need to crack open. Limes because what is a G&T without fruit. Plums that may end up in a crumble and raspberry’s which are my favourite fruit and Frank loves them too!

We have a few alcohol Pops in the background. You put them into your drinks, I like them in Prosecco! Chestnut purée which I have no idea what to do with but Gav got it for me because I love chestnuts so much! Oh and a family sized Tiramisu which we don’t actually like that much. And a low fat yogurt which again I don’t like so Frank may end up having it for his breakfast!

I hate wasting food.

Looking healthy

Mid shelf is reserved for anything! We generally put cooked meat, so this is where my Chorizo lived. When I was looking at my fridge I found 3 chorizo all opened so I need to use them up. Hard times!

I have okra, fresh curry leaves and aubergine so I am really looking forward to having a yummy curry and maybe making an aubergine dip.

Gravalax, I love fish, me and Gav don’t eat it enough. Tomorrow I plan on having salmon, avocado with poached eggs. Yummy!

We have a massive bowl of mushrooms, scotch bonnets and a little tub of baked beans. I bought these glass Tupperware from Amazon and seriously they are my absolute favourite buy for my house this year. You can pop them in the oven, microwave and fridge. I am making more lunches and they are healthier too!

Bottom shelf is where I keep the meat. We have belly pork for the roast and some local sausages. Carrots and fresh pasta that I used in tonight’s dinner.

More veg

Yup fresh tomatoes, courgettes, red peppers, celery, onions and a cauliflower.

So I think that’s everything. What’s in my fridge is a weird one! Most of the time my fridge doesn’t look this good or full. Today was my day off, so we went to the market and bought a lot of fresh produce. I will spend tomorrow dinner planning and I am already excited.

Before it got tidied.

Confessions

In all honesty I had to clean out my fridge to take these photos. I tidied them up and threw out all the cheese and bits that I found that had gone past there sell by date.

Gav has an obscene amount of bbq sauces. He loves them but he is not allowed to get any more until he has used them all up. The fridge door hold back all his sauces, tonic water, milk and some fruit juices!

It needed a clean up so I didn’t mind giving it a spruce!

Low energy, no motivation is the couch my new best friend?

body confidence, Fitness, health, weight loss

It may be the holiday blues. I may just be being hard on myself but at the moment when I come home from work I don’t want to do anything. We eat dinner and then the couch gives me a hug and then I hop into bed.

I have lost my mojo.

Low energy

I wake up at 5am every morning. I stretch, do yoga, shower, eat a nutritious breakfast and head to work!

Nope

I do wake up at 5am give or take 20minutes. Only because the dog gets lonely and starts barking. As we don’t want grumpy neighbours or a grumpy Gav! I go downstairs and bring Frank upstairs for morning cuddles and a lie in.

I am not a faffer. I like to get up ( for the second time) shower. Have a cup of tea.

Mmm tea

Then I take Frank for his morning walk to stretch his little legs. Give him his breakfast. Then me and Gav walk to the station together which is my favourite part of the day!

I hop on a bus, get to work and have my breakfast. I can’t eat first thing in the morning so I get to work early so I can have my last cup of tea and get ready for work. I have food at work so it’s easy to prepare.

Sorry for the boring bit!

No motivation

When I get home I don’t want to do anything. Cooking and cleaning are the last thing I want to do. I am not motivated at all. The couch is calling me, along with Netflix and YouTube.

It is hard to start exercising when you don’t want to get your arse off up the couch.

I know what I have to do. I need to change my eating habits, I need more healthy foods and to exercise. Which is easy to say but not execute when you have no motivation.

None

Action

My whinging is boring me. So today I walked home. The sky threatened to rain the whole way but didn’t. And I found the most beautiful Magnolia blossoms which I would not have seen or smelt this incredible tree if I had got the bus!

I stood under it in awe.

I am planning on walking again tomorrow and go for a run at the weekend.

This is the plan.

Plan

  1. Swap unhealthy for healthier snacks
  2. Meal plan
  3. Meal prep for lunches
  4. Walk home 2-4 times a week
  5. Run 2-3 times a week

That’s the plan. I needed to be held accountable for my actions and my weight. After a week of exercise my body isn’t in bad shape, my stomach got a bit of a toning but now is not the time to back track.

I have to push myself. I don’t want regrets, I want to be proud of myself.

My body has been good to me so far. My health is good and it has got me through a lot!

So I will still be having my nightly hug with my gorgeous couch!

I want to look good for the wedding and then keep up the fitness up afterwards. My walk was unplanned so I didn’t have headphones but I enjoyed it, it’s a solid 50minute walk through nice streets.

I just have to push myself and stop making excuses!

Wish me luck!