Heartbreak, Hero’s and Wedding Plans

When we got engaged everyone said “you wait for the drama and family issues”. A wedding really does bring out heartbreak but it also shines a light on the hero’s in our lives. I smiled politely at them, I thought we would be okay with our wedding planning. Although both our parents aren’t together now I still didn’t see any drama coming.

But then I caused it.

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My brother’s wedding

My sister’s birthday is in July. She will be turning 40 so it is a big one. Two years ago, we decided we would all fly out to see her and celebrate it together in New Zealand. Then a year to the date came up she suggested that she came over, instead of all of us going out to see her.

All of us were grateful that we didn’t have to travel for such a long way for two weeks, plus the money we would save. It was perfect.

Then we got engaged

My sister was over the moon- she couldn’t believe it and was super happy when we said it wouldn’t be for another 18 months as my family are spread all over the globe.

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Me and Vicky in Mahe, Seychelles

Payet’s love to travel

My sister is going to be one of my bridesmaids. Not because we are related but because she is my friend, she means so much to me.

When my ex told me he no longer loved me after I moved out to Australia to begin our new life, it was my sister who booked my flight out to New Zealand 4 days later so I didn’t have to face him. I stayed a month with her moping around the house, crying in my pillow, using up her phone bill to text him. She just let me go through the motions. She booked my hair cut so I could chop off my hair (the most therapeutic way of getting over heart break). Considering how devastated I was, I had a really great time. We had so much fun watching Harry Potter on the couch. Reminiscing about British Christmas and that Lamb is not the same as roast turkey.

First cut is the deepest, but my sister stood next to me with a giant plaster

A month later I had to face my ex and get my stuff sorted to send back to London. We tried and we failed. As I had absolutely nothing to go back for, no Job and no home.  I decided to visit my Dad in the Seychelles and my mum in France. It took me two months to get back to London but I didn’t have any jet lag. I tried to look for the silver lining.  The plane stopped off in Thailand.

5 days all by myself.

I was heartbroken and stuck in the hotel. Not wanting to spend my money because I needed it when I got home. The first day I barely left my room but I was getting so bored. All I could think was that if anything happened to me here no one would know. I was scared to leave the hotel. So I listened to the voice in my head saying come on Dans you can do this. It was my sisters voice telling me not to be afraid. Telling me I could do this, just go for a walk around the block. Explore, be brave and take advantage of the situation. Off I hopped into an illegal cab and did some exploring.

My sister is often the encouraging voice in my head.

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Me and Vicky wearing Gryffindor when I am actually Hufflepuff

She is my hero

And my life moved onwards and definitely upwards.

Then I got engaged.

So when she facetimed my to let me know she couldn’t come over for her birthday it felt like a stab in my heart. I felt a lump rise in my throat and the guilt was overwhelming, I couldn’t look at her. She just stared at me as my eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t see and I couldn’t face her.

I wouldn’t see my sister this year because of my wedding.

She would be alone (not really, she has a family out in New Zealand) but without us.

And because she was coming over no one had saved enough……….

Gavin called me. My sister had called him to ask if I was okay (she wasn’t getting her birthday but she was worried about me) I cried down the phone to him in hysterics. I called our wedding stupid on numerous occasions. My brother helped me calm down (also a good voice of reason) I hadn’t seen her in 3 years. My niece and nephew are proper people now not just little ones.

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3 hero’s here, my bro Sister and Dad

I called my mum so she could tell Vicky how I was feeling. But I still couldn’t face her.

After a while we started calling again. I was saving for a wedding and she understood but the guilt didn’t go away. My bestie suggested I fly out to see her but Gav said we really can’t afford it. He said that my sister didn’t mind and that I shouldn’t either.

I am not going to New Zealand.

My dad suggested that Vicky take the kids to Seychelles and she agreed. Cocktails, sunshine and family: perfect.

Decisions

I didn’t have the time off so I couldn’t go.

I didn’t have money to spare so I couldn’t afford the flight.

I was already going to France for two weeks to see my mum it is her 60th! I also didn’t have the holiday.

So, I booked my flight to Seychelles stopping at Paris on the way back for my mums birthday.

Screw it, I will just have to Ebay all my clothes.

I can’t wait.

My sister has already filled my suitcase with harry potter cushions and clothes for the kids. Thank you, Emirates, and your 30kilo allowance.

We are going to visit all our favourite places. Dad is going to cook us our favourite meals. We are going to drink ice cold Seybrew on the beach and drink gin all night long.

So we do have family issues, I am sure there will be more to come. But right now, family is more important than my bank balance.

This one is to all the hero’s in my life.

In this blog I mentioned a lot of them.

Dana

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